When Did You Know You Were Gay?

richard21

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I can remember being attracted to men from quite a young age, maybe 7 or 8, before I even knew what gay meant, but it wasn't in a sexual way at that age. The sexual attraction started about 12 but I hoped it was just a phase and I would turn out "normal". I finally accepted that I must be gay at the age of 15.
 

hot-rod

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hrconsulttex said:
I had a lot of feelings of being very different from other kids in a way I really couldn't explain when I was in elementary school. I grew up in a very small town in a rural area, so I had no real exposure to gay people. I do remember hearing about it some on the news when I was about 9 or 10 as the AIDS epidemic was first making news. I didn't understand what the words "AIDS" or "homosexual" meant, but somehow deep inside I had this feeling that it somehow applied to me. As I got older, I never could understand why I didn't seem to have the feelings about girls that the other guys my age were experiencing and always talking about. At first I chalked it up to being a late bloomer, which I was. I started to question whether I might be gay when I was in high school when I noticed that I couldn't keep my eyes off the cuter guys in our school. I realized I looked at them the same way the girls did and it started to click. Unfortunately, it took many years before I was able to finally admit it to myself and learn to accept who I was. I finally started to come out when I was 24, and had my first relationship with another guy about a year later.

Had I grown up in a family that was less uptight about talking about sex, or in a larger, more liberal community, it probably would have been a lot easier. However, I did eventually grow to appreciate, and love this aspect of who I am, and am generally a pretty happy and comfortable guy. I'm still single, and while I'd love to have a life partner to come home to, and maybe adopt a child or two with him and raise a family, the fact that I don't have those things yet doesn't keep me up at night worrying about it. I have faith the right guy will come along at the right time. Until then, I'm just happy being me, and enjoying the relationships I have with friends, plus the occassional friend with benefits. And when I look at all the kids I grew up with that taunted and teased me because I was different and didn't fit in, I can't help but pity them. My life is so much more exciting, and rich, than so many of theirs. I moved on, while they mostly stayed in our hometown. I've traveled all over the world, have an incredible career, and have experienced so many things. I'm not sure I would have had all of that had I been a straight country boy like most of them (not that there's anything wrong with that). It's just that being gay was, in part, one of the things that kept me focused on school and getting myself to a better position in life.
Hey, I am from Houston too, grew up on the north side, born in '48. Your story is right on. I experienced the exact same life there. Don't want to be there anymore.
 
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I've always known that i had something for men, even before it was anything sexual. Im not sure how old i was, but i remember looking at the men in the showers at the swimming pool and thinking that was more interesting than the women i'd seen in the other changing rooms when i was with my mum. However as i got older and realised this wasn't what everybody thought and learnt what gay was it scared me. For ages i just tried to ignore it all together, i lost my virginity to a girls at 15 and really couldn't see what all the fuss was about. I then came round to the idea that perhaps i was bi, but probably still prefered girls. I had my first experience with another boy when i was 17 and that was amazing, but i still continued to tell myself that i was bi up until i was 20. I was going out with a girl at the time (isn't denial a scary thing?) when it occured to me that this was ridiculous: i liked gay porn, i dreamt about men and i didn't find sex with her arrousing at all anymore. I told her i was gay (and although it's not really something any girl wants to hear their boyfriend say we're now closer friends than we were when we were going out) then i told all my friends and finally my family, it all went really well, everyone has been supportive and i've never been happier. That was nearly 2 years ago, and i've not looked back really.
 

LDNDeepThroat

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Somewhere between conception and birth...

I have ALWAYS been obsessed with boys. Even as a very, very young child, all I ever wanted to do was see my boy friends naked. I came out to my parents when I was 12, and the general consensus was "Duh." They've always been supportive and amazing (and as big of a fag hag as my mother is, they'd better be!).
 

headbang8

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kank84 said:
I've always known that i had something for men, even before it was anything sexual....However as i got older and realised this wasn't what everybody thought and learnt what gay was it scared me. For ages i just tried to ignore it all together, i lost my virginity to a girls at 15 and really couldn't see what all the fuss was about. I then came round to the idea that perhaps i was bi, but probably still prefered girls. I had my first experience with another boy when i was 17 and that was amazing, but i still continued to tell myself that i was bi up until i was 20. I was going out with a girl at the time (isn't denial a scary thing?) when it occured to me that this was ridiculous: i liked gay porn, i dreamt about men and i didn't find sex with her arrousing at all anymore. I told her i was gay (and although it's not really something any girl wants to hear their boyfriend say we're now closer friends than we were when we were going out) then i told all my friends and finally my family, it all went really well, everyone has been supportive and i've never been happier. That was nearly 2 years ago, and i've not looked back really.

Same for me, except scratch 20 and make it 34. I was so emotionally confused about how people are supposed to relate to each other, that sexual confusion just seemed to be a part of it. I'm still mixed up.
 

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Interesting question--I hadn't thought much about it in a while. Thanks for bringing it up.

I remember assuming throughout puberty that I was just as straight as all my friends were. They would sneak me Playboys that they stole from their friends or their dads. I remember sitting in the bathroom, jerking off to this centerfold with nice tits, thinking "What am I supposed to be feeling?" It wasn't as exciting to look at as my friends made it sound. It was a bit puzzling to me, but I didn't think much of it.

Later in high school, a friend who had previously moved away came to stay at my house for a weekend. I remember one of those nights I really wanted to ask him to let me suck his dick. I never thought of it as a gay impulse. It was a matter of deep intimacy and maybe even longing for this friend. Alas, I never sought the opportunity.

I also remember admiring the jocks and the cocky guys in high school, but never thought of them sexually. It was the power of the internet when I first went to college that made me realize that I loved looking at naked men. I got depressed over it but eventually grew out of that. I'm much more OK with myself today than I ever have been before.

Even in college, I had some very powerful emotional attractions to certain women, but the attractions were rarely sexual (except in one case). I find that the right woman can still occasionally turn me on, so that is why I list my orientation the way I do in my profile.
 

SomeGuyOverThere

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I don't think I'm gay, but I worked out I was bisexual when I was about 17. I think I was denying it a lot before then. Basically I couldnt lie to myself about the series of minor crushes I had on guys at school anymore.

I really came to terms with it earlier this year and am far more comfortable with it now. But I havent "come out", I've told a few people online, but I don't know them in real life. I've shown increasing levels of open minded-ness to my friends, to ease the transition. If any of them asked me directly, I think I'd probably admit it now.
 

notsmallmatt

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i knew i liked guys when i was about 5 years old... i REALLY liked my friend Seth.. even though he was a complete a-hole to me.
oddly enough.. Seth and the rest of his little guy crew had an odd habit of locking themselves into his room, laying on the floor, and sucking each other off. i remember the first time they did it they were all like "come on matt! its fun! it tastes good!".. being only about 6 year old at the time.. i couldnt fathom why id want to drink their pee.. so i declined... i regretted that for QUITE A LONG TIME...
i remember one time we were left alone at his parents house.. and he took me into his parents room.. we jumped under the covers.. and he showed me his penis complete with pre-teen hardon(freaking huge) AND he let me play with it... then i showed him mine.. i started laughing cuz his penis was hard.. he started laughing cuz mine wasnt.. and of course it was before i hit puberty so it was still kinda small... but oh well.. i was more innocent then..

weird memories.
 

smoothrnb

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It was in high school for me. That's when I started to notice how handsome guys were and then to sneak peaks in the lockerroom. Wow! Those peaks gave me a lot of erotic dreams and jack-off material. My favorite athletes were wrestlers. They were well-built, not too muscular, and often showed their off their bodies in singlets, not to mention their packages! I think you can imagine the dreams I had....:biggrin1:
 

husky14620

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I've known since I was 4 or 5, but didn't know what to call it until I hit my teens.

I've also known I was a bottom from that age, but again, had no idea what I was feeling was called.

Husky
 

avotman1234

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I was in Navy at 17 and did not know I was gay. Never discovered it until after I married, age 21. Then, I was with a young guy and put my hand on his leg and discovered a big dick. But, I never thought I was gay because I liked pussy. And, now that I am older, I like men better. Chaz. Ohio.

It was so odd, because I saw naked guys all the time, when I was 17 to 20. Never thought about it, until 21!
 

joyboytoy79

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I KNEW i liked boys in preschool. Girls were pretty with their nifty hair and all, but boys had a special something about them that i liked. I remember asking my father (i haven't seen him since i was 8, so i know i was younger than that) if boys could marry other boys. He responded by slapping me across the face and muttering something about "faggots." I took that as a "no" and broke off my engagement with my friend Nick, he sobbed for weeks.

Once my dad was out of the picture tho, i went boy-crazy. I had a steady boyfriend at age 16, and my stepfather helped my mom get the picture that i was gay when i was 17 (there's a funny story in that, i'll share one day). Everyone other than my mom, including my teachers at school, just knew. Of course, ther were SOME issues with that... kids can be cruel you know.
 

BarebackJack

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I knew I was gay when I understood what the term "gay" meant. However I had boy crushes as far back as 1st grade (maybe earlier... but I don't remember that far back). I came out at 17. I am now 45, and I am still in touch with the man who I first came out to.
 

Chris123west

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i knew i was "something" when i was about 8 or 9, then, at about 12 when i learnt what "gay" was. i think it all just fell into place over the next couple of months. MY first experience was when i was about 13 or 14, and have since spent time, sexually, with girls, and am now sure that "that" is not for me.:biggrin1:

ps this is my FIRST ever post on here.
 

BARRRY

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I Can Just Remember An Encounter With A Boy Down The Street When I Was Around 7 Years Old. We Got Naked And Rolled Around In His Attic. And Then When I Was Around 17 Me An A Buddy Were Sitting Indian Style On His Lawn And His Balls Were Hanging Out And He Just Left Them There !! I Beat Off For A Long Time Thinking About The Rest Of The Package. I Have Never Had A Man But I Cant Get Off Looking At Anything But A Hot College Aged Dude.
 
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deleted3782

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Cool thread. Resurrection.

My earliest same-sex awareness was on the floor under the coffee table in the family room. I was probably 6 years old and drawing pictures on construction paper. My brother's best friend was visiting and watching tv. I remember drawing stick figures, and one stick figure's central stick extended just a little below where his legs angled off. I remember asking my brother's friend to duplicate the stick figure, and he drew one in which the stick appropriately ended at the legs. I corrected him say "you didn't draw it long enough!" and he smiled and gently put the paper down and went back to watching tv.

At 8 I kinda fell for my brother's girlfriend's little brother. He taught me a new word: dick. We just showed each other's equipment, and I liked that.

When I was 9, I started telling my older friends sexy stories and they would pull their dicks out and show me how excited my stories got them.

Then I founded a special club where the members had to rub dicks with me to join.

All down hill from there. Summer camp crushes, checking guys out in school showers, checking out my friends and their older brothers, discovering my friend's dad's Hustler magazines, discovering International Male magazines, perving over my math tutor, etc.

By high school, I was head over heels in love with my best friend. I've written about him lots of times on here. Nothing ever came of it...and I didn't allow myself the time to sort my feelings out. I had lots of crushes through college and after. I didn't seek out a same-sex experience until I was 28.
 

cocktaste

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I always knew. Probably even at 2 years old. I just didn't know the word for it. I always wanted to hang around the boys. All kids have puppy love experiences from a young age, and that's how it was with me.

I never thought that homosexuality was bad in anyway. I was moving into my teens in the 90s, and this was right around the time when homosexuality became more mainstream in the press. That helped a lot. I'm sure that if I grew up in the 60s or 50s and was having these same feelings, I probably would have felt shame, and would have been really messed up. I was a very sensitive child.