I understand your problem. I'm always knocking over furniture and punching out windows with my enormous erection, when I'm not shooting holes in the ceiling with my cannon-like ejaculations. My neighbors get really pissed off whenever I shoot a hole in a wall or in the ceiling, till I explain to them that I just can't help it. I have to decide whether to get the damage repaired or just to live in a half-wrecked house.
Oh, excuse me, I thought this was the "Fictional Stories" forum.
Shudders, definitely. I think shudders are just the thing for you. If they don't work, you can always try shutters.