where did you guys meet your girl/wife/fuck buddy?

[petite]

I'm going to repeat what I said earlier: coffeeshop + running

You're 20, so you can't get into bars, and that's a bad scene to find women in anyway. It sounds like you're fit, so take a cue from TheBoyfriend and do what he did that made all my female friends want him. He'd run by the coffeeshops on his running route after he worked out, and he came into the coffeeshop all the time. He'd stop and talk to anyone he knew or met before if he saw them, regardless if he was running, and he was just super nice and friendly and talkative and all my friends adored him. If you've got a body, running is a good way to show it off!

 

[hud01]

I strongly disagree with this. Paying for sex shows that you're desperate. Real women hate desperate men, it shows one has no self-respect or discipline.

The only female who is going to know is the provider. He won't have a sign on his back that says I went to a hooker.

It might help calm him down and relax him.

 

[Notaguru2]

Craigslist = guaranteed ass and little effort if you just want to get laid.

 

[hud01]

I am having a hard time meeting girls for lots of reasons.

1. Im 20 and still live with my mom as she has a huge house which is too big for her, so I help her out with house stuff and rent, it also helps save me a TON of money by living at home still. this doesnt help.

That is going to help you big time when you go to buy a house.

2. all I do is work and sleep. I have very little patience and stupidity just drives me crazy, which is why I rarely hang out with my moron friends who drink all day every day. that doesnt help.

Then they aren't your friends and you aren't theirs, if this is what you think of them.

3. I live in a tiny town and dont drink. im not a bar fly like everyone else, matter of fact I NEVER go to the bar, nor do I drink or smoke, so that doesnt help.

Who says you have to drink at a bar. It is a place to go socialize. They have things called club soda, coke, and virgin marys.

4. I dont go to college and dont plan on it anytime soon so that doesnt help.

This one confuses me. Why not? Were you a bad student, or do you not know what you want to study? College is the best place to meet women. Never again in your life will you have some many girls your age in one location.

Also it helps you grow up, which I get the feeling you need to do.

5. im pretty shy and anti social, cant stand hanging around stupid people or drunk people (same thing). I also cant stand cigarette and cigarette smoke which seems to be everywhere, it pisses me off to the point where I dont even hang out with my friends. 9/10 people I know smoke so id rather be alone.

A lot of anger about alcohol and cigs...Ease up a little.

the only good thing about everything ive said is that im super healthy/fit, and ive got lots of money, whereas all my friends have destroyed bodies and bank accounts, yet theyre the ones getting all the pussy!!?!

Many girls like fit guys, but they also want a confident guy, so you need to work on that.

so how/where did you guys meet your woman? at the rate im going, only extreme luck/fate is going to make me run into a girl as I basically work all day in an oil+h2s gas plant. then hang out at home alone.... not the best strategy for picking up women.

pretty much the only time I have a chance is when im driving around, or going to walmart or the local store, otherwise im a hermit.... sooo any advice or tips? I know beggars cant be choosers, and I have very high standards and am pretty shallow and brutally honest and pretty shy, maybe im just not meant to have a girl. maybe only time will tell, but im getting impatient!

Have to lose the high standards and shallow part. You can want a pretty girl, but you are not going to get Miss Canada.

Hermits don't get girls either. You have to join clubs, play sports, go to the bars. Volunteer for some civic group. Travel to bigger towns and cities near you. Join a health club, many women like fit men, but just don't obsess about it.

Oh yeah, met mine online.

 

[hud01]

I'm going to repeat what I said earlier: coffeeshop + running

You're 20, so you can't get into bars, and that's a bad scene to find women in anyway. It sounds like you're fit, so take a cue from TheBoyfriend and do what he did that made all my female friends want him. He'd run by the coffeeshops on his running route after he worked out, and he came into the coffeeshop all the time. He'd stop and talk to anyone he knew or met before if he saw them, regardless if he was running, and he was just super nice and friendly and talkative and all my friends adored him. If you've got a body, running is a good way to show it off!

He is in Canada, so I think he can go to a bar.:biggrin1:

 

[hud01]

and its not living at home its embarassed of, its my little brothers and mom which first of all would be disrespectful IMO, and a little bit awkward. ive brought my first girlfriend here, we went out for 10 months and spent a lot of time hanging out in my room even though she never let me fuck her. but it was different because my GF worked with my mom so they knew each other, but bringing a random girl home would be kinda weird.. being as its a first and im shy and all that stupid shit that I worry too much about.

With this one at some point you are going to have to have a sit down with your mother to establish ground rules. If her rule is not being able to bring girls home, then you wouild need to say to her, then I need to move out, to gauge where she is on this.

She might not mind as much as you think.

I used to bring any girl that I dated more than a month home with me. Screwed a couple of them in the family room after everyone else had gone to bed, but that is me.

 

[AlphaSpartan]

The only female who is going to know is the provider. He won't have a sign on his back that says I went to a hooker.

It might help calm him down and relax him.

Physical signs aren't always the most apparent. He seems like a self-respecting man which tend to have huge consciences. Getting a hooker would be psychological suicide. You can't be confident when your mind is your enemy.

Hermits don't get girls either. You have to join clubs, play sports, go to the bars. Volunteer for some civic group. Travel to bigger towns and cities near you. Join a health club, many women like fit men, but just don't obsess about it.

I agree with this. Continue taking care of your body but you've also got to work on your mind. Only way to do that is get in the field and play hardball; get some scrapes, break a few bones, set time apart for recovery and use what you learned... all of that is metaphorical, of course.

Oh yeah, met mine online.

Kudos. I wouldn't have the patience.

 

[wseattle]

I found her in scotland

 

[B_quietguy]

I met both of my current partners through friends. If you are adept at making and keeping friendships, then meeting partners becomes that much easier. For one, good friends expand your social network by leaps and bounds so you get in contact with more people. Secondly, good friends help you develop your social/communication skills so that when you do meet people, you can make a good and lasting impression on them.

 

[mariamluvsEMbig]

me...i meet them at a bar or a club...that way you can always see how well the guy can move his hips ;-)

if you're the ladies man giving advice to a woman about where to meet a guy "standing outside the men's restroom always works or you can meet a guy at a stripclub..."

 

[petite]

Am I the only one who has never met someone in a bar to have a relationship with? I've been in a lot of relationships, too, and the whole bar scene is only good for one night stands IMO.

Hold it, sorry, I did meet someone very wealthy who asked me to marry him, but I didn't realize that we were dating. Long story... I said no. (Evidence yet again that maybe you should stay out of the bars!)

Besides, he hates cigarette smoke and all that. Coffeeshops are not much better for cigarette smokers, but at least you'll find lots of people who read a lot.

 

[wseattle]

Am I the only one who has never met someone in a bar to have a relationship with? I've been in a lot of relationships, too, and the whole bar scene is only good for one night stands IMO.

Hold it, sorry, I did meet someone very wealthy who asked me to marry him, but I didn't realize that we were dating. Long story... I said no. (Evidence yet again that maybe you should stay out of the bars!)

Besides, he hates cigarette smoke and all that. Coffeeshops are not much better for cigarette smokers, but at least you'll find lots of people who read a lot.

Its strange but even though i dont smoke, most of the ladies i have been with have been smokers..wonder why lol

 

[hud01]

Am I the only one who has never met someone in a bar to have a relationship with? I've been in a lot of relationships, too, and the whole bar scene is only good for one night stands IMO.

Hold it, sorry, I did meet someone very wealthy who asked me to marry him, but I didn't realize that we were dating. Long story... I said no. (Evidence yet again that maybe you should stay out of the bars!)

Besides, he hates cigarette smoke and all that. Coffeeshops are not much better for cigarette smokers, but at least you'll find lots of people who read a lot.

I have had several one night stands from bar meetings, but I have also had 3 or 4 ltr relationships where we met in a bar. One town I worked in one of the bars really doubled as a social club, over half the single people living or working there would stop in at least once a month.

You had a stockbroker sitting next to the mechanic, next to the off duty policeman, and they has all gone to school together.

With the coffee shops, you get women who are pissed from being interupted while trying to read.

 

[hud01]

Kudos. I wouldn't have the patience.

It didn't take that long we chatted for about 3 months, then I went to visit her twice, she came to my place and a month later moved here. It lasted almost 12 years.

 

[petite]

I have had several one night stands from bar meetings, but I have also had 3 or 4 ltr relationships where we met in a bar. One town I worked in one of the bars really doubled as a social club, over half the single people living or working there would stop in at least once a month.

You had a stockbroker sitting next to the mechanic, next to the off duty policeman, and they has all gone to school together.

With the coffee shops, you get women who are pissed from being interupted while trying to read.

Weird, I've met so many men who said something intelligent about the book I was reading and I ended up with them...

Actually, the very first thing TheBoyfriend ever said to me was about the book I was reading! Ha!

That's hilarious!

For the life of me I can't remember what it was he said.

 

[Captain Elephant]

I met my wife in a club I was playing. She went with some girlfriends. Normally, when I scan a crowd from the stage I rarely just see faces, but all of a sudden there was no one else in there but her. She just kind of had a glow about her and our eyes locked; then she smiled. Believe it or not, I got very self-conscious! I've been a musician for 20 years at the time, and it feels perfectly natural to be the center of attention on stage.

When our set was done I hesitated about going out to meet her, but then I figured I better jump in or regret it forever. My pickup line was "Hey." We've been married 11 years.

Now before that I was probably the most amoral person you'd never want to meet. Let's say I was indiscriminate about my hook-ups. How I never died of an STD is beyond me.

So, dude, join a band. Seriously. It will get you laid faster than you can pop a G-string (on a guitar). I don't know of anyone if my vast circle of music friends who's a saint for long.

Me, I cleaned up my act about two years before meeting my love. Guess I was waiting for her.

 

[B_ordinarydude88]

:tool:

You have no fucking idea what you are talking about.

ok first of all, theres been TONS of advice since I last checked, and I read and acknowledged each and every post and really appreciate them. so dont think your post went ignored if I didnt quote you in this wall of text post im about to make!.

ps: I completely agree calboner, what a tool.

Too bad you live thousands of miles from me. You sound like the kind of man I try to befriend..

you too man, you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and sound like you would be a good, straght, friend for me to have.

Craigslist = guaranteed ass and little effort if you just want to get laid.

nah, not where im from. tiny little hick farming town, one set of stop lights, 3000 people etc.. I would have to make a 1 or 3 hour drive to the nearest city, and even then its just to fuck. at this point im interested in looking for a relationship, not just a fuck buddy. and a career not just a job.

also, I find CL (or kijiji up here in canada) is 90% guys lookin to hook up.. if youre a truly hot woman, you will have no problem meeting guys so most of the time the internet isnt needed. IMO most women that post on CL are kinda "weird" for lack of a better word.

Then they aren't your friends and you aren't theirs, if this is what you think of them.


This one confuses me. Why not? Were you a bad student, or do you not know what you want to study? College is the best place to meet women. Never again in your life will you have some many girls your age in one location.


A lot of anger about alcohol and cigs...Ease up a little.


Many girls like fit guys, but they also want a confident guy, so you need to work on that.

thanks for the advice, you are brutally honest which is what I need.

youre right, they arent my friends. just people I hang out with once in a blue moon and wave to on the street. otherwise theyre just mooching off me as ive always got money, toys (dirtbikes and stuff) etc... not friends at all which is why I havnt talked to them in weeks.

no im not a bad student. I am a 1st year pipefitter in an oil and gas plant. I am having trouble getting hired as a 1st year so im taking labourer jobs and stuff... IF I can ever get back on as a pipefitter, I need 1200 hours and 8 months of experience as a pipefitter THEN I can go to college for 6-8 weeks to become a 2nd year. thats what I meant.

alcohol doesnt make me angry, im just really picky about what I eat or drink, goes back to being a helth nut kinda. I dont drink pop or anything. milk or juice and thats about it. but cigarettes make me angry, I dont need to be getting lung cancer, or aky kind of cancer, when im 30 years old just because my asshole friends find it ok to blow their second hand smoke in my face. this isnt going to change, but smoking cigarettes IMO is THE dumbest thing a peson can do. its just so retarded and aggravtes the hell out of me. disgusting, unhealthy, expensive, 0 benefits and about 45,000 cons, etc...

yes, youre right, I def need to work on the confidence. ive had several girls, and a 30 year old woman yesterday, tell me that im very good looking, but I def have a confidence problem that hve had since I was about 5, for the past 15 years so its not going to be too easy to change.

With this one at some point you are going to have to have a sit down with your mother to establish ground rules. If her rule is not being able to bring girls home, then you wouild need to say to her, then I need to move out, to gauge where she is on this.

She might not mind as much as you think.

I used to bring any girl that I dated more than a month home with me. Screwed a couple of them in the family room after everyone else had gone to bed, but that is me.

no, she wouldnt mind, its just that im super respectful and would find it kinda awkward. shes doing a nice thing by letting me live with her and all this, so I dont want to take granted of it. Im probably just overthinking it and being paranoid. ive brought a girl or 2 over before, we never fucked, but as far as my mom knows we did fuck. and shes never said anything.

Besides, he hates cigarette smoke and all that. Coffeeshops are not much better for cigarette smokers.

ok I dont know exactly what you mean by this.. and im not sure if its the same in the USA or not. but in canada, smoking is now highly banned in indoor places, and I dont even think you can smoke within 3 or 5 meters of a door either. not 100% sure about the door thing though.



thanks for all the advice and help guys and girls, I really appreciate it. I cant help but feeling im telling you all my life story and am just being an overthinking, paranoid, idiot. but I just need to hear some reassuring words to help me out a little bit. im also learning things from this thread so that doesnt help.

thank you all!

 

[petite]

Smoking is banned indoors here, but I tend to like sitting outside with the smokers, many of whom are my friends. I'm a people watcher, and I like saying hi to the people I know who pass by. But you're right, you can sit inside!

 

[B_blackrabbit]

I met my partner on gaydar.... and before there are boos and hisses, i always said gaydar was what you made it.

I had plenty of random shags off the site prior to meeting him (we had chatted many times but never met) I always had quite strong views that while gaydar was thought of as a meat market, you could make good friends, fucks and everything in between. And im not shy to say over the years i had mant FB's and friends from the site.

but 4 years later were still together and quite content......I always think its not how you met but how you last that is important

 

[mariamluvsEMbig]

I met my wife in a club I was playing. She went with some girlfriends. Normally, when I scan a crowd from the stage I rarely just see faces, but all of a sudden there was no one else in there but her. She just kind of had a glow about her and our eyes locked; then she smiled. Believe it or not, I got very self-conscious! I've been a musician for 20 years at the time, and it feels perfectly natural to be the center of attention on stage.

When our set was done I hesitated about going out to meet her, but then I figured I better jump in or regret it forever. My pickup line was "Hey." We've been married 11 years.

Now before that I was probably the most amoral person you'd never want to meet. Let's say I was indiscriminate about my hook-ups. How I never died of an STD is beyond me.

So, dude, join a band. Seriously. It will get you laid faster than you can pop a G-string (on a guitar). I don't know of anyone if my vast circle of music friends who's a saint for long.

Me, I cleaned up my act about two years before meeting my love. Guess I was waiting for her.

that's cute...