When you perfer the mistress over the wife

[green26]

I have been married for 14 years, my wife is everything I wanted in a mate. She is intelligent, beautiful, has a great job, etc. However, our sex life has not been great over the last few years. Its the same story I've heard from many married people, for some reason the sex just isn't the same as it was in the beginning, if we have sex 4 times a month, that is alot now. Therefore, I decided to get a mistress, as well as a side piece or two.:smile: My mistress does everything as far as sex, it is great. The other two ladies are great as well, can't get enough of the three of them. Its now at the point where I don't want to have sex with my wife. I still love her but I rather have sex with the other ladies. I have tired to spice up the sex with the wife but nothing seems to work, she is tired, not in the mood, etc. So I guess I will just continue to enjoy the sex with my "ladies" and not worry about it, any thoughts on this?

 

[MarkLondon]

I'm interested in how the three (or five!) of you are handling this. Hope you don't mind if I ask a few questions.

So you don't have any intention to end your marriage? I'm reading that you still love your wife and are strongly "socially bonded" (for want of a better phrase). Do you think she knows that you're getting your sexual satisfaction elsewhere? Is it possible she is doing the same?

And is your mistress content with her secondary relationship with you?

The reason I'm asking is that I've found myself involved in a similar situation, though it's not running so smoothly as it sounds like yours is. (A PM would be fine if you don't want to discuss that publicly, if you want to answer at all.)

 

[houtx48]

sounds like you need to look into hiding some of your assets for a rainy day.

 

[achillesx]

sounds like you need to look into hiding some of your assets for a rainy day.

QFT

Or all of your assets.

 

[molotovmuffin]

I'm interested in how the three (or five!) of you are handling this. Hope you don't mind if I ask a few questions.

So you don't have any intention to end your marriage? I'm reading that you still love your wife and are strongly "socially bonded" (for want of a better phrase). Do you think she knows that you're getting your sexual satisfaction elsewhere? Is it possible she is doing the same?

And is your mistress content with her secondary relationship with you?

The reason I'm asking is that I've found myself involved in a similar situation, though it's not running so smoothly as it sounds like yours is. (A PM would be fine if you don't want to discuss that publicly, if you want to answer at all.)

Actually, I'd like the read the answers to those as well.

 

[hud01]

I have been married for 14 years, my wife is everything I wanted in a mate. She is intelligent, beautiful, has a great job, etc. However, our sex life has not been great over the last few years. Its the same story I've heard from many married people, for some reason the sex just isn't the same as it was in the beginning, if we have sex 4 times a month, that is alot now. Therefore, I decided to get a mistress, as well as a side piece or two.:smile: My mistress does everything as far as sex, it is great. The other two ladies are great as well, can't get enough of the three of them. Its now at the point where I don't want to have sex with my wife. I still love her but I rather have sex with the other ladies. I have tired to spice up the sex with the wife but nothing seems to work, she is tired, not in the mood, etc. So I guess I will just continue to enjoy the sex with my "ladies" and not worry about it, any thoughts on this?

Does the name Tiger Woods ring a bell. I can see one, but trying to juggle 3 and a wife is going to come back and bite you.

There is an old saying that if you put a penny in a jar for every time you have sex in the first three (some say two) years and take one out for every time after, the jar will never empty.

In the old days it wasn't uncommon for men to have a mistress, as the wife was done with sex.

 

[molotovmuffin]

Seriously, you're having sex with 4 women...
Do any of them know about the others?
Are you practicing safe sex with all 4?
Are they sexually active with other men/women?
Are they practicing safe sex with their other partners?

You're heading for something you don't want and it may not just be a divorce.

 

[MickeyLee]

i guess he doesn't count his thumb as one of his many lovers
poor lil thumb.
no matter how hard thumb work the ridge.. opposable never gets the love :sigh:

 

[green26]

I'm interested in how the three (or five!) of you are handling this. Hope you don't mind if I ask a few questions.

So you don't have any intention to end your marriage? I'm reading that you still love your wife and are strongly "socially bonded" (for want of a better phrase). Do you think she knows that you're getting your sexual satisfaction elsewhere? Is it possible she is doing the same?

And is your mistress content with her secondary relationship with you?

The reason I'm asking is that I've found myself involved in a similar situation, though it's not running so smoothly as it sounds like yours is. (A PM would be fine if you don't want to discuss that publicly, if you want to answer at all.)

I don't want to end the marriage, other then a lack of sex, everything else is great. I have told her countless things that I was going to get a mistress, don't know if she that serious or not. She doesn't know what I'm doing and I don't know if she is doing anything on the side. The mistress seems content, I have been very truthful with her about the situation. As far as smoothly goes, I am extra careful, very upfront with ladies, have a history with them, 2 of them are involved as well. I see one of them at least once a week, sometimes twice, dependly of time and opportunity.

 

[green26]

Seriously, you're having sex with 4 women...
Do any of them know about the others?
Are you practicing safe sex with all 4?
Are they sexually active with other men/women?
Are they practicing safe sex with their other partners?

You're heading for something you don't want and it may not just be a divorce.

None of them know about the other, yes I practice sex safe with all of them, no glove, no love. Two of them are involved with partners, one is in the same situation as me. As far as I know they are having safe sex with their partners. In spite of how it may look, they aren't what I would call loose women, I have known them for a long time. All three have children and don't want anymore.

 

[green26]

i guess he doesn't count his thumb as one of his many lovers
poor lil thumb.
no matter how hard thumb work the ridge.. opposable never gets the love :sigh:

Not sure what is you are trying to say

 

[houtx48]

Not sure what is you are trying to say

LOL Really?

 

[Curvey_Amazon_OH]

From a former mistress several times over.......as long as you are willing to take the consequences that come along with playing with fire, then play safe and enjoy it while it lasts. You are a grown man and know what the risks are.

 

[Willifred]

It doesn't sound like it's going to end well at all.

 

[green26]

I rather not have to go outside my relationship for sex but if the wife doesn't want to engage then what I am suppose to do?

 

[green26]

From a former mistress several times over.......as long as you are willing to take the consequences that come along with playing with fire, then play safe and enjoy it while it lasts. You are a grown man and know what the risks are.

Did any of the men you dealt with get caught by their wives?

 

[molotovmuffin]

Did any of the men you dealt with get caught by their wives?

I'm also a mistress. He was caught the very first time we were together. The divorce is in the works.

You really need to sit down with the wife and spell it out. If she doesn't agree to your terms then you're screwed and not in a good way. I think she's not going to be too happy with your choices so far, so be prepared.

 

[flame boy]

I rather not have to go outside my relationship for sex but if the wife doesn't want to engage then what I am suppose to do?

Talk to her? Find out the reason why she has next to no desire to sleep with you? People just don't stop wanting sex for no reason. It's likely the spark may be gone, but together you should work on reigniting it rather than looking elsewhere and avoiding the issue. Just my two cents.

 

[MarkLondon]

I suspect your wife knows, on some level at least, that you're getting sexual satisfaction elsewhere. If she's not raising it as an issue she may be content with the situation without necessarily wanting to know any details.

 

[green26]

How much and how long are you suppose to talk to a person? I have talked and talked and still in hasn't improved. Perhaps she had lost the spark but when we have sex she seems to enjoy it. I am tired of talking so it was time for action.