When She Approaches You First

Tattooed Goddess

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Oct 17, 2007
Posts
14,088
Media
70
Likes
20,563
Points
668
Location
United States
Verification
View
Sexuality
60% Straight, 40% Gay
Gender
Female
What do men think when a woman takes the initiative to ask them out? Do you prefer to be the one to bring it up? Because I've asked out half the guys I've dated I never thought how he might feel about it. Discuss.
 

Obelisk8

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Cammer
Joined
Aug 22, 2017
Posts
1,060
Media
219
Likes
14,322
Points
433
Location
United States
Verification
View
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Male
I don't have a lot of experience in this arena, but I'm very much comfortable with women taking the lead. I only want relationships on an equal footing, and a woman asking me out makes it clear that she's interested in not taking a back seat. On the other hand, if I'm the one bringing it up that's ok too, but I feel I have to be a bit more careful to make sure the relationship doesn't rely too much on my driving it. Fortunately, I tend to be attracted to pretty strong-willed women and so this isn't a problem!
 

Tattooed Goddess

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Oct 17, 2007
Posts
14,088
Media
70
Likes
20,563
Points
668
Location
United States
Verification
View
Sexuality
60% Straight, 40% Gay
Gender
Female
I'm not shy about it at all. I'll ask you certain questions or say "how does your significant other feel about that?" That's when they will let me know if they are available. I give compliments on appearance and intellect. Once his eyes glaze over. I go in for the kill. My success with it is why I continue to do it.
 

ronin001

Mythical Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Cammer
Joined
May 16, 2009
Posts
10,295
Media
54
Likes
47,046
Points
618
Location
New York (United States)
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Male
Hard to answer that question, because it depends on the circumstances and who makes the offer

I believe that anyone can go out with anyone platonically. I have attended dinners / weddings / functions with women who needed a date. I have gone to concerts / movies and events with women who have invited me. no problem. But if the offer / first move is an offer for a real date; or sex. I need to have some attraction / interest to the lady. .

But to answer the OP / M.R/ T.G If it were you asking the question, I would say heck yes, before you could say " would you like >>>"

:heart:
 

Leobakker

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Sep 15, 2018
Posts
635
Media
67
Likes
3,858
Points
413
Location
Netherlands
Verification
View
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
What do men think when a woman takes the initiative to ask them out? Do you prefer to be the one to bring it up? Because I've asked out half the guys I've dated I never thought how he might feel about it. Discuss.

Yes! Why not?!
No problem for me.
I would even feel honored, I think...
 

biefstuk

Experimental Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Posts
17
Media
0
Likes
12
Points
223
Gender
Male
I prefer it.

Whether it's a direct approach or an indirect approach, where the woman conveys in some way that she wants me to ask her out, it shows me a lot about her and how she feels about herself.

In my opinion, it takes a confident, self assured woman to put herself forward like that and those qualities are very attractive to me.

I've also found that they're much more likely to be honest and genuine by nature, which again is very attractive. I'm not into drama.

It also means I'll open up more quickly to her as, in most cases, women get many offers and she's chosen to decline those offers and pick me. No need for games, which I'm no good at and not interested in anyway, as the lines of communication are open from the start.

I know some guys don't like it because of the 'thrill of the chase'. For me that's a game I have no interest in playing. The thrill of love and sex beats the thrill of the chase any day.
 
5

554279

Guest
Depends completely on the whole person. I am fine with it and see no problem
 
  • Like
Reactions: ronin001

Tattooed Goddess

Worshipped Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Oct 17, 2007
Posts
14,088
Media
70
Likes
20,563
Points
668
Location
United States
Verification
View
Sexuality
60% Straight, 40% Gay
Gender
Female
Amending my previous reply: interest and pursuit is flattering and welcome; stalking and desperation is creepy af.

So guys have to deal with women being creepers?
 
1

1079855

Guest
There is such a thing as female creepers? I've been to as a refer a creeper. It's heart breaking.
 
1

1139089

Guest
I wished most women had more initiative actually. I guess I can use the word "most" here.

I love being asked out. I find it sexy, cool and it shows me the girl is confident.
 

insert_8

Legendary Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2011
Posts
753
Media
5
Likes
1,585
Points
188
Age
72
Location
St Louis (Missouri, United States)
Sexuality
90% Straight, 10% Gay
Gender
Male
What do men think when a woman takes the initiative to ask them out? Do you prefer to be the one to bring it up? Because I've asked out half the guys I've dated I never thought how he might feel about it. Discuss.
I have loved two women in my lifetime, including my wife of almost 45 years. In neither of those cases did I truly initiate the contact.
 

HorseHung40's

Worshipped Member
Joined
Aug 24, 2008
Posts
3,093
Media
0
Likes
21,439
Points
518
Location
Holland (Michigan, United States)
Sexuality
60% Gay, 40% Straight
Gender
Male
Like anything else, men will have a range of emotions on this from feeling flattered to emasculated. Reactions will be personal. I have been asked out by women while I was single, and, was flattered. Now that I am happily married, I state so if a woman starts becoming overly personal.