Where are the real men?

[902369]

Once you've bothered to do some introspection, instead of dodging it every single time. Get back to me.

I hope you keep up this same momentum every time a thread like this gets made because it will get made in the future and the irony is that it won't even be nellon399 who made it! Seems like a lot of gay men need to do some "introspection". Oh wait, I can't paint all gay men with the same brush right?

 

[alcor972]

LOL, brilliant question! Je pense que tu veuilles dire "unhinged", pas "unchained" dans ce contexte

merci beaucoup, englad, pour ce nouveau mot que tu m'as appris!...
I didn't know the word "unhinged" before your intervention, englad…
of course… you can imagine my face when I looked for its translation…

…
surely… nellon has greatly appreciated the help you provided to me at this occasion…

...

 

[alcor972]

yes, nellon…
I remembered some hours after my last saturday post...lol... that you had already talked about manuel ferrara in another thread about porn actors in this same forum section… and I indeed thought that it was likely you would have told me about him in your response…
in addition… I have to say that your description concerning the porn actors social media activities is totally conform to your style, nell, in all its glory… lol...
………………….
concerning this real man quest… jason brown could be, after several years of passionate porn scenes watching… lol… the man who better matches this ideal up for me…
firstly… jason has undergone a very positive physical evolution for the last 5 years… and his appearance considerably gained in masculinity… lol… reaching currently a handsomeness peak that makes me just crazy…
jason has apparently an ectomorph body… with long and powerful legs contrasting with a less developed torso… with particularly non very wide shoulders…
this conformation makes him strong and gracile at the same time… and this contrast is very sexy for me…
of course, jason has really reinforced his muscular mass… but it seems to me that… maybe due to his ectomorph shape… that this typical contrast power/thiness proper to him, far from lessening, has in fact strengthened…
in fact… jason has suceeded so far to maintain the general characteristic lines of his body… which shows in consequence a quite coherent aspect since his porn debuts…
this long lasting coherence is for me another reason to appreciate him very much…
………………..
I really would hug him during long minutes and quietly lay my head on one of his shoulders… without saying anything… or having a rest… and falling asleep near him… just enjoying his presence close to me...
I could frankly fall in love with a guy like him…

*sigh*
lol…
……………………….
as you see, nell, my criterias for depicting the real man seem essentially physical… which can appear like an authentical scandal of shallowness in this thread… lol… but precisely… I like jason because he is more and more handsome… and not just because he is handsome…
I think that the beauty in general is a process… an evolution... something progressive and dynamic… and so could be the real man as well…
ok...

 

[alcor972]

this typical contrast power/thiness proper to him

this contrast related to him…
sorry
lol

 

[Nudistpig]

No idea why it’s so difficult finding a normal person to commit with. In big cities the gay scene is full of sex parties and drugs and there is always a better option to go for/hotter guy so they never stay.
Is this happen to me only? Why people don’t show affect and caring? Can two men have this or the man nature is just being strong and don’t connect at that level? Is it a gay matter or depends on the person?

One does not find a relationship. They are not sitting on shelf waiting for you. You have to create them, and that starts with planning your life to be a good place to meet and know new men. Apps aren't the solution, websites, catalogues...none of that shit is worth it. You aren't selecting based on any criteria that has anything to do with a relationship that has value in the way I think you intend. Stop complaining about drugs and sex parties, that's not why you're single. And if you have a concern, work to help fix the issue. Pointing out we have an addiction crisis and lamenting that addicts don't make good dates is silly. You know that already. If you are dating men who don't display affect and caring often the problem is how you are choosing men, not the men (those problems are theirs). That said, there is precious little support in our community for spaces that foster individual growth and self actualization. Are you from a small city or the countryside? If this is the case, your issue is as much rural urban as it is gay straight.

There is no good advice. The dating pool is shitty. Work is hard, people have the wrong priorities and we see each other as disposable. Id suggest building a social life that is unique,community based (other communities you belong to), and robust. Meet people, go to dinner parties, potlucks, picnics, etc. Someone has a gay friend just like you. And when you meet that person, you will be introduced. This can happen many many times. One of those men will be a good match. Be sure you know what you're looking for and appreciate that instead of looking at what isn't there.

 

[Nudistpig]

I hope you keep up this same momentum every time a thread like this gets made because it will get made in the future and the irony is that it won't even be nellon399 who made it! Seems like a lot of gay men need to do some "introspection". Oh wait, I can't paint all gay men with the same brush right?

Human being need to do introspection it's a basic tool of self analysis without which you are a submental or a sociopath. While its an easy critique its almost never wrong.

 

[Nudistpig]

I'm just going to point out that no one has really talked about the actual stuff you need to do to find new people, and establish the framework and groundwork for a good friendship. That probably has something to do with it.

 

[deleted553203]

If you want a good man then you’re going to have to put yourself out there and not in the party/sex scene.

I consider myself a decent gay man and I don’t struggle to meet others like myself more just to make the relationship work, I can’t say my advice about where to meet is going to work but, I’m certain it’ll be better than what you’re currently doing.

1) Join a gay men’s sports club/team: staying fit, hanging out, teamwork.. really can’t go wrong with this one and it’s no secret most gay guys prefer some fitness.
2) Go to any gay social event (volunteer or otherwise) people that do these genuinely care about the community which means they’re looking at the long term.
3) Also have you tried putting a personal ad looking for what you want on the site? It may work

 

[BJsr]

Trust its not just you so many guys arent willing to commit and lets face it other than bars and chat media etc. it is still difficult to feel out if a guy is gay in conventional settings

 

[Nudistpig]

Trust its not just you so many guys arent willing to commit and lets face it other than bars and chat media etc. it is still difficult to feel out if a guy is gay in conventional settings

Also, I guess this is generational but I know whether he will sleep with me gay bi straight or whatever just by looking at him carefully and letting out a bit of charisma. And isn't it more important to find men who won't care if you are, or who are open to male male relationships of a variety of kinds? My new dating interest is straight, or was until we met. I had no intentions he had no intentions but here we are.

 

[tito21]

Lol a real man is the one who shows emotions, makes you feel special and also gets angry when things are not good.
If you find someone call me! They are in extinction!!
Pd: if he is a wild beast in sheets a PLUS!
X

I might as well finish the rest of your post for you. A real man also pays your bill, they dine you and bed you, send you chocolates and flowers on valentine’s day, and above all else. He’s gotta be masculine, he’s gotta be strong and he’s gotta be fresh from the fight.

 

[tito21]

Damn. I Just realised that i’m late with my post and that someone necro’d this thread from July.

 

[Nomadic]

Don't look for love on cruising apps and in gay bars.

There are surely less sex-focused resources; dating websites,etc

Clubs. There's LGBT clubs for any interest these day, in Canada certainly