When Did You Come Out to Yourself?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by jason_els, Jul 17, 2008.

  1. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I'ma askin'.:biggrin1:

    It's not when you realized you were gay or bi, the question means when you accepted it within yourself and what caused you to finally be at peace with yourself?
     
  2. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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    For me personally I always knew I was gay ever since I could recall. When I was too young to comprehend what it was, I knew I felt different. I believe I was about 12 when it clicked in my head and I realised what this "different feeling" was. I was able to accept this quite quickly, there was no difficult scuffle with my emotions.
     
  3. MovingForward

    MovingForward Member

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    exactly what he said, but i knew something was different in elementary school. I had this fascination with staring at guys butts. While they were chasing the school girls trying to lift their skirt, I always wanted them to play with me. I did not realize until high school what my feelings actually meant. Then one day it clicked, then i remembered everthing from when i was younger and things made sense.
     
  4. 1BiGG1

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    My friends and I were blowing each other at age 7 (and continued until I moved at age 12). During these years I was also infatuated with one of my friend&#8217;s older brother and although nothing ever happened there, I knew I was gay but figured one day I would get a taste for chicks which never happened.

    Not that I didn&#8217;t try, my neighbors three granddaughters visited regularly and they loved making out, feeling each other up and hanging out. That was all fun at an early age curiosity-wise but it never led too sexual attraction. Same thing later in high school = I had a hot guy I spent most of my free time with because he was the epitome of my desires, chicks were cool for friends but that was it. I still figured one day I "might" grow out of it.

    The military followed high school and being surrounded by a smorgasbord of sailors and marines, fate that included never hooking up with a chick was clearly defined. This was by no means anything I had a &#8220;problem&#8221; with, it was just who I am.
     
    #4 1BiGG1, Jul 17, 2008
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2008
  5. tom water

    tom water Member

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    I knew I different since I was born, later I realize I was just gay
     
  6. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    What ages are you guys? The last three of you have no ages listed. I wonder if there's an age gap going on?
     
  7. invisibleman

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    I knew since I was 13 but I had come out after I graduated from college.
     
  8. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    What prevented you from coming out earlier? Was there internal conflict or external fear?
     
  9. thommo7

    thommo7 Member

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    Well- I have a different scenario- I'm only just coming out now... at age 25... after lots of reltionships with girls, I've jsut come to like guys more over the years- since about 20.
    I think it's always been there, but i never really went with it, wanted to, until now. With being gay, are all the difficulties of realising having a family of your own isn't such a strightforeward process- and the possibility thats it just wont happen is ominous- and not nice for me.
    I love kids, coming from a big family with many cousins, step bros and sisters of all ages, and having a family has always been something at the forefront of my mind, as direction for my life... and I still like the idea of having a relationship with one woman too- I can still fall in love with a woman, but just don't have the sexual attraction there...
    I still get confused with the spectrum of relationships- 'love'- and find that it's just best not to delve too deeply into it and jsut keep it simple and go with what feels good.
    I guess I've come to terms with the fact that family may or may not happen, but that it's STILL a possibility.
    Right now I'm focussing on a career that makes me happy, and when I'm there, I'm sure other things- priorities- will fall into place...
    It's a nice feeling to be 'out' though- def feels good :)
     
  10. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    You know what though? Be grateful that you're not my age and just realizing what you are now. Having fallen in love with one woman and two men, I think I'm just discovering that I may not ever love another woman again. It's frightening and confusing at the same time. It's also liberating in a way though I don't know that's truly any consolation.

    I am, however, extraordinarily happy that you can even think of having a child. This was something unheard of just a few short years ago. I hold out hope for I too love children, but at my age every day counts against that happening.
     
  11. killerb

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    don't be so sure...I actually have a much older cousin who never had any kids until the ripe old age of 72 :eek:...this was about 5 years ago & he had a set of twins with his much younger gf...
     
  12. Mem

    Mem
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    I think I've always pretty much accepted it. There was no particular age where I had that "eureka" moment.
     
  13. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    There is some consolation in that. My roomie in boarding school, Tom, had a father who was in his early 60s when he had my roommate. Tom always spoke of how great it was having a father who was so mellow and open. Tom was an "oops" baby. He had three older brothers, one of whom was in college when he was born. His mom was 42 when he was born. He's very much the youngest child in that he could juggle kitchen knives or play in traffic and his parents didn't bat an eye, yet they knew what they were doing. I always thought being a young father would be better but now I'm not so sure. There's something to be said for being wizend by time and perhaps that would give a child of mine some advantage. I thank karma I'm a man every day, for among many reasons, I don't have a biological clock ticking away. Still, I don't even have a boyfriend, much less anyone I'd consider to co-father or mother a child. I hope that will change.
     
  14. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    Perhaps I'm odd. I was attracted to women for quite some time though I had odd feelings for some boys or depictions of boys I couldn't quite put my finger on. I had Charlie's Angels posters and the quintessential Farrah Fawcett poster above my bed. It was all fine until I dug deep into my father's porno stash and found a Club magazine that had a picture of a guy with his dick out. That became my favorite porn right away. Lesbian pics bored me right away, single girl pics were marginally interesting, but anything with a guy in it snapped my cock to attention right away. Ahem...:redface:
     
  15. Mem

    Mem
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    :biggrin1: I had Farrah posters all over my room too. I guess I liked her beauty. I would be surprised if any straight guys had Farrah posters all over their walls.
     
  16. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    She was beautiful, wasn't she? She had a charm that went beyond mere physical attraction. I don't know what it was, but she had it. You wanted to like her.
     
  17. alex8.5

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    I was 28 when I was honest with myself that i was gay. Before that i still slept and dated women, but did not enjoy it.
     
  18. ballsaplenty2156

    ballsaplenty2156 New Member

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    Jason,
    What makes you think you might not ever love another woman? You will love who you come to love regardless of their sex. Don't feel that you have to put up boundaries to your feelings for another sex, because at this point in your life you are leaning more towards a male partner.
    Sexuality is very fluid for some people, you seem to be one of them. Embrace it as a gift and not as a barrier. You have the capacity to love many people, in many different ways.
    I'm not as mature as you are, but I'm determined not to limit my options at this point in my life. Yes, sometimes I feel conflicted; but I am mostly at peace with myself internally. I'm not out to my family or even many friends, but that is because my sexual relationships are personal and private. I don't wish to place a label on myself or have anyone else do that.
    If my parents were ever to ask me where I stand sexually, I would not lie, but until that time comes, I will continue to keep my life my own.
    Jase, don't pressure yourself into feeling that you have to make a choice or decide on your sexuality at any time in your life. Just get on with LIFE and continue to take the little used paths, as they are usually the most interesting.
     
  19. B_theOtherJJ

    B_theOtherJJ New Member

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    I guess I knew and accepted it while in the womb... I come from a family with a long gay populace on both sides. It was inevitable for me. No practice necessary.

    I just kicked that door open and flew out, and never looked back. I have been lucky in that respect, although at this time in my life, I have no family left. But the gay thing was never an issue for me.
     
  20. exwhyzee

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    Ugh, I'm still dealing with it, as I can, in stages. Its more of an effort than I will admit to, and that probably has something to do with my reoccuring Lone Wolf status.

    P.S. My buddies had Farrah posters on their walls. I didn't want her cluttering up my room.
     
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