where did you guys meet your girl/wife/fuck buddy?

[B_ordinarydude88]

I am having a hard time meeting girls for lots of reasons.

1. Im 20 and still live with my mom as she has a huge house which is too big for her, so I help her out with house stuff and rent, it also helps save me a TON of money by living at home still. this doesnt help.

2. all I do is work and sleep. I have very little patience and stupidity just drives me crazy, which is why I rarely hang out with my moron friends who drink all day every day. that doesnt help.

3. I live in a tiny town and dont drink. im not a bar fly like everyone else, matter of fact I NEVER go to the bar, nor do I drink or smoke, so that doesnt help.

4. I dont go to college and dont plan on it anytime soon so that doesnt help.

5. im pretty shy and anti social, cant stand hanging around stupid people or drunk people (same thing). I also cant stand cigarette and cigarette smoke which seems to be everywhere, it pisses me off to the point where I dont even hang out with my friends. 9/10 people I know smoke so id rather be alone.

the only good thing about everything ive said is that im super healthy/fit, and ive got lots of money, whereas all my friends have destroyed bodies and bank accounts, yet theyre the ones getting all the pussy!!?!

so how/where did you guys meet your woman? at the rate im going, only extreme luck/fate is going to make me run into a girl as I basically work all day in an oil+h2s gas plant. then hang out at home alone.... not the best strategy for picking up women.

pretty much the only time I have a chance is when im driving around, or going to walmart or the local store, otherwise im a hermit.... sooo any advice or tips? I know beggars cant be choosers, and I have very high standards and am pretty shallow and brutally honest and pretty shy, maybe im just not meant to have a girl. maybe only time will tell, but im getting impatient!

 

[SandraSmithCarver]

Well, as a woman, I've had a lot of success meeting men for sex on the dating phone lines, I always demand a picture before I will even talk to them, otherwise, you have to develop some hobbies and interests besides just working all the time, learn to have fun

 

[loganxxx22]

Online dating will get you laid, but be prepared to go through as much hassle finding someone who isn't a flake or a liar as you would meeting them at a party or a bar.

You need to get over the not drinking thing and just go out of your comfort zone. You don't have to get shit faced, but liquor loosens everyone up and will take the edge off for you and her.

But the 2 BEST ways to date/get laid will always be:

(1)meet someone through a friend. You'll both feel more at ease knowing that someone has set you up with someone (hopefully) worth being around, which leads to #2.

(2) Weddings. If you can't get laid at a wedding then you need professional help. Single woman get into some genetic mating ritual and it just makes things very agreeable. I've gotten laid or dated someone from several weddings I've attended or been in (current gf included)

Good luck!

 

[loganxxx22]

By the way I had to live at home for a year and 1/2 when I got laid off from a job. Still got laid. I was just honest and said I'm saving $ til I got back on my feet and no one ever said anything nasty, and believe me I was worried about it. Dated 2 girls regularly around then and they didn't care. Plus I got to stay at their place and get some relief from living with the folks

 

[B_ordinarydude88]

yeah I hear ya but the thing is im way too picky which I should probably change. I dont like the taste of booze and find it hard to swallow/stomach so thats why I dont drink. beer and hard booze just doesnt taste good for me.. its the equivalent of people who like booze trying to drink piss.. it just doesnt taste good and makes me sick. maybe im just a pussy though? lol.

and its not living at home its embarassed of, its my little brothers and mom which first of all would be disrespectful IMO, and a little bit awkward. ive brought my first girlfriend here, we went out for 10 months and spent a lot of time hanging out in my room even though she never let me fuck her. but it was different because my GF worked with my mom so they knew each other, but bringing a random girl home would be kinda weird.. being as its a first and im shy and all that stupid shit that I worry too much about.

I dont necessarily just want to get laid, I would like to find a girlfriend. but im WWAAYY too picky, especially for a shithole hick town that I live in with 3000 people, its hard to find someone around here. I know everyone and everyone knows me...if something were to happen with a girl it would have happened alredy. the girl would have to be a 8 or 9 for looks AND body, cant smoke cigarettes, cant be a town slut, needs to be cool/chill, enjoy the things I enjoy, not stupid bimbo, blone hair, blue eyes, big tits, etc... basically she needs to be perfect which I know is impossible, it all boils down to beggars cant be choosers which I understand. and I also have way, WAYY too high of standards which doesnt help things.

maybe I just need to move to the city and start partying my ass off.. theres no doubt I could get laid that way, but thats not how I want to live my life.. spending hundreds of dollars a night just for a few hours of fun then feeling like shit for the next day or 2 afterwards just for 1-100 minutes of sex.

just kinda tired of being alone thats all. I got lots of thinking to do. lots of things I need to change, etc..

thanks for the help, advice, and tips. I appreciate them all.

 

[deleted356736]

I met my wife through what was then an introduction agency. I think they might be still around, but obviously not in a tiny town.

I wasn't a nightclub stay up all night drinking person myself, and I wouldn't go near a person who smoked. I have my standards, and while I don't mind people less intelligent than myself, I tend to come across as patronising or arrogant to many. My wife is an intelligent woman in her own right, and was wise beyond her years when we met (a product of a different culture). So we hit it off on first meeting, and the rest is history.

 

[B_ordinarydude88]

I wasn't a nightclub stay up all night drinking person myself, and I wouldn't go near a person who smoked. I have my standards, and while I don't mind people less intelligent than myself, I tend to come across as patronising or arrogant to many.

yup.. sounds exactly like me.

I think the bottom line is this shithole town im in. its known to be a joke, I really gotta get out of here.

 

[loganxxx22]

yup.. sounds exactly like me.

I think the bottom line is this shithole town im in. its known to be a joke, I really gotta get out of here.

I've been down that road too, and I was alone on that road lol. If you don't lighten up women will stay away, it's that simple. I had many of the same quirks, insecurities and only thing that helped was forcing myself to grow and get out of my comfort zone.

 

[B_ordinarydude88]

only thing that helped was forcing myself to grow and get out of my comfort zone.

Yup, im afraid thats what im going to have to do!

once I get this job in a week or two ill start to slowly party and drink *sigh* its only a matter of time before im getting my dick nice and wet in a girls tight, sticky pussy

 

[deleted356736]

I've been down that road too, and I was alone on that road lol. If you don't lighten up women will stay away, it's that simple. I had many of the same quirks, insecurities and only thing that helped was forcing myself to grow and get out of my comfort zone.

You have to be accomodating of all people in this world, but remember that women aren't mindless, and some or many are attracted to mature and intellectual men. And men with a good sense of humour too, of course! So don't be too serious, or negative.

We don't normally quote IQ in absolutes, but mine is in the top 3% of general population, which qualifies me for mensa. It truly is hard to come across as something you're not without it seeming fake. In my case, many who are less intelligent see me as either patronising or arrogant, no matter how hard I try. On the other hand, I have many friends and past lovers who were are are great minds in their own right, and we had and have wonderful times together.

At the time I met my wife I was living in a city of 3 million, and even now in a city of 600,000, I don't have problems. So maybe there's the answer.

 

[nevr2big]

To answer the question in your title, a sleazy pick up bar. And we've been together now for 17 years.

 

[petite]

TheBoyfriend was a friend of a friend, but we met at my regular hang-out with my friends, a coffeeshop. We just kept running into each other at the coffeeshop and at parties. Plus, the coffeeshop was on his regular running route after he worked out (which I do not believe was an accident) and as a consequence, EVERY SINGLE ONE of my female friends wanted him. Badly.

Maybe you could work out and run past some coffeeshops regularly, then come in for coffee all the time? Worked wonders for TheBoyfriend. The pretty boy is not an idiot.

But it only works if you're also unafraid to strike up conversations with strangers.

 

[B_crackoff]

1. Im 20 and still live with my mom , it also helps save me a TON of money

2. all I do is work and sleep. I have very little patience rarely hang out with my moron friends

I NEVER go to the bar,
dont go to college . im anti social, cant stand hanging around stupid people or drunk people so id rather be alone.

all my friends have destroyed bodies and bank accounts, yet theyre the ones getting all the pussy!!?!

beggars cant be choosers, and I have very high standards and am pretty shallow and brutally honest and pretty shy, im getting impatient!

You sound like an absolute dream!

Seriously, are you Hitler reborn, or a serial killer in the making? I've never criticized on the forum before, but this is a joke yes?

Look at the condensed version of what you wrote - it's a definition of classic sociopathic/ narcissistic personality disorder - i.e self centred/delusions of grandeur/over - indulgent parent/lack of empathy...

Narcissistic personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

It's you that doesn't fit in. If you can't change you'll have to move to a bigger city.

Don't ever own a gun.

 

[Titsdude21]

In a pub

 

[Clavain]

First off, Crackoff, weren't you ever a young adult? ease up on the guy, besides, sociopathty doesn't ask advice and certainly doesn't admit to needing some change, something ordinarydude888 certainly does.

Anyway, advice, sh-t. You remind me of myself at younger age so badly it's almost silly.
I could do a wall of text thing here, but will try to keep short instead, so.

You come across as very impatient, not just because you state so yourself, but because you feel that you want things to happen NOW. While a desire for change is good, the kind of change that comes totally from the outside, sweeps you up and changes your life is seldom the change you desire.
Look into changing yourself into being what you want to be instead of looking to fulfill yourself through others. You seem to believe that if you could just find the right people, a girl and/or companionship then everything will turn out great.
I think it's pretty likely that you're looking so hard that you don't see the forest for all the trees. Or. putting it bluntly, considering how hard you judge and seek, no woman (or man) with the top shelf looks and intelligence you desire will do anything else than steer well clear of you until you mature a bit. Also, it sounds likely that you don't really have any friends you respect enough to listen to or that care enough about you to tell you this.

If you were living in a big city you might get used for a bit of sex and dumped. Since you live in Hicksville and stay off the beaten meat market track. well, your lonely and frustrated. This is not necessarily bad, since it seems to have made way for introspection.

As for meeting more smart and fun people. Go to college or the uni. Bump those plans. If you absolutely positively CANNOT, then just get out of the house, go to some plays, go to some concerts. If/when you feel secure enough in yourself, get some therapy to help you conquer that social anxiety. The one certainty here is that your situation will not magically improve by itself. You say that you work all the time, that means you have commitment, use some of that commitment for yourself and change your situation. The only person who can do that, is you. All everyone else can do, is give you a push along the way. (or a kick in the ass, but for that, you have to know someone much better)

Anyway, university, that's where the people are. GO! Even if it means a trip some some debt. hell, if your as committed to athletics as you say, you might even end up with a scholarship. You seem like a smart guy, some reality immersion, humility and education will likely turn you very desirable, especially if you gain some more self confidence while still keeping the ability to be introspective.

Oh, about where i meet people, bars, plays, concerts, coffeshops, fetish clubs and for some F'ed up reason, train stations. don't ask me why on the last one but as one of life's little mysteries, large parts of my serious love life happens at train stations. And that's love life, pervs, not sex life

and, yeah, wall-of-text again. damn, happen to often.

 

[Calboner]

You sound like an absolute dream!

Seriously, are you Hitler reborn, or a serial killer in the making? I've never criticized on the forum before, but this is a joke yes?

Look at the condensed version of what you wrote - it's a definition of classic sociopathic/ narcissistic personality disorder - i.e self centred/delusions of grandeur/over - indulgent parent/lack of empathy...

Narcissistic personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

It's you that doesn't fit in. If you can't change you'll have to move to a bigger city.

Don't ever own a gun.

:tool:

You have no fucking idea what you are talking about.

 

[nicenycdick]

Trust your gut. It's telling you it's time to make a change. Move out...find a new job in a big city. Spread your wings. At 20, you should be pointing yourself towards something that makes you feel great, towards something you will do for the rest of your life. Don't waste another minute feeling sorry for yourself. Get up and experience life...don't let the fear control you. Be guided by a glorious future. Believe.

If none of that works...pay for sex.

What else can I say?

 

[B_talltpaguy]

I've been using a site called "plenty of fish" for years.

It's free and there is always lots of local pussy on there looking to get some good dick from a tall, hunky guy like myself.

 

[AlphaSpartan]

I know how you feel for the most part. The only area I differ is being antisocial... which I only am towards people who you can tell are idiots just by appearance (that's not shallow, that's psychology).

I've found that bookstores often have intelligent (and often attractive) women to talk to but that's about all. Every now and then when I'm out solely to drive with my windows down I'll look over and meet someone in traffic... they are rarely intelligent, though. I always try to get in a lane beside a biker; they tend to talk to me since I drive a muscle car.

1. Im 20 and still live with my mom as she has a huge house which is too big for her, so I help her out with house stuff and rent, it also helps save me a TON of money by living at home still. this doesnt help.

This is what motels are good for... or even the back seat.

2. all I do is work and sleep. I have very little patience and stupidity just drives me crazy, which is why I rarely hang out with my moron friends who drink all day every day. that doesnt help.

Same situation with the friends, only mine refuse to get jobs... and even with all my knowledge and experience I'm having a hard time getting one.

I also cant stand cigarette and cigarette smoke which seems to be everywhere, it pisses me off to the point where I dont even hang out with my friends. 9/10 people I know smoke so id rather be alone.

I fully agree with that. My friends have learned to leave me alone if they want to smoke. I do vocals for heavy metal so I can't have my voice ruined either.

all my friends have destroyed bodies and bank accounts, yet theyre the ones getting all the pussy!!?!

That's just how much of the world is now. I wouldn't envy them though, the irresponsible spending, cultural dieting, and pussy they're getting might feel good now but it's the long run that counts.

Too bad you live thousands of miles from me. You sound like the kind of man I try to befriend.

Trust your gut. It's telling you it's time to make a change. Move out...find a new job in a big city. Spread your wings. At 20, you should be pointing yourself towards something that makes you feel great, towards something you will do for the rest of your life. Don't waste another minute feeling sorry for yourself. Get up and experience life...don't let the fear control you. Be guided by a glorious future. Believe.

I wholeheartedly agree with this. It's exactly what I'd be doing if I was financially able.

If none of that works...pay for sex.

I strongly disagree with this. Paying for sex shows that you're desperate. Real women hate desperate men, it shows one has no self-respect or discipline.

 

[bigbulgelicker45]

When I was younger we didn't have computers and the only way to meet people was at the bar (I think dating services were expensive and were few and far between) but at 20 its only natural to become your own person. And yes there's a lot of anxiety as well.

Find some new friends who share your common interests. Through my best friend in high school I met a couple of people and we had a blast with our lives. I wasn't a party animal but did become one and I think it loosened me up. In the years we hung around together as a group those were the best years before we eventually went our own ways.

A friend of mine who I used to work with still has high standards for the type of man she wants to meet (and I guess always had) and she's going to be 49 in a couple of weeks and is still single. She can't understand why (high standards and won't change them) but she's traveled the globe (and I think sometimes by herself) has a decent job but is miserable with her personal life.

Live life with an open mind. You never know what you'll learn!