Why are we all inclined to play these mind games? Isn't life complicated enough? Come as you are. :booty::booty::booty:
If "come as you are" really worked, then so many people wouldn't put up all these fronts to satisfy someone else's overblown criteria.
Women wouldn't wear heels to make them look taller, makeup to hide their pockmarks & wrinkles, push-up bras to make them seem bustier. They wouldn't tweeze their eyebrows, shave their legs & armpits, color their hair a million colors, put on fake nails, fake eyelashes, fake hair, and fake eye contacts. They wouldn't go on these countless diets.
Men wouldn't spend endless time in the gym (or using steroids/supplements) trying to look buff, wouldn't wear toupees or be members of the Hair Club for Men. They wouldn't go crazy trying to show off a big roll of dollar bills, wouldn't try to impress through their profession, wouldn't refuse to admit fear, uncertainty, weakness, or vulnerability. They wouldn't use Viagra or Cialis.
People aren't looking for reality. They're looking for a fantasy. Each and every one. If you REALLY wanna know how a person is going to be, you gotta look at them in their bad moments. Everybody's trying to make the best first impression trying to be on their best behavior. But that has
always been phony! You can't keep that up indefinitely. Something's gonna give & when it does, that will be the real you. And THAT'S the person others need to see. Not all these personas, not all these masks.
Chris Rock said it in one of his comedy bits.
"Relationships, easy to get into, hard to maintain. Why are they so hard to maintain? Because it’s hard to keep up the lie! ‘Cause you can’t get nobody being you. You got to lie to get somebody. You can’t get nobody looking like you look, acting like you act, sounding like you sound. When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative!"
Because of that reality the mind games continue. Human beings are endlessly judgmental about others & with their inborns egos are always looking for faults in others to feel superior against.
As much as I would like it to myself, I know FOR SURE that "come as you are" & "be yourself" DON'T WORK.
Many years ago a friend of my dad - a fairly wealthy guy - experimented a little with how women saw him. He want out in his Mercedes, valet parked it, wore his best suit and had women approach him at the bar regularly. When he wore clothes from Sears or JCPenny and drove a beater he didn't get the same attention. Money talks, bullshit walks.
This is truth regardless of all the nonsense posted in this thread.
A lot of people are trying to sugarcoat stuff here. I'm sensing a lot of disingenousness all over this topic. A lot of bull.
A woman's reaction to fancy cars depends on her number of encounters with those types of cars along with her economic class & status.
A poor girl working at McDonald's will be more inclined to be impressed with a fancy ride than a rich Paris Hilton type who sees them everyday (& probably owns them).
It's biological reality. Women are attracted to sexual power & economic power. That includes the potential for it as well (a lot of people don't factor that in). If you have resources, that is one way to get women. If you have sexual prowess, that is the other. When you boil it all down, it comes down to those 2 principles.
Hugh Hefner gets girls because he has great economic status. Plain & simple. John F. Kennedy was the same. Being President of the United States gives you great economic potential & power. He was already rich before anyway so he had extra padding.
The only way you're gonna get an honest answer on this subject is to do a live double blind recorded test in public. Hidden camera kind of deal.
Take 3 guys. One more universally considered attractive (a heartthrob). One more universally considered moderately attractive (or just OK). One more universally considered not as attractive (not necessarily ugly but nowhere near a heartthrob). All will be dressed neatly but in accordance to the vehicle they drive to signify economic class.
Take 3 vehicles. One top of the line jazzy snazzy Jaguar or Mercedes or something like that. One pretty well kept up Toyota, Ford, Chevy, or something like that—a 4 door maybe. One 15 year old beat up, banged up Nissan, Kia, Honda—make it a 4-cylinder engine (a real hoopty).
Watch & record the actions/reactions of the women as the different cars drive into the area (a supermarket is a good place, maybe an apartment complex). Have all 3 men drive each car individually to complete all possible scenarios. Watch & record the actions/reactions of the women as the different guys get out of each different car.
Observe & record any possible interactions that the men may have with the women & note all the details. Duration of interactions, eye contact, smile/frown/indifference of the women, phone numbers gathered, what type of women approach, their style of dress, their perceived level of attractiveness, the time of day, weather variables, etc.
Do this for 7 days, one week, taking the 3 different guys in the 3 different cars to different unrelated locales. And then gather & compare the results.
THEN & ONLY THEN will you get a parcel of truth on this subject.
My theory goes that the attractive guy in the hoopty may get an initial indifferent or negative reaction but will end up getting a positive reaction once the females check out his physical looks.
The not-so-attractive guy will get a better reaction with the snazziest car though it will pale in comparison to the attractive guy driving the same snazzy car. The not-so guy will get all negativity or even indifference driving the beat up hoopty.
The moderately attractive guy will get mixed reaction with the hoopty car, more favorable reaction with the middle-of-the-road car, & most favorable reaction with the top-of-the-line car.
People are judgmental & they WILL judge you on the car you drive.
Some women who recognize this try to get ahead of the game & may take a chance on the guy driving the hoopty if she believes he truly has economic power or at least potential. They all go crazy over the hot guy & his car has less influence over his ability to attract, I believe. Hooptys won't hurt hotties.
John Lucas