When you perfer the mistress over the wife

xX_Sarah_Xx

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Well at least TELL her about it green. If she's not interested in more sex, and that is a dealbreaker for you, then there are two options. You're both happy with the situation of you getting a little something on the side discretely with her knowing about it or you tell her how much of a dealbreaker it really is for you and you two break up.
What you're doing now is cheating, it's not fair to her. A relationship = two people together. Right now you are making the decision for her, not giving her a choice. Stop being selfish. It will not end well that way.
 

green26

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Well at least TELL her about it green. If she's not interested in more sex, and that is a dealbreaker for you, then there are two options. You're both happy with the situation of you getting a little something on the side discretely with her knowing about it or you tell her how much of a dealbreaker it really is for you and you two break up.
What you're doing now is cheating, it's not fair to her. A relationship = two people together. Right now you are making the decision for her, not giving her a choice. Stop being selfish. It will not end well that way.
She made the decision, I have been telling her I needed to have sex more often, have been saying it for years. I don't want to leave her inspite of the situation, everything else is good between us. How am I being selfish?
 

molotovmuffin

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She made the decision, I have been telling her I needed to have sex more often, have been saying it for years. I don't want to leave her inspite of the situation, everything else is good between us. How am I being selfish?
Because you're making it very appearant to all of us that you don't care why she isn't interested in sex and that come hell or high water, you're gonna get some.

You have not told her, so don't try to tell us you did. Until you tell her you're already having sex with 3 other women you are lying to her about your cheating. Your title even states that you prefer the sex with the other women than with your wife. Tell her and let her decide what is right for her.
 

xX_Sarah_Xx

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She made the decision, I have been telling her I needed to have sex more often, have been saying it for years. I don't want to leave her inspite of the situation, everything else is good between us. How am I being selfish?

I don't think she decided you should just go have sex with other women? If she did, you didn't mention that in your posts.
She may very well not understand of how much importance it is to you. If it's that big of a deal, you either stick with her, or you're just not compatible anymore as a couple...
If you stick with her and she doesn't *mind* you having a little something on the side that's okay. But if you don't tell her about it, that's not fair to her. And that is being selfish, not taking into account how SHE feels about the whole situation.
 

green26

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Because you're making it very appearant to all of us that you don't care why she isn't interested in sex and that come hell or high water, you're gonna get some.

You have not told her, so don't try to tell us you did. Until you tell her you're already having sex with 3 other women you are lying to her about your cheating. Your title even states that you prefer the sex with the other women than with your wife. Tell her and let her decide what is right for her.
Your first paragraph makes no sense. I never said I told her I was having sex with any else. I'm not understanding "lying to her about your cheating".
 

green26

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I don't think she decided you should just go have sex with other women? If she did, you didn't mention that in your posts.
She may very well not understand of how much importance it is to you. If it's that big of a deal, you either stick with her, or you're just not compatible anymore as a couple...
If you stick with her and she doesn't *mind* you having a little something on the side that's okay. But if you don't tell her about it, that's not fair to her. And that is being selfish, not taking into account how SHE feels about the whole situation.
I did mention she doesn't care because if she did care, she would have sex more often with me. I have made it very clear how important sex is to me, what part of telling her for years you missed?
 
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green, stop avoiding the facts. If you were truthful with yourself you would know you are a liar, or turning in to one. Apparently you and your wife still engage in intimate conversation. How many times have you had to cover your arse with fibs?

Seems to me you keep making excuses not to be truthful. You keep digging a deeper hole mate, and it's going to fall in on you. If you cannot see that, then I do not think the reduced sex in the marriage or your wife is the sole problem, do you?
 
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green26

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green, stop avoiding the facts. If you were truthful with yourself you would know you are a liar, or turning in to one. Apparently you and your wife still engage in intimate conversation. How many times have you had to cover your arse with fibs?

Seems to me you keep making excuses not to be truthful. You keep digging a deeper hole mate, and it's going to fall in on you. If you cannot see that, then I do not think the reduced sex in the marriage or your wife is the sole problem, do you?
I don't understand how I am a liar. Actually, I haven't had to cover myself up with many liars at all, it is time and opportunity, I am not sneaking out 2 in the morning to meet up with the women I am involved with. What excuses am I making up? Yes, the reason why I have sex with other women is because I am getting it from the wife, is that really hard to understand?
 

green26

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So I get it, be truthfully, tell the wife and end the marriage, okay. I don't think that is what I will do but thanks for the feedback,:cool:
 
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No worries green, what you don't understand is you are flat lining in the truth department with regards to your partner/wife. When the shit hits the fan I think your excuses are all you will be left with. Best of luck.
 
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achillesx

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So I get it, be truthfully, tell the wife and end the marriage, okay. I don't think that is what I will do but thanks for the feedback,:cool:

If you tell her about the other woman I would assume you're FUCKED like a mother. Now that said, if you want to do "right" to her and have this thing happen honestly, I would advise:
0)Cover your ass in all ways possible should you need a divorce.
1)Talking to her about the sex thing.
2)If she doesn't budge act like you're kind of okay with it and keep fucking the other bitches until she finds out.
3)Proceed with divorce (if necessary)

otherwise, if she says she wants to fix it, if you want to do right by her, you should probably stop fucking the other bitches and go to counseling with her. Make sure you see a sex therapist though, they specialize in this, and many can help you get her off amazingly and she'll want it all the time.
 

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Right, I think I understand, in order to not mislead/lie to someone, you need to make sure you just don't mention the things you're doing which might upset your wife. You can then claim you've never lied to that person and do what the hell you like, regardless of consequences and/or any guilt.

Not really very smart are you.
 

MarkLondon

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Oh come on people, Mrs Green is described as a smart, successful woman and they've been married for a fair time. She must know him pretty well. I doubt his infidelity is completely un-noticed.
 

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The problem is, is that you've changed the rules of the game on her. You want sex more often than she does. That's not a crime in and of itself.

However, Have you asked her why, and what, if anything you two could do to rectify it? If so, what has she said?

You said that you've told her that you may want to seek sex somewhere else. How did she react? Did it bother her? Was she ok with it? If not, why do you continue to do this without telling her?

Also, having 3 women that you're sleeping with is a bit extreme. Why not just have one that you go to for sex, if nothing else. Having 3 women, some of whom are involved, and have kids, is just a recipe for disaster.

I think it would do you well to have a nice, long conversation with your wife, and work things out to the both of your satisfactions. You're headed for disaster otherwise.
 

green26

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If you tell her about the other woman I would assume you're FUCKED like a mother. Now that said, if you want to do "right" to her and have this thing happen honestly, I would advise:
0)Cover your ass in all ways possible should you need a divorce.
1)Talking to her about the sex thing.
2)If she doesn't budge act like you're kind of okay with it and keep fucking the other bitches until she finds out.
3)Proceed with divorce (if necessary)

otherwise, if she says she wants to fix it, if you want to do right by her, you should probably stop fucking the other bitches and go to counseling with her. Make sure you see a sex therapist though, they specialize in this, and many can help you get her off amazingly and she'll want it all the time.
Thank you, well thought out response, I appreciate it.
 

green26

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The problem is, is that you've changed the rules of the game on her. You want sex more often than she does. That's not a crime in and of itself.

However, Have you asked her why, and what, if anything you two could do to rectify it? If so, what has she said?

You said that you've told her that you may want to seek sex somewhere else. How did she react? Did it bother her? Was she ok with it? If not, why do you continue to do this without telling her?

Also, having 3 women that you're sleeping with is a bit extreme. Why not just have one that you go to for sex, if nothing else. Having 3 women, some of whom are involved, and have kids, is just a recipe for disaster.

I think it would do you well to have a nice, long conversation with your wife, and work things out to the both of your satisfactions. You're headed for disaster otherwise.
I didnt change the rules, she did that. I don't know how to explain that I have spoken with her about our sex life many times. She said if that is what I want to go for it but she doesn't really mean it. Am I suppose to live with having sex a couple of times a month when that doesn't work for me?
 

green26

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Right, I think I understand, in order to not mislead/lie to someone, you need to make sure you just don't mention the things you're doing which might upset your wife. You can then claim you've never lied to that person and do what the hell you like, regardless of consequences and/or any guilt.

Not really very smart are you.
Fuck you dude, real talk.
 

green26

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Oh come on people, Mrs Green is described as a smart, successful woman and they've been married for a fair time. She must know him pretty well. I doubt his infidelity is completely un-noticed.
I haven't done anything for her to know. I haven't changed my habits one bit. I have the time and opportunity, I don't want to hurt her so I am very careful. In spite of the lack of sex, I love my wife deeply. I guess to some that might seem strange because of what I am doing.
 

green26

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Also, having 3 women that you're sleeping with is a bit extreme. Why not just have one that you go to for sex, if nothing else. Having 3 women, some of whom are involved, and have kids, is just a recipe for disaster. I didn't plan on three women, it just happened that way.
 

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I'm not going to offer advice, as I have none, or debate with you whether or not you've been deceitful or not. I'm just curious, how do you manage to keep all four of these women happy with you? It just seems like it would take a lot of free time just to maintain all these relationships. Guys with just one mistress have to devote a lot of time to the outside relationship, and you've got three on the side? How does your wife not notice? Does't it concern you that one of these women could be a wild card and end up telling your wife?

Those aren't rhetorical questions. I'm genuinely curious.