When Straight Guys go too far

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Pene_Negro_Grande, Jun 19, 2006.

  1. Pene_Negro_Grande

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2004
    Messages:
    1,100
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Right Next To You
    Okay just wanted to know when do you consider a straight guy going to far with another straight guy....I consider myself mostly straight and have a lot of straight guy friends who I hang out with every week alot....Most of these guys are considered pretty hot....My thing is until probably the last 4 years or 5 years- I really didn't hang out with a lot of guys....I guess I was pretty busy with my career and had regular girlfriends....But when I realize that I was not the relationship type, I started hanging out more and met some the best guys in the world....I know we are really close but sometimes I feel like I am getting hit on by them....For some strange reason I think I give off a bi vibe and I get comments from straight guys that they think I look pretty hot which I think of just a guy compliementing on the way I dress....But lately when we are out and the boys get a little drunk - the comments get a little more sexual (like wanting to see my package), grabbing my crotch or grabbing my arse, kissing my on the neck, cheek and forehead....I probably never act on it because I value friendship more and sex alway complicates things with friends....

    But I can't lie sometimes it turns me on and I have to leave the situation....I mean one of my friends who is probably the hottest guy in our group got drunk recently and while we we at a club he kind of followed me in a stall and pushed me up and leaned in at my ear and told me how sexy I was and made sure he brushed his crotch up against me so I know he was turned on....Can't lie it was hot but I kind of told him he was drunk and horny....You would never think that about him as many women as he gets....But lately I can tell he is getting curious about a male....I mean sometimes it can't be helped like when we have shared a girl at the same time....What is it with guys that hook up w/a lot of girls - those are the ones who hit on me....Funny thing is I rarely get approached by gay guys....

    But recently a bunch us went on a beach trip together and we all stayed at a beach house together and it is very common for us to sleep in the same bed and never think about it....I awoke to one of the guys who I consider very straight grabbing me between my legs in my sleep....At first I thought it was a dream but when felt myself getting a little aroused I kind of jumped up and he just rolled over like he was doing it in his sleep....Never mentioned anything about it afterwards....But it does make my kind of think that more straight guys are curious about hooking up with other guys....Funny thing is that until a recent one night stand ( I rarely drink and one night I broke my drinking rule), I haven't hooked up with a guy in almost 3 years....Luckily it was a casual acquintance and the weird thing is he asked my to have sex with his girlfriend while he watched as part of his birthday fantasy from her but soon found out he wanted some alone time with me....Feel bad because his girlfriend kind of told me that she knew he would try to get me alone and I was like it aint going to happen and he never gave me that indication (I mean I always knew him to have girlfriends)....2 weeks later I got a little drunk with him and his true intentions came out (literally)....Now I just avoid him because not really my style even though his girl knows about his bi-sexual encounters....
     
  2. D_Kirkhaus Komandohanger

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2005
    Messages:
    86
    Likes Received:
    0
    This isn't meant to be rude, but what exactly are you trying to tell us?
     
  3. dreamer20

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2006
    Messages:
    4,492
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    N.Providence
    IMO you have died and gone to gay heaven.


    Is that a watersports club?:confused:


    lol dreamer20
     
  4. basque9

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2006
    Messages:
    4,358
    Albums:
    14
    Likes Received:
    40,587
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Baltimore (MD, US)
    Dude it's OK to let other men admire you. If you appeal to lots of guys, then that's not so bad , is it ? What do you fear? Remain confident about your sexuality and go where the flow takes you ! :cool:
     
  5. findfirefox

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2005
    Messages:
    2,143
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Portland, OR
    Yes:cool:
     
  6. ackomack

    ackomack Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2005
    Messages:
    32
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Louisville
    Peno -

    There's definitely something not so straight about how some of your friends are acting, based on what you wrote. Sounds like several of them may be bi, or at least bi-curious... so how does that change things?

    I think you have a lot of soul-searching to do regarding how you want to respond to their advances... you said that you're intrigued and even turned on at some of their actions, so you need to consider what boundaries you will establish on your friendships and let your friends know what you consider appropriate or not.

    In my opinion, you have a perfect opportunity to experiment with some good friends who you really trust. It's obvious they want to experiment with you. If you're really not interested, so be it... just politely decline their advances and remind them that you wish to remain close platonic friends. If both of you can be mature and honest with each other about what exactly you are looking for, I don't see why a hookup would necessarily destroy your friendship.

    Ack
     
  7. Pene_Negro_Grande

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2004
    Messages:
    1,100
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Right Next To You
    You know that is what I think the appeal is for some of these guys because I am pretty confident with my sexaulity....
     
  8. Pene_Negro_Grande

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2004
    Messages:
    1,100
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Right Next To You
    Totally agree with you on a lot of things you say....That is the problem, I think I am past my experimenting stage....But I think some of my friends are just starting their experimental phase and are curious and are really comfortable with me....For the past 3 or so years all I have been really interested in hooking up with is women....But I do have one really good friend I consider like my best friend who I think we have been getting a little close and honestly I probably enjoy spending time with more than anyone else right now....
     
  9. Pene_Negro_Grande

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2004
    Messages:
    1,100
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Right Next To You
    That's funny, I think if we were gay, it would be lot easier....I think it is bi-curiousity because I think they all prefer women a little too much and are maybe a little to comfortable with their sexuality....Alot of time these guys do these things in front of their girls and even the girls kind of laugh it off....First time I have met that many guys that hang out together that are pretty comfortable being close to other guys....And it was a dance club....
     
  10. ruinean

    ruinean Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2006
    Messages:
    63
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Do your collective livers a favor and just do it till you either decide who is what, or get it out of your system. It is not as if you will grow a third eye in your forehead or something.
     
  11. dkmilker

    dkmilker Member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2006
    Messages:
    167
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Portland, OR
    Getting sexually involved with your buddies could really complicate your relationships with them. Maybe ruin the relationships. Proceed with caution. Finding them sexually attractive may be irrelevant when it comes to this decision.
     
  12. BBB2.5

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2005
    Messages:
    5,342
    Albums:
    6
    Likes Received:
    1,971
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta (GA, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Thank You sharing your honesty and integrity. I do believe that you are in control of your sexual being. If it was Okay for men to show and express how they really feel about each other, and not looked down upon, things would be different. I have noticed that there is a small percentage of the population changing their views on how they express themselves.
    Thanks to "drinking" we all tend to show our true self....:wink:
     
  13. playainda336

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2005
    Messages:
    2,000
    Albums:
    7
    Likes Received:
    1,213
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Greensboro (NC, US)
    Are you relating to the fact that you feel they may not be interested in you as a friend and just want you for your dong or something? Well, I wouldn't change how I treated them because if they're your friend, then they are your friend no matter what the situation. I could see how you'd feel uncomfortable about being with the one who tried to get you alone or what not, cause that seems more sexual than your friend or something. Your friends who make the sexual comments while drunk or prolly just drunk, but the one's who grope you at night, if you feel uncomfortable about it, you should confront them on it...cause yeah sex and friends just don't mix.
     
  14. B_Hung Muscle

    B_Hung Muscle New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2004
    Messages:
    3,174
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC but never stop traveling
    Not sure I agree with this. Maybe I'm just a huge freak, but a number of my best friends are guys I've hooked up with in the past. Tricks, fuckbuddies, whatever -- some of them turned out to be loyal and great friends.
     
  15. Mattness

    Mattness New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2004
    Messages:
    1,009
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Kirkland, WA (Outside of Seattle, Washington)
    I have the perfect solution. Get your best bud that seems "curious" and do a 3way with a girl who would get turned on by the two guys she's with getting it on as well. There's a lot of women who are turned on by two guys getting it on.

    Imagine the possibilities! One of you getting fucked while you fuck the girl...HOT! I've always wished I was Bi so I could get it on with both guys and girls, but alas...I only suck the cock.
     
  16. rawbone8

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2004
    Messages:
    2,864
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Toronto (ON, CA)
    it's likely your buddies feel they can trust you not to freak out on them, unlike a stranger, and that you will still accept them even if you turn down their advance
     
  17. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,455
    Likes Received:
    14
    To be honest i am thinking that you friends know you were/are bi and they are playing with you to se how you will react. Dare i say if you ever did decide to take one of them up on their seemingly obvious advances they would shit themselves instantly and not knoow what to do. So personally unless you like getting off on the whole situation id say try and end it or at least calm it down a little
     
  18. mnrocky

    mnrocky New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2006
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    minnesota
    That he's bisexual and wants permission to bone his friends?
    Str8 guys don't often sleep in the same bed after the age of 10, sorry....
     
  19. NiceDude

    NiceDude Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2006
    Messages:
    276
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    54
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Netherlands
    First and foremost: I am jealous, lol! I can't help thinking that these guys are really curious from what your story tells us, often you see guys hooking up with women all the time, trying very hard to be as straight as you can while all they really want is to get some cock. It almost seems they are trying to keep up a certain image untill the drinks get flowing, then the real deal comes out. How many have real genuine relationships with women? And are they happy in these relationships?
     
  20. Pene_Negro_Grande

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2004
    Messages:
    1,100
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Right Next To You
    We have hooked up with girls together (3somes/4somes) and there was a little touching but nothing too graphic w/the guys....Actually I think I am more comfortable with that....I consider myself a pretty open minded guy....I think I am working myself up to go farther....
     
Draft saved Draft deleted