when is violence towards your partner OK?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by dolfette, Jun 6, 2011.

  1. dolfette

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    simple enough question.
    what would make it ok?
    violence could be anything from a thrown remote or slapped face, right through to beating them to death.
     
  2. B_RedDude

    B_RedDude New Member

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    only in absolutely necessary self-defense, and in proportion to the danger to you

     
  3. zdc00

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    I don't think you can ever justify violence, unless your own or someone else's life depends on it.

    You mention a thrown remote. It is up to you if you want to destroy your own property, but if you throw the remote at him/her, it has the potential to cause pain, or worse; I would say no.
    With the latter two, while slapping someone might be fine when both parties agree to it, be it for whatever reason, I don't see a reason to slap anyone with the purpose of violence.
    As for beating someone to death, no. You are going too far, no matter what that person has done.
     
  4. yoursgetsmine

    yoursgetsmine Member

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    Strange line of questioning.....................
     
  5. Incocknito

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    When they make your dinner and it's COLD!
     
  6. bwhip1011

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    When he steals your truck and company cell phone to go sleep with some woman. I wasn't violent towards him, but I destroyed his apartment. It really happened and we had each other arrested. He's not my partner anymore. :frown1:
     
  7. fun21

    fun21 New Member

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    Self defense, but usually the best option is to leave rather than continue with physical confrontation.

    Some rough sex could be fun to try as long as you both want to try it, but I don't think thats what your getting at, and I don't think it would be fun if you were violent.
     
  8. helgaleena

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    Only if it's part of play in the bedroom. Outside the bedroom it's liable to get you arrested, as bwhip says. Anger and violence are only quick fixes to problems. They are like slapping a bandaid on a partly severed limb. Brains are required, and anger short circuits your brains.
     
  9. JulieInNaplesFL

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    Kill or serious injure (life threading) one of my kids on purpose and see how much longer you live.
     
  10. helgaleena

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    Julie's right-- harm an offspring and instinct takes over, and the law and the brain are tossed in the back seat.
     
  11. D_Humper E Bogart

    D_Humper E Bogart New Member

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    Yeah, because anyone who could murder a child would "clearly" have trouble fighting a woman. I though guns were the great equaliser?

    I would not regard myself as the best moral authority since I see domestic violence as almost a spectator sport at best.
     
  12. Drifterwood

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    No. Zero tolerance from me. You are violent to a partner, they are not your partner.

    I have defended myself once, that was it, end of. I used to blame myself, she wanted me to, but I don't anymore.
     
  13. MickeyLee

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    in with Mr. Drifterwood.

    i can't find a reason where violence is an option. i'd like to think i would remove myself from the relationship before things deteriorated to the point of violence.

    i don't consider self-defense an act of violence or rage. a person is just trying to prevent harm or remove themselves from a threatening situation. the intent is preservation not hostility or malice.

    a person could cross the line from self-defense to violence if the confrontation went beyond the point of assuring your safety.

    but in general.. i'm not even comfortable with drawn out fights with a partner. anything important enough to have a drawn out misery over is probably a reason to rethink the relationship. if the issue isn't important enough to leave.. ya just got to get over it.. the respect/feelings for ya partner take president of over who should take the garbage out and weekend plans.
     
  14. nudeyorker

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    For me it's never acceptable unless it's self defense. And it's actually only self defense if you disable them long enough for you and/or offspring or others to escape.
    Sorry I spent too much time as a lawyer dealing with this and the how the law is written to change my mind.
     
  15. pomaz59

    pomaz59 Member

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    i agree
     
  16. uncutblond34

    uncutblond34 Member

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    Violence is NEVER appropriate, except in the case of self defense, and I agree that only in proportion to the danger you're in.
     
  17. rob_just_rob

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    When they've been replaced by a pod person or are turned into a zombie*.

    Otherwise, when they are inflicting or about to inflict an equivalent amount of violence on you and no safewords are involved.
















    * does not necessarily include religious conversions or conservative party membership.
     
  18. AlteredEgo

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    My husband claims I cracked him in the jaw once when he wouldn't stop tickling me. I don't have a clear memory of this, but I think he is right. I also think it is justified. Violence begets violence. I am willing to hurt ANYONE who will not stop tickling me after I have repeatedly asked. That includes my significant other. The laughter from tickling is a hysterical response. Why would you drive someone you like to a state of hysteria? Oh well. Fist to face. Deal with it.
     
  19. Iscream

    Iscream Active Member

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    Never. Period. The end. Unless she was pointing a gun at you.
     
  20. SJP85

    SJP85 New Member

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    Only in self-defence, or a slap in return for a slap.
     
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