when is violence towards your partner OK?

[hud01]

Never put absolutes until you are in it. I have only hit one woman. She came from a violent past and I told her not to use it on me. One night she got mad at me and cracked me on the side of my head so hard my ear rang and I saw stars. In pure reaction I gave her a forearm to her nose.

She never hit me again.

That was over 20 years ago. I have never done anything like that before or after, but I do not regret it at all.

 

[scottredleter]

only for self defense... and then only if its the last time you spend any time with them... ever

Or.... when its what you are both into sexually

 

[luka82]

You must cook the onions until translucent to soften them...they don't need to be carmelized (not that is hurts, of course.) And the only time I add a potato, Nudie, is if I burn the sauce because I believe it absorbs some of the good taste as well. If you start with good fresh or canned roma tomatoes, you should have no bitterness. And I add oregano (a must!) and never use cilantro unless I'm making chili (which starts with the same recipe.) Otherwise, your recipe is the same as what I learned from my mother and have cooked for more than (gasp!) 50 years. What has always amazed me is that this same basic recipe tastes so different when my aunts or siblings make it. One of the mysteries of cooking...

Oregano sounds nice, but somehow I always go for lots of basil and garlic when it comes to making anything with tomatoes. And thanks for your recipe
As far as the topic of this thread is concerned- I have never been hit in my life by any of my partners, I have hit one guy in pure reaction to the pain caused when he entered me. Well, he called me...again I was a virgin and he wasn`t gentle...
But, I have never had a desire to hit anyone nor do I like to be hit. So if a partner hit me, i`m not sure I would hit him back, but I`d just leave and NEVER come to him again, i`m 100% sure of that!

 

[D_Sam Rockswell]

Don't think its ok to ever use violence (unless of course you both are into that and even then there's safe words and a building of trust). And there are ways to keep yourself safe in the event that something like that does go down. On a side note though that Tomato Sauce sounds like a really good idea.

 

[InsaneJester]

in with Mr. Drifterwood.

i can't find a reason where violence is an option. i'd like to think i would remove myself from the relationship before things deteriorated to the point of violence.

i don't consider self-defense an act of violence or rage. a person is just trying to prevent harm or remove themselves from a threatening situation. the intent is preservation not hostility or malice.

a person could cross the line from self-defense to violence if the confrontation went beyond the point of assuring your safety.

but in general.. i'm not even comfortable with drawn out fights with a partner. anything important enough to have a drawn out misery over is probably a reason to rethink the relationship. if the issue isn't important enough to leave.. ya just got to get over it.. the respect/feelings for ya partner take president of over who should take the garbage out and weekend plans.

never, if they're your partner you've obviously decided you like them enough to continue being with them, so why would you want to be violent towards them? The two can't happen in the same relationship.

Even with an X i don't see a need for violence except perhaps the above mentioned stuff (self defense..)

 

[Kenyth]

Its never ok. Maybe unless it is part of consensual sex play that doesn't involve seriously harming the other?

 

[davidjh7]

I can only think of one possible case, and that is when you are defending your life. If your relationship has degraded to the point where one is trying to kill the other, then I don't think there is much of a relationship to be salvaged.

 

[helgaleena]

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