Where Do Bi-Curious Guys Hook Up?
- Thread starter earllogjam
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Haha. Ain't that the truth.
Lord knows I've seen my share of Craigslist ads from professional homos posing as bi-curious straight men. I think most of those internet sites are a major waste of time.
You can go to the Gay.com chat rooms for the fastest results. There is ALWAYS someone looking. You do have to sign up, but it's free to chat and post a quick profile.
Of course, you gotta be careful cause there are a lot of crazies on that site. So i recommend you just chat about something normal first and see how they react.
Of course, you gotta be careful cause there are a lot of crazies on that site. So i recommend you just chat about something normal first and see how they react.
thats cool, i personally would never meet anyone at a gloryhole. thats just asking for trouble, of the unseen kind :wink:
I avoided the "gay scene" until I was nearly 30. I'm 36 now and have been regularly going to the local gay bars for over 6 years. I've hooked up a couple of times, but mostly I hate it and wish there was another way to meet men. squirt.org, craigslist, and similar sites (manhunt, adam4adam, men4sexnow, etc.) only work if you live near a big city.
earllogjam, I'd love to know how you "seduced" those straight guys. I've known other men who were able to do that, but never had the ability to spot "straight" guys who could be seduced. Even if I could identify them, I wouldn't know how to go about seducing them.
Although some bisexual/bicurious guys never hook up with other men, it seems like a lot of them do. In fact, from this forum you'd almost get the impression that they are more successful at hooking up with men than those of us who are openly gay. (As a side note, I have a love-hate relationship with all those websites featuring straight-identified men having gay sex. Those "straight" guys have had more sex with men than I have, and better sex to, and yet supposedly they don't even like it, they're just doing it for the money. It's so unfair. It's just not right.)
Anyway, I'd love to know how bi guys manage to meet other men if it's not through the gay scene.
earllogjam, I'd love to know how you "seduced" those straight guys. I've known other men who were able to do that, but never had the ability to spot "straight" guys who could be seduced. Even if I could identify them, I wouldn't know how to go about seducing them.
Although some bisexual/bicurious guys never hook up with other men, it seems like a lot of them do. In fact, from this forum you'd almost get the impression that they are more successful at hooking up with men than those of us who are openly gay. (As a side note, I have a love-hate relationship with all those websites featuring straight-identified men having gay sex. Those "straight" guys have had more sex with men than I have, and better sex to, and yet supposedly they don't even like it, they're just doing it for the money. It's so unfair. It's just not right.)
Anyway, I'd love to know how bi guys manage to meet other men if it's not through the gay scene.
B_bicepguy
Just Browsing
CRUISING for SEX
cruise grounds are risky - violence, robbery etc but a huge anount of sex gets had at them. eg i met a 19 yr old guy this week - obviously not gay, locally we'd call him a chav.
sauans/sex baths? part of the scene i suppose but no social interacion required..
cruise grounds are risky - violence, robbery etc but a huge anount of sex gets had at them. eg i met a 19 yr old guy this week - obviously not gay, locally we'd call him a chav.
sauans/sex baths? part of the scene i suppose but no social interacion required..
Hmmm...I can just picture some of those cute nerds tossing their glasses aside, grabbing another guy buy his red tie, and tearing off his navy blazer and white dress shirt.
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This has always been a problem for me since I live out in the boondocks. But I've had the most success by going to clothing optional hot springs, spas, etc. That way everyone gets to check out the merchandise before making a move. It's not terribly difficult to communicate your interest, even in a g-rated, family oriented environment. That's how I hooked up with the guys in the attached pics.
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Sounds like instead of asking, you need to be teaching:wink: .
Are you openly bi? How can you tell that they are open to even approach the subject? Even when I think I'm getting a "vibe", I'm afraid that I will be wrong and totally embarrassed.
Teaching? OK here goes. Logjam's tips to seducing Regular Joes:
1. First of all you can never spot a bi guy just by looking but I approach people much the same way regardless. If you find a guy you find attractive and want to meet just find a way to make a connection in a natural casual manner. Ask an inocent opened ended question that can turn into a conversation easily. Avoid any personal, appearance or overtly gay questions or remarks. You don't want to creep them out or scare them away and make them think you are coming on to them from the start. This is easier at a sporting event, museum, grocery store where you can just ask about something innocent but relevant to the situation, something not personal nor gay related. Just act casual. Smile. Look into the person's eyes. Keep it lighthearted and humorous. If you get a guy to laugh you score a lot of points quickly. Most of the time you don't get much time establishing a connection so humor works well. You need to establish a comfort level before anything else can happen. I got to know the rancher sitting next to me at the game after we ordered the same angus beef burger and started talking about beef and some shared interests. He held my stare a bit longer than most guys so that is when I knew there was some potential there. We had a few beers and we went to the john to pee in a troff urinal where I caught him checking me out. That was when I knew this married guy could be had.
2. The trick is to get to that comfort level and find out if they are willing to play with you. You need to read body language and their eye, and facial expressions. A trick I've used to test their receptivity to man sex is after you've talked for a while and established a connection - shake their hand introducing yourself looking into his eyes and keep holding it while making small talk about something else. If he keeps holding on to your hand it is a good indication that he may be interested in you sexually. It is a subtle and non-threatning way of letting him know you are interested. I used this on the mechanical contractor and it worked.
3. Most bi-curious guys in my experience don't want to be labled gay or to have any association with gay men. They are self identified straight men who most likely will run if they think you as a gay man are coming on to them. So don't mention anything gay, effeminate or imply or insunate that they or you are gay in any way. It's sooo easy for them to say "NO". Approach sex just as two regular guys looking to get off and frame it in those terms. Never mention the work "gay" or anything romantic. That label of "gay" sex is a turn off for most all of them.
4. Once you get them at your place try your best to make an awkward situation casual and comfortable for them. They usually know what it is all about by then but are usually embarrassed to make the first move or terrified about it all. You need to ease into things and make it seem like it is no big thing - perfectly acceptable for 2 guys to "mess around". They need to keep their straight identity intact regardless of what they do sexually so just play along with their denial. Mentioning stories about my ex-girlfriends help with their comfort level. I have used straight porn videos as prelude to sex. Also an innocent shoulder rub can lead to bolder things. A dip in the hot tub with a beer or two also can help loosen inhibitions. You will need to time your advances appropriatley, coming on too fast too soon will result in rejection - once a guy says "no thanks" there is usually no changing his mind even if he is having second thoughts about being serviced, so you will be SOL.
5. Any sense of you putting up an act and not genuine will usually end immediately in rejection. The idea is to build some trust so they can share something with you that they hold as deep dark secret.
6. Mind you some guys may not be operating on the same wavelength as you and you'll need to read whether or not you are barking up the wrong tree to prevent your teeth from being kicked out. That said - I have yet to experienced any violence or negative outcomes from any of my hook ups.
If any other of you guys out there have any more tips for picking up bi-curious guys in public places please post them.
One of my best friends is supposedly "straight"! However, back in January he was bicurious and has always been interested in going to the gay bars and clubs. I keep noticing him staring at my crotch when sitting across from him or laying down on the sofa. I have also noticed that he watches me when I am naked too.
He said things would be much easier for him if society was more fair. He also told me that his parents are rather conservative, and that hinders his feelings as well. He has been in two long term relationships with women (one was 1 year and the other was a 3-4 year off and on relationship)but never seems happy with them, and only seems to keep them around as a friend. He also has expressed he does not want kids and wants that in his partner as well. He currently lives in NYC, but would consider a second home in San Francisco, Seattly, Chicago, Washington, D.C., where we lived previously, Vancouver and Portland Oregon.
When I talk to him my gaydar goes off BIG time and he always holds eye contact with me very well. I asked him where he is on the spectrum and he siad he does not believe in black and white, but shades of gray. He said at first he was a 90 on a scale of a 100 being completely straight. I believe he is more like a 20 or 30 than he actually purports to be, but he is deeply closeted at this time. As I stated before he enjoys the gay clubs and bars, and takes me to them when we go at times. He however, does go to the mixed clubs I prefer as well.
All of my gay friends thought him and I were having a relationship, because they thought or know he is gay and we hang out all the time. He is truly a wonderful guy, but he just needs some direction in life, to be a bit more comfortable with himself.
What should I do?
He said things would be much easier for him if society was more fair. He also told me that his parents are rather conservative, and that hinders his feelings as well. He has been in two long term relationships with women (one was 1 year and the other was a 3-4 year off and on relationship)but never seems happy with them, and only seems to keep them around as a friend. He also has expressed he does not want kids and wants that in his partner as well. He currently lives in NYC, but would consider a second home in San Francisco, Seattly, Chicago, Washington, D.C., where we lived previously, Vancouver and Portland Oregon.
When I talk to him my gaydar goes off BIG time and he always holds eye contact with me very well. I asked him where he is on the spectrum and he siad he does not believe in black and white, but shades of gray. He said at first he was a 90 on a scale of a 100 being completely straight. I believe he is more like a 20 or 30 than he actually purports to be, but he is deeply closeted at this time. As I stated before he enjoys the gay clubs and bars, and takes me to them when we go at times. He however, does go to the mixed clubs I prefer as well.
All of my gay friends thought him and I were having a relationship, because they thought or know he is gay and we hang out all the time. He is truly a wonderful guy, but he just needs some direction in life, to be a bit more comfortable with himself.
What should I do?
yngjock20
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Yeah, that's why I got off of squirt. Besides, it's always the same people that go to the same places so you never meet anyone new...or actually "bi."
Honestly, it's really difficult to find a place that's not as gay, but still has all of the ammenities of a gay spot.
In my area, there is (I should say was) a spot that alot of bi-curious men go to...but since it's popularity has increased, more and more openly gay men (read "queens") have been frequenting it; and thus diminishing the bi men percentage.
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In my experience, finding sex partners is the eternal question!
Think of the odds: gay/bi men are supposedly, what, 10% of the population?
Of that 10%, You have to be in the right place to meet people.
Of that percent, they have to be single and also looking.
And of that percent (here comes the big trip-up), they have to be mutually attracted & interested.
Slim odds at best.
Now, we'll narrow it down even further... If You, like me, are more attracted to straight/bi curious guys, Your odds are cut down dramatically.
And those of us who prefer big cocks - now Your chances are TRULY slim.
Have a particular ethnic type, body type, age, etc You like or dislike? Kiss it bye-bye.
It doesn't help me that I have no tolerance for blaring dance/trance music giving me headaches in bars, tho that's apparently where a lot of people have a good deal of luck.
I've personally never gotten lucky through the internet (but I'm still trying!), tho a lot of guys seem to.
Baths? They're hit and miss. I've had some luck in them (especially in Los Angeles). There are only two left here in NYC, but they're the most godawful of any I've ever been to. I check them out a few times a month cos they're they only game in town.
...But I'm as stuck for answers on where & how to find sex as anyone else.
The guy who can bottle & sell the answer to this will undoubtedly become VERY wealthy! :biggrin1:
I agree with you that the odds are not great but it's funny that regardless of how slim those odds are we wind up finding each other somehow.
This is an interesting post, Meniscus. This is my view about what you've said. I don't think a lot of guys who identify as bi or straight are as interested in having sex with other men in the same way guys who identify as gay do. I know myself that if I meet a guy who i think is attractive and the feeling is mutual, then I might go ahead and see where it goes. But I need to feel that attraction first, which doesn't happen to me all the time. I'm not looking for sex with guys most of the time, so I feel I'm not missing something. Hope this makes sense.
:biggrin1:
bi curious guys are hooking up on boats all over the world, so join the navy
and where are bi curious girls hooking up? in every single college dormitory!
and where are bi curious girls hooking up? in every single college dormitory!
I was on a cruise ship recently and I met a hot guy in the ship's steamroom. We flirted some but he seemed like he wasn't interested. I came on like a whore and exhanged a few words but nothing came of it. Later that evening I went to a show and at the end of the show they saluted the crew members of the ship. There he was on stage front row center, a big hunky manly officer in his navy blue uniform - Hotel Director of the ship, number 2 man on the 2500 passenger cruise ship. He had a British accent making a few words of welcome and a joke or two. I was shocked that I openly cruised him and a bit embarrassed about the whole thing. Well, walking out of the ship theater after the show the crew lined up at the exits to meet and greet the guests. He is at my exit. I thought what the hell, no use denying what happened in the steamroom just own up to it. He held my gaze and gave me a smile and nod. I didn't know what to think.
Later that night there was a lady's night out male strip show in a nighclub in the ship and lo and behold he was there in the back observing with some other crew officials. All were in their dress uniforms so I thought it was some sort of job related supervision they did to make sure these types of shows didn't get out of hand. I got the nerve to approach him while standing at the back of the room in his officer's uniform during the show and he immediately recognized me and started shaking my hand. Big smile. I mentioned to him I was sorry about steamroom incident and that I didn't know who he was at the time. Well he stopped shaking my hand and just held it for the longest time, perhaps a minute or two. He then said that it didn't bother him and asked if I was bothered by it. I said no. I got a definite jolt afterwards. We released hands and I let the other one brush his uniformed butt. We stood very close to each other in the back of the room and made some small talk amidst the loud music. He introduced himself and asked my name in an official kind of way. He was with other officers so I couldn't make a move that night. I had fantasies in my sleep after that - next day I struck up the nerve to call him on the ship's phone but could not reach him. I would be crazy to be able to connect with the number 2 man on the ship I thought, oh well.
This was the night before the last day of the cruise. Walking round the ship about an hour after I had tried reaching him on the phone, I ran into him on the aft deck. He hailed me with a big smile, apologized for not returning my call as it was pretty busy on board and shook my hand again. I asked him if he had any free time in port. "Yes. Of course," he said in his British accent. Wow. "Would you like to meet? I think my hotel has a steamroom." I joked. We ended up meeting in a hotel room he arranged on shore. I had some wild sex starved sailor sex. He said he couldn't play on board being the hotel director and all. I asked if he had a guy in every port and he just smiled and said he was married. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought he would swing my way. It was the best souvenir of the cruise.
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