When Things Go Really Wrong

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Imported, Mar 24, 2003.

  1. Imported

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    wristthickxl: Hi there...Haven't posted in a while and have hesitated to broach this subject but everything gets discussed here so...it is perhaps just a gay matter - though I would be interested in hearing from women and straight men too - and the faint of heart should turn to another topic...

    Despite all of the self-declared size queens in the world out there, many gay men see my thickness and refuse to engage in anal sex....I was always of the philosophy they were cowards, or could at least learn to like it, etc. etc. until a few years ago...

    One night, a guy had seen for a few weeks consented to anal sex. He was an experienced bottom and for one of the few times in my life we were really able to get into it...nothing like ramming with full force but more than the slow in and out I am lucky to get...Suffice it to say it was very pleasant...

    Until the next day when he called me from...the hospital...Seems he was torn up inside and had to undergo an operation...He was too reluctant to tell the doctor what had really happened...and the doctor - probably sensing the real reason - spared him the humiliation and told him this can happen if one has an unusually large bowel movement....I was freaked and felt terribly...

    Years before that, a guy I dated a short time bled almost every time we had sex even though I was very gentle...He told his doctor the truth and she said that very rarely, a penis is simply too big for anal sex, or at least anal sex with most people....

    You guys have any similar stories?? It's very troubling and nothing I've ever discussed with anyone....too ashamed....
     
  2. Imported

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    H8Monga: I hate to be mean, but I think you're done! Quit now!
     
  3. Imported

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    BIGBOYDAVE: well I'm 7" plus around and I rarely have that problem with most of the guys I have anal sex with yes there have been a few but most true bottoms never have a problem once I'm in I have explained my tenicque in other posts on the board just check out my posts click on my profile and read the posts its a ways back but there
     
  4. ericbear

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    From your Gaydar profile, we're comparable in size. I've had my share of unfortunate incidents, too. One factor for me is that, particularly when wearing a condom, I rarely stay fully hard anymore, so the girth is not at maximum. I'm not happy with this situation, but when I appologize to the bottom afterward for being only semi-hard, they often have no idea what I am talking about, as they got about all they could handle.

    Despite often not staying at full girth, I have caused some injuries that I regret. Sometimes I'm not really sure what happened, other than the fact that sex is clearly done and over at that point, and I've obvioulsy caused some injury. Other times, considerable blood has been clearly evident. And I've had guys tell me that for a week or more they have had "problems" down there, although nothing as dramatic as a hospital admission. Sometimes this happens even with guys that are experienced bottoms, and got a good look and feel of it before they decided to take it inside.

    I used to feel really bad about this sort of thing, and still do, particularly when it happens because the bottom is too eager to please me. The strange thing is that there actually seem to be some guys who want to be hurt this way, and even insist on coming back for more after they get wounded the first time.

    I've also had problems were the bottom thought he was adequately cleaned out, but where the girth apparently stimulated something unexpected, and things got very messy. Despite the embarrassment for both parties, I don't feel too bad about this, since no real harm is done, and usually laugh it off. ("Boy, don't move. Daddy really did fuck the shit out of you...")

    Rest assured that there are men who can comfortably handle you anally, if that's what you want. You just have to find them. The problem is that they may not be the same people you meet for other reasons. For example, I really enjoy fucking one guy who is into fisting, but it was pure chance that we met. He can take me with ease, and the fucking is a good warm-up for what follows. (Contrary to what some people think, not all fisting bottoms end up with absurdly stretched out holes. I know guys that can take half my arm one minute, and crush my cock like a vise the next.) I've been surprised at some of the guys that can take thick cocks, even ones considerably bigger than me, and found that the size of the person, in terms of height and weight, seems to have very little to do with what they can handle anally.

    But people are very different, and cover the range from not being able to take it in (or not even letting me try), to taking it in and wanting it immediately out, to those who want it out soon after we start, to those who should have asked me to stop but didn't, to those who took it but were sore afterwards, to ones who can take it with no problems.

    One thing you should do is have good comminication with your partner. Make sure it is understood that you don't want to hurt him, and if it hurts, he should tell you, rather than bearing it for your pleasure. Second, be sure you "warm up" and lubricate him properly. If it is someone I'm not experienced with, I make sure I can work in three fingers without forcing before attempting penetrate with my penis. The state of arrousal of the bottom also males a big difference. Sufficient foreplay may loosen him up, although I had one lover that tightened increasingly as he became more excited. (I was very rarely able to penetrate him, and half the time I did, he asked me to pull out immediately.) Then, there are some bottoms who swear by amyl (poppers) and insist this will open them up. I can't say if it really works or not, but I let them snort the stuff (as much as I can't stand it), and give it time to work. I figure even if they just think it works, it will help.

    As far as the masochistic ones, that seem to want their ass ripped open, I've learned not to get too upset anymore. If that's clearly what he wants, that's what Daddy will give him. I know it sounds callous, but it appears that's what they really do want. I have to admit there are some kinds of pain I like, too.

    There are some other issues to consider. You often may not be able to fuck until you cum. The bottom may not be able to take you comfortably for long enough. I've encountered a number of guys who cum very, very quickly when I enter them. (I think the record was three or four thrusts.) Again, they probably don't want you inside after that point. So, I've more or less gotten used to cumming in so other way than while fucking.
     
  5. Imported

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    gigantikok: You could undergo a penis reduction. I really don't know much about it, but there is a topic that covers it within this section. Might want to check it out. Penis size reduction is rare, but is still possible if anal sex is that much of a problem...becuase frankly, if you can't do anal, what else can ya do?
     
  6. Max

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    I think we need a straight version of this topic.  In other words, injuries to the vagina, cervix, etc.  I have posted elsewhere about my (fortunately limited!) experiences of this.

    Whether you are straight or gay, there is also of course the possibility of injury to the penis itself.
     
  7. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    [quote author=Max link=board=meetgreet;num=1048554433;start=0#5 date=03/24/03 at 22:13:35]I think we need a staight version of this topic.  [/quote]

    Straight people engage in anal sex, too ... or at least, some do. This could just as easily apply to a woman without translating her ass into a vagina.
     
  8. Imported

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    sammygirly: Yes very true, and this is a good topic - vaginal injury is covered quite extensively elsewhere - but the probability of seriously injuring your partner during anal sex is a topic i haven't seen....
     
  9. Imported

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    davegoodie: I am straight but have never been able to do anal sex with a woman because of my thickness. Having said that only three even thought they would try, the others said 'no way!'.
     
  10. txquis

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    i've posted very similar comments elsewhere.
    my girth is just a bit over 6.5 and
    i have had a few guys say "no"....and some
    who had some pain.

    Just me, but i dont get off on pain...
    i know that is a thing for some people and thats cool...just not me.
    i dont want me or my partner in pain.
    So...yeah, this can be a problem.
     
  11. ericbear

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    [quote author=gigantikok link=board=meetgreet;num=1048554433;start=0#4 date=03/24/03 at 21:09:53]...becuase frankly, if you can't do anal, what else can ya do?[/quote]

    I disagree. Many gay men have fully satisfying sex, but never do anal. Simply put, there is much more to sex than stuffing things in holes. Most of it happens between your ears, not your legs, and there are a lot of ways to get satisfaction.

    I've found that anal is something I tend to do (strictly as top) more with casual tricks than with lovers or steady boyfriends. (Given the risk factors, this is perhaps backwards from what it should be, but that's how it seems to have turned out.)

    I had one lover who claimed to be an experienced anal bottom, and loved to get "stuffed," as he put it. But whenever we tried, it ended in disaster. I'm not sure just what it was that I would prod when inside him, but he would inevitably bolt out of bed into the bathroom, and spend the next 45 minutes sitting on the toilet with bowel spasms. Despite the fact that he said he wanted anal, what REALLY got him off was just frotage. He would cuddle up next to me, and gently rub against my thigh. In just a few minutes, he would explode in a gut-wrenching orgasm, and consistently disgorge one of the most copious loads of thick cum that I've ever seen. Clearly, although he said he wanted to be fucked, it was really something else that did it for him. But, while sex was very satisfying for him, it didn't do too much for me.

    But, I had another boyfriend who was frightened to even think about penetration by me, much less try. He also was barely able to take me orally. Yet, whatever it was that he did, I had wonderful gratifying sex. I would explode in powerful orgasms, that left me feeling completely drained. I still remember one time when my cock was in his hand when I blew my load. Several shots of cum streamed up into his armpit, with such force that you could actually hear it gurgling and sloshing around in there after it hit. He gives me this look like "humans don't cum like that." But the truth was that's how he always got me off- this one just happened to hit a target.

    I had a lover for some years who, in his youth, had been legendary for his ability to be fucked repeatedly, and take really huge cocks with ease. Yet, as he had gotten older, he had pretty much gotten over the whole anal thing. With the exception of two times, when he was in a mood where by his own admission he wanted the stuffing pounded out of him, he was generally too tight to take me, and my persistent efforts often resulted in hurting him. So, I stopped trying. Yet, we both had a quite satisfying sex life without anal intercourse.

    So, as things have turned out, anal intercourse has not had a significant role with any lover or steady BF. But I do like to fuck, and usually end up doing it with casual tricks, or at the sex club. Perhaps with a trick there is less concern about it not working out, or even about hurting him. I'm a bit ashamed to notice that sometimes I even seem to fuck sadistically, which I find far from healthy. But I do get a certain dark pleasure when I find a guy at the sex club who is intending to get gang-banged, and I succeed in wearing him out single-handedly. Other times, it has become a sort of game to see how fast I can make them cum, and how many I can do. I don't find that healthy, either, and sometimes wonder if I should just forget about fucking.
     
  12. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    I guess I'm lucky when it comes to meeting the right bottoms. I'm 7" in circumference ... that's a pretty substantial girth ... yet I have never cause internal damage, and I have never had trouble finding dudes who were willing and able to take it anally. I work with another dancer who is slightly over 8" around (yes, he's enormous) and he's able to score ass pretty regularly. However both he and I have been denied entry from time to time due to our size ... which is okay with me as I really do enjoy oral. But trust me; there are plenty of bottom dudes out there who can take as much in the back door as most of us here at LPSG can offer! ;)
     
  13. Imported

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    fitdude: Lot of stuff I can agree with on this thread. Especially appreciated what ericbear wrote. I relate very much to it. Thanks, guy. You said it better than I could.
     
  14. BobLeeSwagger

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    I'm a straight guy who's never had anal sex before. (It's never really interested me that much.) But whether it feels good to you or not, physically injuring people is not good at all. I can see how accidents could happen where he thought he could take all of it. If it were me and I had hospitalized someone, I would be extremely reluctant to do it again with anyone until I could be convinced that the situation wouldn't be repeated. I know that if I did it to a woman's vagina, I would feel really terrible about it and it would affect how I had sex from then on. I would hope that's the case with others here too.
     
  15. Imported

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    Late_Bloomer: I've had anal sex with one of my exgirlfriends because she loved anal, and she bled a lot afterwards and was in a huge amount of pain for days. Sufficed to say we never did it again. I am very thick, and I've just thought that perhaps once one reaches a certain thickness, the anus may not be able to handle it any longer. I know that's not encouraging, and I have no idea how gay sex works, so I won't suggest you start being the receiver if that's not your thing, but... there it is.

    As far as vaginal sex goes, the vagina expands a huge amount with some work, considering a baby can fit through there, even the thickest dick is going to make it with some work. Sufficed to say, a well adjusted vagina and wide mouth are good things. ;D
     
  16. Imported

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    davegoodie: [quote author=Late_Bloomer link=board=meetgreet;num=1048554433;start=0#14 date=03/26/03 at 00:44:52]
    As far as vaginal sex goes, the vagina expands a huge amount with some work, considering a baby can fit through there[/quote]
    Yes, but a baby fits through there with an awful lot of pain. The trick with vaginal sex IMO is to get the woman really really wet - even so some will still find it a struggle to take a really thick cock, especially if you're a guy who takes his time.
     
  17. Imported

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    Dantesco: Im a fan of anal sex. (Women have asked me "Are you sure youre not Greek?") My length is considerably above average even when compared to the members here and I have had some unpleasant confrontations with indignant cervices. It is my experience that many women can accomodate me easier anally than vaginally. Apparently that is not always the case. Sorry to hear that you guys have had bad experiences, but I guess people are different. There are some men and women out there who can handle quite a lot of dick in their rears. I guess the trick is to find the right ones. I mean you cant very well say "By the way, I have an extra large cock. How good are you at taking it up the ass?" You wouldnt become known for being a hopeless romantic.
     
  18. Imported

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    Late_Bloomer: [quote author=davegoodie link=board=meetgreet;num=1048554433;start=15#15 date=03/26/03 at 01:51:01]
    Yes, but a baby fits through there with an awful lot of pain. The trick with vaginal sex IMO is to get the woman really really wet -  even so some will still find it a struggle to take a really thick cock, especially if you're a guy who takes his time.
    [/quote]
    Hence why I said "with some work."
     
  19. Imported

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    MYDEEPTHROAT: I think gay men that enjoy anal sex are just better able to handle a Well-Endowed partner!
    I've met a couple that I couldn't DEEPTHROAT ... mainly because they were so Hard that they couldn't bend at all going down the curve of my throat ...
    BUT ... NEVER met anyone who I could not handle when I was getting Fucked!!!
    If the 'bottom' is into it ... I think he can probably handle ANY cock ... no matter how BIG it is!!!
    I've never met one that scared me yet ... even in the 10"- 12" range ... but you definately have to take it slowly for the first minute or so if the 'top' is exceptional!!!!
    Always searching for a Really BIG Guy in Toronto who would like to experience DEEP PENETRATION!!!

    YOUR NEVER TOO BIG TO HANDLE
     
  20. Imported

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    Maryland8: Wow! I have never experiences the problems listed above even though I am eight inches long.
     
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