What's Your Thoughts On Unprotected (bareback) Sex With Someone Who Is Hiv +

Northerner2023

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As a gay guy myself I'm very interested to see what other guys opinions are on having unprotected sex (I dont mean prep). Its seems ever so more popular now seem to engage in unprotected sex now that prep is more available and it seems many are just fully relying on prep and not even bothering with a condom. This is something I have been looking into for a while and still cant get my head around why so may are seemingly wreckless with their health. Recently both the World Health Organization and the CDC reported on the vast increase untreatable gonorrhea particularly In gay men. I also found a plethora of guys on hook up sites like fabguys who are almost proud and glamorising having unprotected sex even though they are HIV +. Although many report to be undetectable is it worth the risk? Also for anyone who is a bottom what is this fascination with being "bred" when almost all men who do bottom report they dont feel anything anyway when being "bred" so why take a life changing risk, and finally would you have unprotected sex with someone HIV + who is on prep?
 

SlipShop

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(Note.)

Years ago there were drugs for infections (etc) and there was no help for those who were HIV Pos.

Now there're drugs against becoming HIV Pos (for HIV Neg people only) but resistance against antibiotics mean infections could kill/blight more lives, than HIV/AIDS, in the future.
 

halcyondays

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I've never topped or been topped without a condom and have no plans to change that strategy. It's not worth the risk. I knew too many who died in the epidemic back in the 80s & 90s. Every year or two I hear another name of someone who didn't make it.

No glove no love. :broken_heart: :cool:
 

Northerner2023

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I've never topped or been topped without a condom and have no plans to change that strategy. It's not worth the risk. I knew too many who died in the epidemic back in the 80s & 90s. Every year or two I hear another name of someone who didn't make it.

No glove no love. :broken_heart: :cool:

I'm so glad someone else has the same mentality as me I'm only 30 so that was before my time, however Im seeing alot of people mid 20s to late 30s with HIV now and it shocks me that we learned nothing from the past. Thanks so much for sharing your story Mr
 

Sagittarius84

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(Disclaimer: straight man). 1st and foremost I think men in general are prone to risky sexual behaviors when weighed against opportunity. Im sure for every top or bottom that hooks up with a HIV+ partner there's 10 straight guys hitting every single mark of the floor exercise as they go through the mental gymnastics of knowingly hooking up with a woman infected with all manner of STDs.
I think there are other underlying motivations as well, especially considering how HIV and AIDS were and sometimes still are categorized as specifically gay men's diseases...i could see a rebellious counterculture stemming from that that would drive disenfranchised men to lean into the stereotype in some sort of "reclamation" effort. Maybe other stuff too..but i think opportunism overriding selectivity is the primary culprit.
 

njfellow2002

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Coming up in NYC in the 80's...AIDS was a huge daily reminder to be careful. To this day, sex without a condom feels 'un natural' to me... I won't do it. I don't care what I might be "missing'---because nothing (to me) could feel worse than a visit to the doctor and find I've contracted an STD---a totally preventable disease--if I only used a condom. ....and even worse to find I'd passed it on to someone that trusted me. NOT WORTH IT.
 

Northerner2023

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(Disclaimer: straight man). 1st and foremost I think men in general are prone to risky sexual behaviors when weighed against opportunity. Im sure for every top or bottom that hooks up with a HIV+ partner there's 10 straight guys hitting every single mark of the floor exercise as they go through the mental gymnastics of knowingly hooking up with a woman infected with all manner of STDs.
I think there are other underlying motivations as well, especially considering how HIV and AIDS were and sometimes still are categorized as specifically gay men's diseases...i could see a rebellious counterculture stemming from that that would drive disenfranchised men to lean into the stereotype in some sort of "reclamation" effort. Maybe other stuff too..but i think opportunism overriding selectivity is the primary culprit.
I feel your totally missing the point....
 

Sagittarius84

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I feel your totally missing the point....
Then please enlighten me. Im not gay so I cant speak to what would make a gay man specifically seek such things or engage in such behaviors...but i dont think it's a trend too unlike straight men in the total disdain for safety in the wake of opportunity.
 

DiamondJoe

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Then please enlighten me. Im not gay so I cant speak to what would make a gay man specifically seek such things or engage in such behaviors...but i dont think it's a trend too unlike straight men in the total disdain for safety in the wake of opportunity.
It's pretty grim and nihilistic but the answers you seek are in here:

Bugchasing - Wikipedia
 
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Northerner2023

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It's pretty grim and nihilistic but the answers you seek are in here:

Bugchasing - Wikipedia
That's definitely one part of it but also I think people just dont care about their health as much in the gay community in terms of STIs. Its rather ironic when you think vanity plays a big role invthe gay scene and obsessed with there bodies and appearance and taking care of their appreance but dont care when they get fucked bare by a different group of lads on a weekend..
 
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DiamondJoe

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That's definitely one part of it but also I think people just dont care about their health as much in the gay community in terms of STIs. Its rather ironic when you think vanity plays a big role invthe gay scene and obsessed with there bodies and appearance and taking care of their appreance but dont care when they get fucked bare by a different group of lads on a weekend..
Then I'd say your view is narrow and ill-informed, playing on gay stereotypes.

Apropos:
Degenerates??
 

Sagittarius84

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I am aware of the "bugchasing" phenomenon. I still dont see how that isnt in lockstep with men's risky sexual behaviors in general, except for the degree of consequence.
That's definitely one part of it but also I think people just dont care about their health as much in the gay community in terms of STIs. Its rather ironic when you think vanity plays a big role invthe gay scene and obsessed with there bodies and appearance and taking care of their appreance but dont care when they get fucked bare by a different group of lads on a weekend..
I don't see homosexual women having the same level of issues, nonchalance about STIs, nor vanity problems as gay men(but you do see it in straight men quite prominently), which tells me this is more of an inherent behavior problem for men in general, that happens to come with a more horrific set of consequences with the genre of gayness.
 

malakos

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malakos

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I am aware of the "bugchasing" phenomenon. I still dont see how that isnt in lockstep with men's risky sexual behaviors in general, except for the degree of consequence.

There is a huge psychological difference between:

A) conveniently ignoring awareness of risk so as to enable seeking more easy pleasure, and

B) actually deliberately seeking out harms, as to experience some sort of catharsis from not having to deal with the anxiety of the risk any longer (there is even more going on with bugchasing, but this is the first layer of it)

You seem to imagine it being in the same class as negligent hedonism, but it's not like that at all.
 

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Come on guys, educate yourselves and support your community. If a person is HIV+ and on medication they are what is called undetectable. Undetectable means you cannot transmit the virus. You can have unprotected sex with a person who is HIV+ as long as they are on medication and their viral load is under control (undetectable). If you’re not sure then use protection or prep to protect yourself.
 
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cock searcher

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There is a huge psychological difference between:

A) conveniently ignoring awareness of risk so as to enable seeking more easy pleasure, and

B) actually deliberately seeking out harms, as to experience some sort of catharsis from not having to deal with the anxiety of the risk any longer (there is even more going on with bugchasing, but this is the first layer of it)

You seem to imagine it being in the same class as negligent hedonism, but it's not like that at all.
Bug chasing is different because they’re actively trying to catch the virus. I can’t understand this.
A HIV+ person should not be having unprotected sex unless they are undetectable. undetectable = no risk of transmitting. If someone with HIV is knowingly infecting others by not being in control of their viral load though medication then you can go to prison for GBH
 
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malakos

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Come on guys, educate yourselves and support your community. If a person is HIV+ and on medication they are what is called undetectable. Undetectable means you cannot transmit the virus. You can have unprotected sex with a person who is HIV+ as long as they are on medication and their viral load is under control (undetectable). If you’re not sure then use protection or prep to protect yourself.

That's fine in theory. In reality, it only makes sense to take the undetectable line seriously to the point of engaging in unprotected sex with an HIV positive person if one knows said person very well, and has observed over time him/her consistently keeping up with his/her drug regimen. Most sexually active people don't know most of those they hookup with well enough to be able to say they can trust assertions of an undetectable viral load. So the point you're making only applies to a really slim slice of scenarios.

Further, and I don't want to point fingers, because I know you may not realize this, but promoting this message of "unprotected sex is fine as long as he/she is undetectable" is actually very damaging, because most people are not going to understand what is involved in knowing what precisely it means, how one becomes undetectable, how one knows one is undetectable, how one can maintain that status, and how others can confirm it to be the case. So, many are just going to pick up the "bb is fine if the guy/gal is undetectable", and go along with hooking up on the basis of a bare claim to that status.
 

cock searcher

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That's fine in theory. In reality, it only makes sense to take the undetectable line seriously to the point of engaging in unprotected sex with an HIV positive person if one knows said person very well, and has observed over time him/her consistently keeping up with his/her drug regimen. Most sexually active people don't know most of those they hookup with well enough to be able to say they can trust assertions of an undetectable viral load. So the point you're making only applies to a really slim slice of scenarios.

Further, and I don't want to point fingers, because I know you may not realize this, but promoting this message of "unprotected sex is fine as long as he/she is undetectable" is actually very damaging, because most people are not going to understand what is involved in knowing what precisely it means, how one becomes undetectable, how one knows one is undetectable, how one can maintain that status, and how others can confirm it to be the case. So, many are just going to pick up the "bb is fine if the guy/gal is undetectable", and go along with hooking up on the basis of a bare claim to that status.
In that case then If you want unprotected sex take prep