What's your problem with dating?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Principessa, Dec 3, 2009.

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What's Your Problem With Dating?

Poll closed Dec 23, 2009.
  1. Too clingy

    1 vote(s)
    3.3%
  2. Too selective

    8 vote(s)
    26.7%
  3. Commitment Issues

    5 vote(s)
    16.7%
  4. Socially lazy/Don't go out enough

    10 vote(s)
    33.3%
  5. Trust issues

    5 vote(s)
    16.7%
  6. All of the above

    5 vote(s)
    16.7%
  7. Other

    11 vote(s)
    36.7%
  1. Principessa

    Gold Member

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    What's your problem with dating?

    I have had men and women tell me I am way too picky. I'm sorry but since when is a high school diploma and teeth too picky. :261: I think I might be clingy, but that's only because I have been cheated on in the past and have trust issues. :redface: When I was in a relationship with an honest and good man I wasn't clingy.

    As for being socially lazy, I don't think that's an apt description in my case. It's more a fear of going places by myself, where I would be likely to meet men. In New Jersey and Massachusetts for some reason I felt safer going skiing, biking, hiking or even to the corner bar by myself than I do here in Georgia.

    As for commitment issues I'm all about commitment. I love relationships, it's that initial dating process I suck at. I mean think about it, a first date is like a job interview with someone who may or may not want to fuck you and you get to eat while obsessing about this. :yikes: No pressure there. I'm sure I act completely normal on a first date. . . NOT! If my introverted weirdness doesn't freak him out I'm sure the lettuce in my teeth will. :rolleyes:
     
    #1 Principessa, Dec 3, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2009
  2. D_Ukraine_Muhdik

    D_Ukraine_Muhdik Account Disabled

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    I don't really talk to people my own age, I can talk to adults, but talking to college age people, IDK i can't seem to open up.
     
  3. D_Sibbelah Largeankles

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    There is nothing wrong with having standards or being "picky."

    Socially lazy, I guess. I was in a relationship for a long time and when I broke it off, I didn't know where to meet men. I don't drink so bars weren't the best place for me (I also didn't want to go alone). My job didn't expose me to many eligible bachelors. My friends have very few single friends to introduce me to (ones that would fit my standards anyways). I was at a loss. So I tried an online dating service. It worked out really, really well for me.
     
  4. Mr. Snakey

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    I don't have a problem with dating. I don't date. It's like when i had a drinking problem. The only time it was a problem is when i couldn't find a drink.:biggrin1:
     
  5. Principessa

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    Okay, uhmm so which dating service, and why are you here? :confused:
     
  6. D_Sibbelah Largeankles

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    I tried eHarmony for a month, but felt it was sort of limiting. So I moved to match.com. I was on match for three months, but cancelled my membership after finding my current boyfriend.

    And why am I here. If you're referring to the site, I found it while doing some research and liked what I saw. If you're referring to the thread, I didn't see the poll when I first posted my response..I thought it was a more general relationship talk thread :redface: I edited it to include Socially Lazy after I saw the poll. Because that was my hangup.
     
  7. pitloverfl

    pitloverfl New Member

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    I haven't dated in, gosh over three years, but when I did my biggest problem was not really wanting to go to the places where most young gay guys go to meet other single people. I don't think this was out of laziness or not wanting to put myself out there. I'm just more of a small, casual group kind of guy. Clubs and bars can be fun for me, but only in small doses.

    I usually contented myself with meeting men through friends, at work, at school, etc. It always worked out pretty well for me, but I probably missed out in some ways, not so much in others. Looking back, I'd do it the same way over again. If and when I ever end up dating again, who knows how I will feel about things.
     
  8. whatireallywant

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    I picked Socially Lazy/Don't get out enough, Trust issues, and Other.

    Socially lazy/don't get out enough - Actually, right now I can't because of work and the class I'm taking, and lack of money. When I had more money I actually did go out and have a social life, but I'm very shy and hard to get to know (and some/most? of that stems from what I'll describe under "Other")

    Trust issues - I've had a hard time not just in dating but in even making friends, because I've known so many people who will pretend to be your friend one minute and stab you in the back the next. :mad:

    Other - My views are unconventional, especially in the places I've lived. And I have this insistence that anyone I date agree with my political views because I hate to argue. So that means I don't date much, or if I date, it's not for very long because of the political differences (and sometimes religious differences - I'm willing to date guys of different religions but I don't want to date a fundamentalist, and I've known MOSTLY fundamentalists...) One of the reasons I'm as shy as I am is because I've encountered so much hostility for my political and to a lesser extent, religious views. (And the few people I've known who do agree with my views have ALSO encountered a lot of hostility from other people as well...) I also often have a hard time expressing my interests, although this is becoming less of an issue now. It's not so much hostility I get here (although it HAS happened) but just the conversation comes to an abrupt stop when the person I'm talking to hates what I like (As for them liking stuff I hate, that doesn't really bring the conversation to an abrupt stop so much anymore, but it used to.)
     
  9. blg3floor3

    blg3floor3 New Member

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    I don't consider it a problem because it's a deliberate choice, but I suppose the best option is "too selective". It's because I don't date casually. I fuck casually, abso-fucking-goddamn-lutely, sign me up for that shit. All there has to be is enough of a spark to want to fuck each other, that's it.

    But for dating, it's all or nothing. Either this is the person that is going to be IT, or they're not. There is no middle ground. Either this girl is the one I can see myself spending the rest of my life with, or she isn't. Either we have enough in common for a serious, lasting, long-term relationship, or we don't. I really don't see the point otherwise. None of this "omg, you're cute, funny, and new and interesting, let's date and be bf/gf for a few weeks until the newness wears off and we aren't interested in each other anymore, yay, tee hee!" stuff. But that's just me, and everyone is different.
     
    #9 blg3floor3, Dec 3, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2009
  10. Pendlum

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    I picked socially lazy/don't get out much because it is perfect imo, and I picked other as well to encompass anything I am unaware of that is a dating ward, not counting the newt I keep in my pocket to ward off evil spirits! Besides, the ladies love it.

    I rarely meet women. I'm not even sure who the last women I met really was, or when. It was probably like a year ago though. I don't have many friends, and they don't try to hook me up with anyone (thankfully). I often don't click with my friends' friends, and I don't put any effort to develop a relationship if nothing clicks. And if it does click, which is rare, they are always dating someone, usually long term. I don't like being 'that guy' the boyfriend may worry about stealing his girl away. It doesn't happen often though. When I do try to get a relationship going it often feels very one sided, so I drop it, because I don't want to waste time or affection for someone who isn't interested.
     
  11. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I live in a gay desert.
     
  12. Pendlum

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    Date a gay cactus? Make sure he shaves.
     
  13. _avg_

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    My 'problem with dating' is "other" -- for me, the whole process of dating is very predatory and degrading, reducing people to just another consumer product to be shopped and picked-over.

    My 'dating problem' is best described by "social laziness" -- I don't have a car or any disposable income; I'm rarely in a position to meet new people and even then I'm just too insecure to actually do it; and if by some miracle I do talk to some woman I'm clueless as to the 'clues' women use to signal interest.

    So yeah, I've been alone a looong time (3+ years now)...
     
  14. Lex

    Lex
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    You do and should move as soon as you are able to do so.
     
  15. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    That lex insists he gets to poke booty in return. I have a problem with that.
     
  16. B_quietguy

    B_quietguy New Member

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    If you ever want to try online dating sites again, I suggest OkCupid.com. They are far better than any others. OkCupid has the neat matching algorithm that tells you how compatible you are with others if you answer a bunch of questions.
     
  17. Pendlum

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    They all use an algorithm to match you based on your answers.
     
  18. Ganieda

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    I picked All of the Above and Other.

    I'm too socially lazy to go out and meet people. When I do go out, there is usually noone around who would want a girl like me. Sometimes guys will want me, I don't want them because I am very picky with guys. When I'm in a "seeing someone" situaltion, I am way too clingy and that normally turns men away. I am even too clingy with online relationships. I have commitment and trust issues. I don't know where they stem from (actually, I think I do), but I can't just give my heart to anyone.

    Gosh.. I could go on and on....
     
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