When does the "bad boy" period end?

bigman79

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I know a girl that has had three “actual” boyfriends/relationships as well as a few casual fuckbuddy relationships. With the exception of her first boyfriend during her junior year of high school (close to a year, she was a virgin and was scared of getting pregnant, so never had sex) the guys have all been the “bad boy”, douche, asshole type.

She just turned 23 and I was wondering when is this going to end?

I am known to many as the “good guy” type that treats girls like a princess, etc. I’ve had two female friends’ parents basically tell their daughter they should pursue me, they never did. And the girl I am talking about in this post her family loves me. I just feel like the only reason nothing happens between us is the whole ‘bad boy” thing. Her own friend told me she just has a thing for douches.

I’ve been told by some girls that I’m just “too nice,” and one even went to say “you’re not the type of guy girls date, you’re the guy they marry”

The guys that she has been with have treated her like crap; she admits it but then always goes back to them. It’s the whole “treat a girl like dirt and she’ll stick to you like mud” situation.

Is this mentality of hers (going for the bad boys, etc) just going to continue until she wants to settle down, or until she “wakes up”, or what?
 

D_Fiona_Farvel

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Taking what you wrote as truth, even if she "wakes up" it doesn't mean she will ever want to be with you. Why not remain her friend, which is apparently all she's offering to you and use your "good guy" glory on someone who appreciates it.
 

bigman79

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Taking what you wrote as truth, even if she "wakes up" it doesn't mean she will ever want to be with you. Why not remain her friend, which is apparently all she's offering to you and use your "good guy" glory on someone who appreciates it.

Well to many people that know us there may have been times she was trying to give me a sign/signal, I'm just oblivious to it. It's not something that she does 100% of the times we hangout but there have been several missed signals.
 

Gisella

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I read somewhere that men really mature after age 35.

I guess the "bad boy" period starts to fade for most, after mid 30's and early 40's.

Hopefully, I guess.
 

Tactfulgal

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I think the bad boy thing is sometimes misunderstood. Girls like CONFIDENCE. Some girls like "bad boys" because there's a certain confidence that comes with being unconcerned with the rules. I think what most girls want is a guy who knows what he wants, knows how to get it, and can be a bad-ass when he has to be. Doesn't mean you can't be a nice guy too.
 
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Kotchanski

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I know, I'm going to sound like a complete bitch here, but... Am I the only one who read the above post as "I'm a good guy, when is it my turn to nail her?!"

Sorry OP, there is no answer we can give you. None of us deliberately go after assholes, we're attracted to particular traits, and if they happen to be found in that guy over there, and he happens to be an asshole, then so be it. Sometimes, our tastes change over time, but that doesn't happen on x or y birthday, we will each come to our own conclusions at a time that suits us.

I will tell you this, for what it's worth... I am yet to meet a single woman who has ever expressed a desire to be with anyone who would label themselves a good-guy. At least in my circles, those who label themselves as such are thought of as being either pathetic losers who hang around on the off chance of things going wrong and them getting a pity fuck, or manipulative assholes who hang around waiting to pray on us when we're at our lowest.

The above doesn't apply to me, I'm happily married and not attracted to other men in the slightest these days, so I've honestly given it no thought. I post merely to give you the perspective of those I hear talking, just in case any of it happens to be true for those you associate with.
 

Tactfulgal

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I am yet to meet a single woman who has ever expressed a desire to be with anyone who would label themselves a good-guy.

It seems to me that some guys think being a good guy means being passive out of respect for women, but this seems more like an excuse for not being assertive and risking rejection. What is attractive is CONFIDENCE. That's the bottom line.
 

EllieP

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I'm sorry, Bigman, but the girls are right. Confidence is sexy. There's a fine line between confidence and braggadocio, and those guys that pull it off will attract women. I like a man that respects me, but he has to show an interest in me before I'm interested in him. Shy, reserved fellows can make good friends. And the way that I read them that's as far as they want to go.