When does something 'cross' the line between straight and gay?

[midlifebear]

Q: When does something cross the line between straight and gay?

A: When it wants to cross the road to the other side.

 

[B_Sweetcar]

Ha, good one midlife!!

 

[Smaccoms]

Q: When does something cross the line between straight and gay?

A: When it wants to cross the road to the other side.

haha, I did actually like this. It's fairly accurate as well. What matters is the perception of the individual; this can be described as a difference between sexual practices versus sexual orientation. It can also be described in a multitude of other ways. This is the beauty of life! The chance to explore and develop your own philosophies and judgements yea! :biggrin1:

 

[erratic]

Now, with all that said, I'm sure that labels, individual perception and cultural factors all play into this.....I know some guys from other cultures are much more 'free' about being close to other guys and behavior we'd consider 'crossing the line' is more normal there.

Okay, to be serious: Your point about cultural differences is precisely, exactly, nail-on-the-head why there end up being deep (and often heated) conversations on the internet about what makes something gay. "Gay" is not a thing in the real world. People of the same gender falling in love with (or fucking, or wanting to fuck or fall in love with) people of the same gender? That's totally normal and natural. It's a thing in the real world. Ideas like "gay" or "queer" or "straight" are things we've invented. They exist - like culture - entirely in our heads, but we play them out in the real world. These ideas are just simulacra - images of the natural order coloured and shaped by culture.

I can tell you from experience that being gay in Toronto is very different from being gay in any place in the US where I (or my friends) have been. Further, being gay and from a WASPy background in Toronto is very different than being gay and being from a French Canadian background in Toronto. Or any other background, for that matter. And being gay and under 50 is very different from being gay and over 50. Hell, what makes something "gay" can change from one set of friends to another.

My friends and I - straight, queer, male, female, and trans alike - hug. We just do. It's rude not to. But I've seen people on this very forum swear up and down that only homos and women hug. Someone I know spends much of his time in skimpy shorts and in full body contact with other men. But because he's a fighter it's not gay. One of my friends comes from an area of Pakistan where he says it's weird for men not to hold hands. In Toronto, men who hold hands do a lot more than that when they get home. A friend of mine is hetero - kids, wife, and all - and fucking loves musicals. I can't stand them...but I love the cock.

When something crosses the line between gay and straight is almost entirely culturally-bound - and even within one culture (as if it's even possible for a single culture to exist like an island, without any interaction with myriad other cultures) the rules are fraught with exceptions to the rule, the lines to be crossed are sometimes sharp and sometimes blurred to almost invisibility.

So it's a hard question you answered - quite possibly an impossible question to answer - because there are as many answers as there are people.

 

[B_Nia88]

when you are attracted to someone of the same sex.

 

[rob_just_rob]

The reasoning for the existence and use of labels is more complicated than people would like to think. It has to do with how psychology interacts with sociology when pertaining to homo sapiens. Interesting topic really.

Much confusion will run through peoples' heads yes. Much anger too. The general public becomes pissed at the pebble facing in the "wrong" direction, especially when the herd is racing head first into a stampede. Go figure.

What is the point of words, if not communication?

 

[Smaccoms]

What is the point of words, if not communication?

I'm afraid you're going to have to be descriptive. I do not know what you're asking and how it relates to what I said in the post you quoted.

 

[rob_just_rob]

I'm afraid you're going to have to be descriptive. I do not know what you're asking and how it relates to what I said in the post you quoted.

Q.E.D.

 

[chrisjason]

If I eat salad, I am a salad eater. I might also be a vegetarian, but one would never know unless I admit it or one observes a lot of meals.

Why is sex different than eating?

 

[B_Sweetcar]

Thanks Erratic for your comment. It's all very interesting for sure. Not quite sure how to word this, but maybe this is the most interesting aspect between any so called gay/straight dichotomy.

On the one hand, we need to consider a person's 'security' in their own sexuality. If someone is 'secure' that he's straight, then it doesn't matter if someone 'thinks' something he did was gay; his action was 'gay' in the preception of the viewer.

If someone, like me, is turned on and gets a thrill seeing another guy do something (like wrestling in underwear) then my perspective affects my viewpoint.

Guess it can be kind of confusing. Then of course we have to consider the viewpoint of our society or culture in general. Some people are more 'conditioned' by their culture and others are a bit more open and look beyond society and make decisions for themselves.

 

[erratic]

That's all very true, Sweetcar. People who are secure in their own identities are less likely to be worried about doing something that doesn't mesh with the cultural story of who they are, and less likely to be worried about what other people think of them. So yeah, you (or me for that matter) watching two guys wrestle may be a gay thing because of what we take from it, but it's not necessarily gay from someone else's perspective at all.

This stuff can get very confusing, like you said. No two people have exactly the same viewpoint on it (not in my experience, anyway) - and you're right: Some people are way more conditioned by their cultures than others. The scholarly research I've read on the matter suggests that the more "macho" (patriarchal, misogynistic) a culture one comes from, the more likely people are to adhere to strict stereotypes about gay and lesbian people.

 

[Smaccoms]

Q.E.D.

Urban Dictionary:

QED
Used by pseudo-intellectuals at the end of arguments. Means "PWN3D N00B" but they pretend it doesn't because they're trying really hard to be intelligent.
Mr. C: 2+2=4
PI: You are wrong QED
Mr. C: Based on what
PI: You're dumb QED
Mr. C: What?
PI: Haha I won the argument QED
Mr. C: ???????
PI: QED

 

[rob_just_rob]

Urban Dictionary:

QED
Used by pseudo-intellectuals at the end of arguments. Means "PWN3D N00B" but they pretend it doesn't because they're trying really hard to be intelligent.
Mr. C: 2+2=4
PI: You are wrong QED
Mr. C: Based on what
PI: You're dumb QED
Mr. C: What?
PI: Haha I won the argument QED
Mr. C: ???????
PI: QED

Whereas typing a phrase into urbandictionary.com and hitting "Search" is so very, very, clever, indicative of a mastery of rhetoric. Or it was, 10 years ago.

The fact that you missed the point, IS the point.

Bye.

 

[Smaccoms]

Whereas typing a phrase into urbandictionary.com and hitting "Search" is so very, very, clever, indicative of a mastery of rhetoric. Or it was, 10 years ago.

The fact that you missed the point, IS the point.

Bye.

I am on this site because I love debating and discussing sex and related topics. The fact that you come in and call me an idiot through your "rhetoric" or whatever is not constructive, and therefore takes away from my experience as a member of this site. Whatever your intelligence level, you are using it in a negative fashion, while ending them with happy smileys. What a great guy! :ugh1:

 

[erre]

i'm 100% straight.

sexuality is a really complex subject, and for each one, being straight or gay is a different thing.

i have never or would never kiss/fuck/jerk with/do anything sexual with a guy, for example, not because i think it's gay, but i'm just not really into that. but i don't think experimenting with someone makes you gay either.

i think if you're straight or gay is up to you, as long as you don't lie to yourself.

anyway, sorry if i'm not making much sense, but i've never wrote anything about it, especially in english.

 

[flawdatiger]

Yep!

What you're saying is the comments weren't meant for me, but a specific population of the LPSG community?

 

[ConanTheBarber]

i'm 100% straight.

sexuality is a really complex subject, and for each one, being straight or gay is a different thing.

i have never or would never kiss/fuck/jerk with/do anything sexual with a guy, for example, not because i think it's gay, but i'm just not really into that. but i don't think experimenting with someone makes you gay either.

i think if you're straight or gay is up to you, as long as you don't lie to yourself.

anyway, sorry if i'm not making much sense, but i've never wrote anything about it, especially in english.

Flawless English, erre.

 

[HorseHung40's]

I did not know that there was a clearly defined straight-gay border. That reminds me of a stupid, former colleague, who would say, "That is so gay". When she was asked what made something gay, she would look and shrug her shoulders.

She was a veritable Madame Curie.

 

[Smaccoms]

Sexuality today is like religion 500 years ago in Spain. A life or death question. Yet at the end of the day when all the political and cultural turmoil over it dies down.


No one really gives a fuck. Except for the ones who seriously give a fuck.


I mean, how people truly understand what a "New Christian" is, and why it was so important back then during the Spanish Inquisition??

Like, whatever...

 

[needtonut]

When you're home alone and decide to jerk watch porn and jerk off... the kind of porn you consistently choose usually determines which side of the line you're on.