When guys deny confrontations of sexuality..

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by stickyboxers, Jul 9, 2010.

  1. stickyboxers

    stickyboxers New Member

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    So this has happened to me twice the other day now. I browse a man for man site (a4a) for sex frequently and saw a picture of a guy who looked familiar. I start messaging him and I eventually send him some pictures of me. That's when the conversation ended and he blocked me. I'm fairly certain it was an old co-worker of mine, but the kicker is we are both discreet and not out.

    This also happened before when I saw another person I knew from high school online, and when I told him who he was and who I was he stopped talking and acted like it never happened.

    I understand how someone might feel that the other person might say something, but usually if both people are in the same boat about not being out then they understand how each other feels and don't say anything. I guess I just get excited when it comes to potentially hooking up with guys I'm acquaintances with since it makes it more exciting.

    Has this happened to anyone through the internet or in real life, ending in success or failure?
     
  2. Florida Boy

    Gold Member

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    There are times and ways this could be a success. Most of the times it would be in person. When a person creates a persons, ie, on the web, it can be very shocking that the cover is blown. You are right it the gut reaction of denial it illogical. However, not much is logical with people, especially those that are insecure with themselves.
     
  3. DiscoBoy

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    I don't know if that's how these situations usually turn out. Granted, things probably happen often enough in the way you describe, but occurrences like these are pretty notorious for being the "outting factor". Word spreads fast. Imagine you had slept with him, casually mentioned it to a confidant(e) of yours, that also happened to be a mutual friend (naturally, you'd want to tell someone that would know who he is), and then said person went ahead and told another mutual friend-- and so on and so forth. Potentially life-ruining.

    Then you throw in a person's [ir]rational fear of that happening, and you can really understand why they'd block your ass, ASAP.:tongue:

    A gay friend of mine is constantly harassed through Facebook by this "straight" guy we went to school with. Think latino, thugged out "vato loco" (as he so loves to call himself) near-begging my queerer-than-rainbows friend to hook up. It's kinda funny. Anyway, that's been a faliure, I guess, haha.
     
  4. colday

    colday Member

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    I was in a chat room once for people in my state, someone IM'd me and asked me if my name was ?????, turned out I had too much info showing in my profile and he figued out who I was. I was not out to anyone. He and maybe his partner are only 2 of the maybe 3 people who actually know my sexual preference. He told me who he was and that he always thought I was gay. We are now really good friends but not once has he ever mentioned the chat room or the pics I had posted (nudes of me erect, my back side etc.) He and his partner are out but he told me then that he would never out me, so I can only trust him.
     
  5. closetbi

    closetbi New Member

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    I think a message explaining who you might be and the fact that you aren't open about it, discreet, etc, should precede the actual picture sending. I responded that way once when I responded to an ad and was sent a picture of someone that was too close to home, out, and although I would totally hook up with him, I totally know he would blow it up, not be discreet, etc. Hope this helps.
     
  6. surferboy

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    unfortunately, we live in a society where being gay is not as accepted as it should be, and, as such, people will deny others, as well as themselves, of they really are.
     
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