When you can't have sex

[Tattooed Goddess]

How do you get your mind off of it?

It's all I think of anyway but since I'm on "pelvic rest" for the next 4 weeks. I can't have penetrative sex and I tried to orgasm clitorally lastnight with no luck. It tuckered me out before I could even get to 1.

I don't want to turn my sex drive OFF because I want it to be ON when we are able. What the fuck am I supposed to do? It's so frustrating. Just being in his presence is more than I can take most days. And laying in bed with him at night....oh man oh man.

I need help from men (and womangs) who are accustomed to controlling their sexual urges even if they can't masturbate.

 

[molotovmuffin]

How do you get your mind off of it?

It's all I think of anyway but since I'm on "pelvic rest" for the next 4 weeks. I can't have penetrative sex and I tried to orgasm clitorally lastnight with no luck. It tuckered me out before I could even get to 1.

I don't want to turn my sex drive OFF because I want it to be ON when we are able. What the fuck am I supposed to do? It's so frustrating. Just being in his presence is more than I can take most days. And laying in bed with him at night....oh man oh man.

I need help from men (and womangs) who are accustomed to controlling their sexual urges even if they can't masturbate.

I'm in pure hell...almost 24/7 and I just deal with it...sorry, that's all I got.

 

[D_Olga Steponyatova]

I turn to constructive outlets where I will at least come away with something to show for, or have gained from my suffering.

-Books (the edjamukayshunal or entertainment type)
-Cooking
-Exercise
-Cleaning or organizing that thing I've been putting off wayyyyy too long
-Posting online :wink:
-Getting distracted by television, film, or finding new music
-Booze when all else fails, lol


Also helps if ya restructure how you think about the whole deal. Yah no sex really sucks now, but you'll be able to get back at it soon enough, and it will be all the sweeter because of the wait. You really can't do much about the sucky situation, so it doesn't help to dwell on it, so just accept the temporary suck for what it is. I know... it's a big stretch :biglaugh:

 

[Bbucko]

I'm a tad older (OK: lots), but my libido has always swung through peaks and valleys even at the best of times. When I've been out of commission for whatever medical reason, I distract myself by reading or socializing.

Booze can be a great source of comfort when one's forced into a period of celibacy (in the absence of other chemicals such as Xanax or Valium), but because it lowers inhibitions and tends to make one comfortable with pushing one's limits (when not ignoring them altogether), I'm not sure that hitting the sauce is the best remedy for your specific issue right now, MR: jus' sayin'.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

It's not as fun drinking from bed all by yourself. I enjoy drinking most in large social situations to use it as a social lubricant. For the first time I'm actually asking around for what the plans are for NYE on my Facebook friends because I'm trying to distract myself. I guess naturally my anti-social self is looking for social things to distract me from sex. After all, it's harder to leghump in public right?

 

[rob_just_rob]

Exercise, although perhaps pelvic rest is incompatible with that.

Otherwise, a harmless addiction. Something like Angry Birds (never played it, but understand that it was quite addicting), the first 3 seasons of Weeds, etc.

 

[B_enzia35]

Just gotta do something else.
Work out, work...Might be difficult in your case though. Play video games?

 

[jameshawket]

Well I'm not sure how much help I can be to you, since my sexual drive is really low in the first place, but when I get urges and I don't really want to unless my boyfriend is with me, I just think of other things I need/want to do.

I'm not sure what kind of rest you're requiring, but you can always go out and just walk around shops and people watch, take up a hobby like knitting, maybe you could just try conversing when you want to have sex, and just talk it out, I dunno. I find that talking to someone in real life is a great distraction from anything around you.

I may be young, but I know this much, I don't think it's right at all to turn to any kind of substance, especially alcohol, when your feeling sexually frustrated. That could turn sour really quickly.

 

[SprinkleMe69]

Well to get the juices flowing, do read some erotica. There may come a time when you may be dry and the big O may not come at all. That's what I did post op. When I did finally achieve the O, I was a little upset that it wasn't the big blast off like I could achieve prior to surgery. But don't worry, if you do experience this dry spell you will get back on track.

As for things to do for distraction.....how about a good game of mahjongg or bejeweled blitz. These 2 games keep my mind occupied for a few hours. :smile:

 

[geo_bachlor]

That is a tuff one. With the various genital piercings I have there have been different times required without sex to let them heal, but 4 weeks with none at all, not even masturbation, wow. Several things have already been mentioned, but don't worry, making yourself turn it off for 4 weeks won't keep you from starting again when you are allowed to again. Stop thinking about it is #1, but that is easier said then done. Good luck.

 

[crescendo69]

Scrabble?

 

[OhWiseOne]

Just a couple of things.

I don't understand the whole operation you went though and pain but I understand the post op. no sex. Is it possible to get your man to help you since you are aroused when you are close to him?

Oh noooo not Facebook....kidding

Rouge, Is this a womens issue in disguise? You are so sneaky with all that time on your hands.:smile:

Sorry for your frustration.

 

[tgirlsrgreat]

is there something keeping him from satisfying you orally? i don't want to get blasted for asking it. oral sex in return and a nice handjob? shower together and use lots of baby oil and such for both of you!! i love performing oral sex on my lovers in the shower, on the couch, in the car, kitchen table, even in bed!!! oh yeah, i had one gf that would like work her fingers on my back or shoulder/arm indicating the way she wanted me to work my fingers on her clit, no penetration. all i had to do was mimic her motions and it brought her to a thundering climax every time. she loved me for it because i was the first guy to ever pick up on what she was doing and why!

 

[pcghabsy]

I turn to constructive outlets where I will at least come away with something to show for, or have gained from my suffering.

-Books (the edjamukayshunal or entertainment type)
-Cooking
-Exercise
-Cleaning or organizing that thing I've been putting off wayyyyy too long
-Posting online :wink:
-Getting distracted by television, film, or finding new music
-Booze when all else fails, lol


Also helps if ya restructure how you think about the whole deal. Yah no sex really sucks now, but you'll be able to get back at it soon enough, and it will be all the sweeter because of the wait. You really can't do much about the sucky situation, so it doesn't help to dwell on it, so just accept the temporary suck for what it is. I know... it's a big stretch :biglaugh:

Couldn't put it any better myself! It is all about keeping yourself occupied. When I am working and I know I can't afford to take time out to masturbate, just the passing feeling is very pleasant. As you get back to work, it, well, passes by.

 

[FRE]

How do you get your mind off of it?

It's all I think of anyway but since I'm on "pelvic rest" for the next 4 weeks. I can't have penetrative sex and I tried to orgasm clitorally lastnight with no luck. It tuckered me out before I could even get to 1.

I don't want to turn my sex drive OFF because I want it to be ON when we are able. What the fuck am I supposed to do? It's so frustrating. Just being in his presence is more than I can take most days. And laying in bed with him at night....oh man oh man.

I need help from men (and womangs) who are accustomed to controlling their sexual urges even if they can't masturbate.

Simple. Just pretend that you are a nun. You might check out the possibility of visiting a convent for four weeks.