What's your most embarrasing sexual experience?

NC_BBC

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This isn't exactly sexual as in sex but still douchy. I once told a girl in middle school i was 5 feet long. Stopped for second then corrected it to five inches lol. Was too late, the damage was done. Jeez, if i knew then lol.

ppppppppppppppppppppppppp lol :haha:
 

LisaMarie

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Well, let's see, I've been busted at a boyfriend's house by a neighbor who saw a strange car in the driveway when no one was supposed to be home. I've been busted in our hot tub by my daughter who thought she would surprise us with a visit from college. I've locked myself out of the house topless watering plants on the lanai. Should I go on?

Ask Cap to tell his morning wood story. Haha!!!



Lmfao @ locking yourself out topless Ellie!!!! :eek:
 

Remington

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I witnessed a pretty fucking hilarious one, this morning.

Some friends and myself decided to go for a late night/morning drive. After cruising around, we decided to park up at this particularly beautiful spot and watch the sun rise.

Now, when we stopped, we noticed this BMW truck on the far end of the lot. We paid it no mind until it started rocking in a rather......rhythmic fashion.

As time goes on, and the sun starts to rise, the BMW is rocking much faster, and we start to hear the suspension creek and a bunch of vocalizing.

This came to a halt, when the passenger side door opened up, and both came tumbling out of the car so hard, that shoes were flying. The guy with his shirt wide open & his pants around his ankles, and the woman had her skirt all hiked up and what looked to be a bra around her neck.

At this point my friends and myself lost all sense of composure, and cracked up laughing as the couple got back in the BMW and zoomed away. They were in such a rush that they forgot one of the woman's shoes.
 

Luvs2Squirt

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Okay, here is one of my most embarrassing moments...This happened about 20+ years ago...
I was with a guy friend and we were quite drunk on a hot summer night...He lived with his mom and we noticed that she was still up when we returned to the house from the bar. So we grabbed a blanket and went to the empty plot of land next door that was owned by his mom.
While he was getting busy down between my legs and I had my eyes shut and enjoying the moment, when I then heard a "ahem" come from right above me!!!
Yep!! It was the cops!!! Two of them!
I tapped him on the head and said "Stop!!".
He looks up and they shine their flashlights in his face while I scrambled to cover myself up, They said "Well if it isn't Mr. Doug Ox---!"
We thought we were in deep shit at first, but since we were on his mom's property, they just told us to get dressed and take it inside!! Whew!!!

And ever since then Doug and I had an inside joke when I would call him Mr. Doug Ox---!!
Bet those cops had a laugh sharing the story with their fellow cops!
 
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rbkwp

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i was rolling in dog shit the whole time.....


FCK ..
reminds me of a male fck over my New Yamaha 650, mixed with Dog Shit on trainers, somehow
well it was 3 odd in the am, side of the road, in a dark roadside rest area haha
(actually think it was Human shit tbh)

OMG
i feel a little nauseous re-thinking of it now hah
GOOD fck tho and early am sunrise tripping ride home ahhhhhh ....


and here i was proudly bypassing this thread with nary a nasty sexual experience, me thoughts?
 

1958ST

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it's funny to us now.
first, on our honey moon night, the wife locked herself in the bathroom and then came to bed wearing more night clothes than she wore dayclothes leaving the wedding.

later when we finally started to have intercourse, her hyman was real. when it busted, I tore her so that we had to make a quick trip the the emergency room for a stitch. scared us to no end as young inexperienced ones. but the embarassing thing was that we knew all the people in the emergency room and they knew us and had been at the wedding. all of them older than we were. Funny now, red faces at our expense from them then.
 

D_SharlieCheen

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Dont know if this shit is considered embarrassing or not but o well. Once after a lacrosse tournament at N.C state, I hooked up with some girls i knew from high school that go there now. But to make a long story short I ending up pounding the shit out of one of their roommates. Such amazing hot sex, I was making this chicks pussy so fing wet. When i pulled out to unload on her tits, I had such a big orgasm and it happened so quick i shoot this huge load of my cum onto a picture of her and her mom on the night stand. (in her dorm room, space was tight) She was so pissed, she didn't know how to clean it. So i told her to lick it off, but she didn't like that either. So there I was wiping my cum off this picture of some girl and her mom i really even didn't know. I was so embarrassed, but at the same time i thought it was funny. Tight weekend though, cant wait to get back.
 

voyeurgirl69

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Now that is a classic. I hope to God I don't do that one day!

I keep thinking because my face is here etc etc I'll end up being spotted. Thing is, I'm an exhibitionist. My reply would be "soooo... what do you think?" haha.

I would be like can't think have your cock in my mind......can I have it in my hand now?
 

julesq

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Many years ago I was dating a young lawyer who had a meddling, overbearing mother. He was an asthmatic and a diabetic. On afternoon, we were going at it on his desk. It was some of the best sex ever! The phones were always very busy in his office, but his private line kept ringing. As he was about to cum the phone rang and somehow we ended up hitting the speaker button. He was quite noisy both panting and says "oh god". His mother was on the other end of the phone. She thought he was having an asthma attack and decided that she should call one of his partners (they grew up together). By the time his buddy got out of court and came over, we were already on our next round and were on the couch with me on top. The door crashes open and of course there was no hiding what was happening. His buddy says, "I guess I can call your mom and tell her you are fine". Carry on!
Secretly, I wish one of them would have told the old bat what was really happening.
 

LisaMarie

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i was rolling in dog shit the whole time.....


FCK ..
reminds me of a male fck over my New Yamaha 650, mixed with Dog Shit on trainers, somehow
well it was 3 odd in the am, side of the road, in a dark roadside rest area haha
(actually think it was Human shit tbh)

OMG
i feel a little nauseous re-thinking of it now hah
GOOD fck tho and early am sunrise tripping ride home ahhhhhh ....


and here i was proudly bypassing this thread with nary a nasty sexual experience, me thoughts?



LMAO rb!! You are funny :)
 

simbablk

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My most embarrassing: shooting my load quickly when losing my virginity. And, she wasn't a very attractive young woman either. So I was ridiculed for not only being unable to last long, but having sex with one of the least attractive girls on the trip. Sigh.

Simba
 

RideRocket

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This didn't exactly happen to me, but to my girlfriend. She was out of town so we decided to skype for the evening. We'd both had a couple of drinks, and her being a lightweight, it was affecting her much more. Next we start talking dirty and positioning the computer camera so we can watch each other masturbate. After a while I came, but noticed she hadn't, and was quiet. The only noise I heard was her vibrator humming and buzzing away inside her as she had passed out! I shouted a few times to try and get her attention but she was out cold. So for the next couple of hours as I tried to sleep all I heard was the 'buzz buzz' of her vibrator lodged in her pussy! She finally woke up, but by then had killed the batteries.
 

D_22

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This didn't exactly happen to me, but to my girlfriend. She was out of town so we decided to skype for the evening. We'd both had a couple of drinks, and her being a lightweight, it was affecting her much more. Next we start talking dirty and positioning the computer camera so we can watch each other masturbate. After a while I came, but noticed she hadn't, and was quiet. The only noise I heard was her vibrator humming and buzzing away inside her as she had passed out! I shouted a few times to try and get her attention but she was out cold. So for the next couple of hours as I tried to sleep all I heard was the 'buzz buzz' of her vibrator lodged in her pussy! She finally woke up, but by then had killed the batteries.

Haha. That's some funny crap.
 

bumrubber

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When I was about 20 my girlfriend and I were having sex in her bedroom at her parents' house. We were going at it hard and she was getting pretty vocal. In walks her mom who thought she was crying and came in to see if she was OK. So here I am with her legs over my shoulders, both of us dripping with sweat... Anyway she pushed me off her and ran into the bathroom, locked the door and wouldn't come out for like three hours, she was so embarrassed. I'm left kneeling on the bed in front of her mom, with my big dick sticking straight out. The sheet was on the other side of the room where the mom was, and I couldn't pull my pants on because my dick was still hard and wouldn't go down, so I had to manhandle it in there, right in front of the mom, who couldn't keep from looking.

The mom was actually really cool about it. She liked me a lot compared to other guys my girlfriend had been dating, and kept encouraging me go go visit her at school -- maybe if I rang her bell hard enough, she'd stick with me instead!

But that was a very embarrassing afternoon.