Every couple is different. I dated one girl who I could reach back and pull her hair. Her pupils would dilate and she'd bare her teeth, like an animal. When I let go, she'd shake her hair and give a frustrated grunt. The harder I pulled, the harder she'd pull back and the more she liked it. Another woman could be furious and if I picked her up (reach under her butt, with both arms and hold her to me and stand up), she'd smack me once or twice, resist/push back... and then just melt into my arms and she was a different person. The downside to that was that her getting angry became a turn on for me, because it always turned to sex, right away. Never really solved any of our issues, either, but it made them not seem so bad. What do you do that is an instant turn on, with your mate?