This going to sound kind of dumb, but it was actually when I joined here.
@AlphaMale is always telling me that I have a very low opinion of myself, and that includes a negative self image.
I actually always thought I was small. In locker rooms, to me, everyone looked bigger. When I started getting with girls, I didn't dare ask them about my size, and when they would tell me how great I felt, I just figured I was good, lol. Ya know the whole "It's not the size of the boat, but how you rock it" thing.
I had very little experience with guys and the few times I played, I would think "Man, I'm small, but they're really small". I got married, and my ex did NOT like it when I mentioned that I was Bi, so I never spoke of it, and didn't dare talk about cock size. While we were married, I never had any male / male contact, so I kinda forgot about my "size issue" After my divorce, I started playing a little more and started having intercourse. I was having problems staying hard during intercourse with condoms, and one day I started looking for causes on the internet.
Can't remember what I googled, but I ended up here. I ended up really liking it here, and got pretty involved, but always considered myself an admirer, rather than a "member". In fact, if you look back far enough, my very first ID here "wishiwashung". When I posted a few pics and showed on cam, I always thought that when people would tell me I was "big", it was empty compliments, just so I'd keep showing, lo.
I never, ever even entertained the idea of using Magnums, much less Magnum XL, but after seeing them discussed so much here, and a few people suggesting them, curiosity got the best of me and I got some, fully expecting it to be joke. I remember being embarrassed buying them imagining that the cashier was secretly thinking "Ya right, he doesn't need those". I got home and tried one on, and it actually fit. I still was thinking "this has to be too big, it'll just slip off. I jacked off and was surprised that it remained snug. I got brave and actually took one the next time I met up with a guy. I was finally able to stay hard and finish. I realized that regular condoms were too tight and were causing me to lose my erection.
I still really don't see myself as big, and AlphaMale will get onto me anytime I say something about wishing I was big. Logically, I know that I must have some size if Magnums fit me. I guess a negative self image is hard to shake.