When to get stuff back or give stuff back??

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Ellerby Eatsprick, Nov 10, 2009.

  1. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    I recently just broke up with my boyfriend. It was a mutual thing. We will be friends but for now, going to take our space, otherwise we might dredge up feelings and fall back into another rut.

    My question is - when is it a good time to give back his things or go get my things? Should I go there to get my stuff? I don't need my stuff right away, as it's just a few articles of clothing, and some books. And I'm fairly sure he doesn't need his items just right away.
     
  2. beretta8

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    Now.....before he starts thinking about things of "ours" that he wants...and you may compromise......clean it up and be friends asap.....
     
  3. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    We did not move in or live together. It's just clothes and a couple philosophical books (and he would never read them. I honestly doubt he's gonna be like "That shirt is mine."
     
  4. AlteredEgo

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    Pack his things into a box. Now. One day, when you either desire or need closure, or miss your blue shirt, or want to remember a phrase from that book, or maybe on a day when you wake up feeling like you don't miss Him, you don't want Him, you can handle a few minutes of His company, you take your box, and maybe a few empty boxes for yourself, and go get your gear.
     
  5. Principessa

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    Sounds about right to me. :yup:
     
  6. Pitbull

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    Now is the best time.

    Only leave stuff or keep stuff if you want to have a handy excuse to see each other for an attempt at reconciliation at some point in the future.
    Then these items are props.

    But the door swings both ways - he will have the same handy excuse.
    If you really are breaking up - Get your stuff back!

    If you want to reconcile at some point in the future you don't need an excuse.
     
  7. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    I think that is a good idea. Won't need boxes though. Just a knapsack will be good. Its not I had moved into his place. :p
     
  8. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    True that the doors swings both ways. As much as it was mutual, given the reasons for the break up, I don't think we will be getting back together and we both know it was for good.

    I'm sure we'll be fine holding off for a bit.
     
  9. bgr_thn_avrg

    bgr_thn_avrg New Member

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    Yeah I was just in this same situation. Though she hasn't handled it so well. There are issues of manipulation like holding on to things to give a reason for them to come over later, or leaving things to have a reason to go there later. But these aside, I would probably get my stuff and give theirs back. If you are taking time apart before you get involved as friends, it will probably be easier if you don't have each other's stuff around. It may be amicable, but there are surely still emotions to be dredged by misc. relationship debri
     
  10. rob_just_rob

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    Now. You may not be on good terms forever. Get it out of the way, and there will be no future hassles.
     
  11. Snowy1

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    Mmm? Im in a similiar situation. My gf broke up with me, i still like her but have had to give her space as she needs to fix things in her life (could take weeks or months).

    Thing is, she still has some small trinkets (just films and clothes) and keeps saying she will bring them round to me, saying even if im not in she will just leave it at my door. But she never shows, im in when she says, and she knows when i work, i feel like its a wierd life line.
     
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