When you have sex with your best friend

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by MH07, Jul 7, 2008.

  1. MH07

    MH07 Member

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    Ok, I know this has been covered on here before, but I searched diligently and couldn't find a thread on this particular subject (so please, spare me the "Well, if you'd just try search..." replies...).

    My roommate and best friend is considerably younger than I (he's 25, I'm 51). He chases women and has never given me the slightest indication that he'd ever want to do otherwise.

    Last night, we were drinking and the conversation turned to sex. He knew that I had a similar friendship (me 25, friend 50) when I was his age. What I told him was that my friend and I had wound up having mmf sex. He was very intrigued and questioned me closely on it ("So, what was it like?"). He wound up saying he would love to try it sometime if I could find the girl.

    We had been sitting on the patio; we came in from there and turned on the TV. I called up the Playboy channel just to see what he would do.

    To my total shock, he immediately took out his dick! I had never even SEEN him naked before, he was always so modest around me. So, naturally I took off my clothes; he took off his. He had mentioned shaving his balls; I just shaved mine for the first time and I showed them to him; I then reached over and felt his briefly, asking him how he got them so smooth. He grabbed my dick, played with it for a second, and started sucking me! Again I was shocked.

    We wound up doing "everything", including me fucking the daylights out of him, with him moaning and clutching the bed.

    We usually come into the den every morning for coffee. I came in in my underwear this morning (as normal). He came in stark naked (very abnormal). I wound up sucking him off twice (he IS 25...) before we got ready for work.

    I asked him if he was ok, and he said, "Sure. Just two adults having fun." Today at work, as is our custom, we exchanged emails.

    Tonight when he got home, he was very stiff and silent; went into his bedroom and shut the door (unusual). He spoke with me but it was weird.

    He's gone to the gym at the moment, which gave me uninterrupted time to write this.

    So,

    1. Have I fucked up?

    2. Have we messed up a wonderful friendship?

    3. How do I handle it from here? I'll take anything he'll give me in terms of sex (it was absolutely wonderful, made more so because we do love each other and have for years as friends; he's never had a blow job like the one I gave him and nobody had ever given him a prostate massage to completion, much less fucked his ass). If we never have sex again, I'm good with that, sad, but ok.

    I just don't want to lose the friendship.

    Opinions?
     
  2. martinez5

    martinez5 New Member

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    The sad thing is when people jump in relationships and don't want to lose friendship, you never know what will happen. you might lose something you might gain something wonderful. you'll just have to go with what you think is best.

    hmm. i just realized just how unhelpful that really was.
     
  3. cravincock

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    ive had some type of sex with all my guy friends
    but me and my bestfriend since we were 2 have had sex many times and nothing has ever gone wrong with the friendship
    we know were always there for eachother whenever we need it
     
  4. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Let him be for a bit, let him come to you that way he will have had his own time to cool off and think it through. He may be hurting from being fucked and is wondering why he did that.
     
  5. hungthk

    hungthk Member

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    I had a similar experience with my best mate that started many years ago. At the time, I thought he was very straight; he always had girlfriends and had always been in a relationship - even to this day.

    We started playing around a bit and it got quite serious (from a sexual perspective), and he was always saying to me that it's just sex - he wasn't interested in a m/m relationship. Being best friends and having to deal with this can really put a strain on the friendship, and your sexual relationship.

    We both backed off for a while and continued with our friendship which (although we never mentioned), was far more important than trying to maintain both, especially given he prefers relationships with females. I totally respect that now, and it was hard for me to get me head around that at first, but once I did respect that that's the way things are, and will continue to be, I'd have my friendship over sex any day.

    Needless to say that was 10 years ago, we still mess about every now and then, and when we do it's fucking amazing, but that's as far as it goes.

    I suppose you just need to sort out where he's at and respect his decisions. I know it's hard to talk about these things sometimes, and people give mixed signals. He may have had a crap day at work - don't take things personally, and don't react to things based on what you think **may** be going through his head. Just keep it real, and take it easy. Talk when the time's right, and above all respect your friendship first and foremost.

    Hope that helps :rolleyes:
     
  6. MH07

    MH07 Member

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    Thanks all for the replies. He's home now and things seem a little strange but then, maybe he just DID have a stressful day at work.
     
  7. Topgun4U69

    Topgun4U69 New Member

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    straight guyz go thru guilt trips at times...he might be afraid he enjoyed the FUCK too much...and as other person mentioned...may have been really sore! Might have even had some blood discharge which might scare him, too! Straight guys dont want to feel they are women! Makes them feel subserviant (NO offense to ladies who view this)...
    JUST a guy thing!

    BE kind to him...dont pursue him...let him approach you...he will when he settles down!
    Probably doesnt want LTR with you! (dont be hurt)...remember at 25...he still has some growing up to do...at least in relationships! Just two guyz enjoying some FUN times were his comments, let it fall as that!

    Think instead of blowing him next morning...you should have relaxed...since this is ALL new to him...gay curious is GREAT! ...have three married guys that i play with...ALL were gay curious...but have to go slow...in steps before you can get them comfortable with themselves! Just a suggestion... Interested in hearing about what he will say...

    If he does approach you...TELL him the time you had together is NO ones business but yours...that you value his friendship MORE than sex! BE kewl...and things will work out!
    You may want to take him someplace he is comfortable at... sports bar, sports event... Have some FUN with him without SEX things entering conversations! Get him to laugh...and he may open up to you! GOOD LUCK! :cool:
     
  8. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    from my experience in the having sex with a best friend situation, it makes things very complicated. not better, not worst, just complicated.
     
  9. killerb

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    this is true...

    some people get really weird about sex...

    he might be uneasy about what has happened...just give him a little time & space...
     
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