When sombody tells you they they have been raped, how do you think it happened?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by galaxus, Dec 13, 2008.

  1. galaxus

    galaxus Member

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    Trust me thread has a point. And i dont want to come off as an asshole, but the stuff that i'm gonna say is honest.

    Ok. So a friend lied to me about being raped.... and I'm pissed.

    Now, when i picture rape, i picture screaming, crying, and pain. I see punching and choking. To be more specific, I see a man's penis penetrating a woman, anywhere, without her permission.

    I'm angry that she led me to believe that what i described above happend to her but in reality it did not. 2 months after she told me that she'd been raped, she told me that she wasn't penetrated at all (we used that term). but later she said a finger was used a little bit.

    but if being press up against constitutes as rape then i should shut up right now. I know that what happened to her was horrible, BUT SHE SHOULDN'T CALL IT RAPE!

    I should say that this situation made me think.... I never thought about how many ways a person can be raped. rape can be totally painless and it doesn't have to involve a penis at all.

    If a finger was used "a little bit" to penetrate..... i guess that still is rape.... but i feel that just saying that she was raped overblows what she's been through compared to what actual rape victims like my cousin have been through.

    please tell me what u think..... am i wrong for thinking this way?
     
  2. marleyisalegend

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    I don't really understand what you're trying to say. How are you raped without penetration? Are you talking about sexual assault?
     
  3. hung_proper1978

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    Well for some reason the last three women I've dated have all claimed to be "raped".

    They didn't go into details but I find the odds of this happening to be outstanding. WTF?
     
  4. marleyisalegend

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    Maybe some of em were being overdramatic but rape does happen more often than some people think. Men are bastards.
     
  5. galaxus

    galaxus Member

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    Sexual Assault <----- i felt like she should have used that word.

    I wonder how many girls cry wolf... and i wonder how many girls are actually bitten.
     
  6. marleyisalegend

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    That's the discrepancy with rape cases, sometimes they are just crying wolf, some women are just crazy in that regard. Of the ones who are actually raped, some don't say anything at all.
     
  7. B_cigarbabe

    B_cigarbabe New Member

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    Yes you cannot know how she felt therefore you are wrong.
    You can be raped if a man is forcing you to allow him to stick his finger
    in your cunt,ass or mouth.
    Perhaps she might have explained or you might
    have asked her to tell you about it.
    Why should you be mad?
    If you feel that she lied to you and you don't believe it
    then discuss it with her.
    I say you don't know how she felt until you asked her.
    No it isn't the same circumstance as what happened to your cousin but did you automatically believe your cousin?
    If a women is telling you these types of things maybe she's uncomfortable being around you or feels like you might`try and harm her. Many women and men are raped every year. I suggest that you ask more questions about why they feel the need to tell you hung proper.
    cigarbabe:saevil:
     
    #7 B_cigarbabe, Dec 14, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2008
  8. StrictlyAvg

    StrictlyAvg Member

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    AFAIK from a LEGAL rather than a semantic POV rape is reserved for penetration, what you've described is sexual assault, which can cover pretty much any type of unwanted sexual contact.
    Being young your picture of rape didn't cover statutory rape, where the party concerned was willing but deemed legally unable to make that decision for whatever reason.
     
    #8 StrictlyAvg, Dec 14, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2008
  9. voyeuristic

    voyeuristic New Member

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    Rape, sexual assault - semantics, really. The point is that it's an unjustifiable violation of human dignity, regardless of what someone calls it.

    hung_proper - statistics show that one out of 3 or 4 women are raped, so it's not entirely out of the question that the last three women you've been with were part of that statistic.

    galaxus - unfortunately, a lot of people buy into the idea that rape is only something a stranger does, and brutally at that. The truth is that most rape is by someone the victim knows. If a woman is drunken and half-asleep and her sober friend takes full advantage of her powerlessness, that's every bit as much rape as if a woman's walking down a dark alley and gets attacked by a man in a balaclava.

    If someone says they've been raped or abused, you should give them the benefit of the doubt. 95 times out of a 100, they're telling the truth, and it hurts like hell to be the victim of a senseless violation of one's personhood and not have anyone actually believe you.
     
  10. diafano

    diafano Member

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    i think we need a womans opinion...
     
  11. marleyisalegend

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    What's the difference? Men are raped too, either way, the law covers everything from sexual harassment to assault to rape so it's already drawn out in black and white.

    Anywho, you already got one, cigarbabe posted.
     
  12. Principessa

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    Galaxus, If memory serves correct this is not the first time you have posted about this incident and the subsequent lie. I'm not sure why you are so upset since you weren't the one assaulted.

    Speaking as a woman who actually was raped much in the manner in which you describe I'm thinking a finger ain't jack. :yuck: She should try having a guys fist in her mouth so she can't scream and having a tooth knocked loose because of it. :mad: :12: I hate to be picky but what she suffered was a sexual assault not a rape. Not for nothing but, what kind of rapist fingers you first? :confused: I'm assuming she was able to fight him off so that nothing else occured. but still it does sound a tad bit odd.

    Was this before or after you dated them?

    Actually, rape, physical abuse, and sexual assault are the most common crimes committed on college campuses.
     
  13. marleyisalegend

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    In recent years the number of college-girl victims was 1 in 3. That means if you ride the bus to work and there are 10 college-age girls on the bus, chances are atleast 2 of them have experienced sexual assault or rape.

    I read an article that in Africa rape is committed every 30 seconds. Like I said, men are fucking monsters.
     
  14. galaxus

    galaxus Member

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    I automactically believed my friend too, but later she said she wasn't penetrated.... and we butted heads again and she said that she was. she couldn't get her story straight.

    and why would a woman tell me these things if they're uncomfortable around me? she wanted me know. i didn't interrogate her
     
  15. meerin

    meerin New Member

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    Rape is penetration of any orifice- mouth, vagina, anus- by any object. A finger counts as rape.
    I don't think you can really know what she went through. Just because you know someone who was violently raped doesn't mean what she went though was any less painful for her.
     
  16. galaxus

    galaxus Member

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    your right njq466. i did discuss this a few months back.

    i brought this up because I kept finding out girls that i know who were sexualy assaulted in some way since that inncident.

    It just upsets me how much we can hurt each other and how ignorant i am on things like this.
     
  17. vince

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    #17 vince, Dec 14, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2008
  18. HyperHulk

    HyperHulk New Member

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    Don't be shocked. 1 out of every 4 boys is sexually molested, 2 out of every 4 girls is sexually molested. That's just as children. Talk to women. I would say about 90% of women have been sexually assaulted or forced to perform a sex act that they did not want to do. I know few women who don't fall into one of those categories.

    The problem is that so many men think that it's supposed to be like the OP talked about--the screaming, crying forced full on sex. It doesn't have to be and often isn't. Digital penetration is sexual assault, it is rape. It is wrong. So many men excuse themselves because they think what they did wasn't that bad--it wasn't the monster rape you see in movies. We need to do a better job educating ourselves about these issues.
     
  19. ssongs

    ssongs Active Member

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    Not all men are monsters. You're a man too.

    That statistic reminds me of a little skit from Family Guy. I think Brian was going back to school and takes some sort of woman's rights class or something and they show a movie about rape. The host of the movie says something like, "Take a look and the man on your right. Now take a look at the man on your left. Statistics show that both of these men will rape you." Then it cuts to a woman in the class, sitting in between two men. One turns to her and says, "I won't rape you." And the other says, "I might." Anyway sorry to get off topic. All men are not monsters.
     
  20. marleyisalegend

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    No fucking shit, I didn't mean every single one, but I've given up on putting that disclaimer in my posts, anyone who exercises a modicum of cognitive thinking knows I don't mean "every single one."

    Really? Fo real real, not for play play?:rolleyes:
     
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