Where do people meet and hookup?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by cjc2806, Sep 27, 2008.

  1. cjc2806

    cjc2806 Member

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    I must be missing something, because I go out and around in my simple life and I never run into attractive women my age. im a 30 year old guy, living in a small town region in western NY , ways south of Buffalo, NY.

    It seems like everyone else is with everyone else. I dont care if I go to bars, god knows there are enough of them around here, There are not many impressive women in them anyways, and the few there are there, they are in groups of other women having girls night out, or hooked up with guys....I dont drink, I will have one, I know more how to pour many drinks than drink them myself. Im really not supposed to have drinks, because of medication, diabetes and stuff, but one wont kill me, Im better off with a diet soda or bottled water, I usually honestly get dehydrated at bars when im there.

    My work keeps me from going out many weekends. but there have got to be other ways to run into people...Im off this Sunday meaning I can go out Saturday night, but I have a cold and raspy throat, and it just seems like here I get a night to go out but I feel like shit because of the cold I have.....part of it is saving money because of gas prices.

    But being 30 and having a long running period of time not being lucky in love, I feel more urgency to go out as much as possible , but often times after I go home, I feel like I wasted time and money going to bars, and drank something that made me feel odd with my meds, without running into women. I feel kinda screwed, not in the fun way. I read message boards like ones on this website, and where are people finding all the hot sex.

    I mean, Im not hideous. Im not for everybody, not a crowd pleaser, ...but someone's got to find me somewhat attractive....but then again , how would i know if i never run into young attractive ladies to even say hello to.
     
  2. Rikter8

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    Do you exercise or diet correctly to keep your diabetes in check?

    The world is a shallow place generally.... but most importantly if you are healthy, then keep looking.

    If your NOT exercising and keeping it in check...then I would be more worried about your health and longevity, and many women may look for the same thing.
    I would imagine a good woman is in it for the Long haul. If you don't look healthy to her, she's going to walk on by. (Healthy NOT meaning ripped)
     
  3. cjc2806

    cjc2806 Member

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    I keep it in check...the cholesterol went up, but I have a new pill for that, my sugar and everything , blood pressure is ok..

    The sick thing is Im used to having women pass me up, it feels like the norm, it has been for several years...Its a disgusting lonely feeling....

    Now I never run into any anyways, but I dont know the first thing of what to do if i did run into one...Im not used to being in places to meet women and really become connected.
     
  4. Hippie Hollow Girl

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    What do you enjoy doing? What are your interests?

    Bars and clubs are probably not the best place for you to meet women.....because of the diabetes. One drink won't hurt you.....but what are the chances that you will meet a woman that doesn't like to drink at a bar or a club?

    Down here where I live in Texas ......road bike riding is very popular with women. It would be a great way to meet women friends. There's lots of organized bike rides. You just get involved in a bike club.....Or attend organized bike rides. Most of the riders are female. (Females like bike riding because it is something they can do without causing knee and joint problems) Most women have to do some form of exercise to keep in shape and stay healthy. Anyways it is a suggestion.

    I notice that you appear to like swimming. Maybe join a swim club.

    Meeting women in the grocery store.....Play dumb and ask for help with recipe items.

    If you are not a pet owner.....purchase a cute little Pomeranian puppy. I swear those dogs are chick magnets. Or that is what my husband and brother in laws swear.....Single guys always want to borrow my dogs. They want to take my dog for a walk to the park. It is true.....the females flock to see my Pomeranian.

    Also it has been said that my young son is a chick magnet too. He always has been. So maybe you can borrow a cute baby boy (babysit)......or a young boy about the age of 2 to 4 years old......take him to the park.....and see if females approach you to talk (casual conversation)

    College campus hang out's are another place you might meet some good quality women.

    This is all I can think of at the moment.

    Good luck
     
  5. idaho69

    idaho69 New Member

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    Recently I've got involved in ballroom dancing. Take lessons, join a dance club or two. Lots of women are always looking for partners.

    Join a church. Find one you like. Ideally a larger one with a singles group. Great way to meet a good class of women.

    Check out the singles clubs in your area. Their planned activities can be a good way to stay busy and meet a variety of people. These tend to be people closer to middle age, though, so check the age range before you leap.

    Check for clubs/groups that are based on any hobbies or interests you may have. If you don't have any hobbies or interests, develop some.

    Look around for volunteer work. Find something that involves working directly with other people.

    Consider a parttime job that allows you to meet people. Make a little extra money and try to find work you like to do.

    Stay off the couch, away from the tv, and stay busy!! Busy people are not boring people.
     
  6. 8060

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    kadtxgrl gave great advice on venues to meet some nice women. I was thinking about college campuses too. That's where I meet a lot of attractive women and I'm not even enrolled in college. Church is also a good place. On Sunday, they would more than like dressed in their best and you'd have the opportunity to strut your stuff as well and put a good confident foot forward. You're more apt to find one there that doesn't drink heavily, presumably:smile:.

    The business district in your downtown area during lunch when everyone is out and about might be a good spot. I see a lot of attractive women at stage plays and shows on nights out in the city. Try to place yourself in settings where mature events are going on. Dinner parties, book clubs. Weddings are a great place.

    If all else fails, you could try placing a personal ad stating your preferences and see you get a bite.

    Happy hunting and good luck!
     
  7. Jovial

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    Dude, 40% of your posts were starting new threads. You sound extremely horny. Just go out and lower your standards. If you're willing to give some women that aren't ideal a shot, then you shouldn't have any problem finding women and sex.
     
  8. D_Selmus_Swallow

    D_Selmus_Swallow Account Disabled

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    This site, for better or worse, reminds me often that I'm in a large boat with a lot of other people.

    Any way... it's probably more helpful to know what you would consider the qualities of an "attractive" woman and go from there with suggestions.

    Bars are a good place for drinking and little else in my experience. Cafes and restaurants are good for eating and little else. Most after work-hours activities are geared heavily to bars and clubs, so that's probably going to be a negative.

    It's up to hobbies and recreational activities that attract a mixed-sex crowd, or a personals ad. I've had more luck with the former but not much more, and almost no real luck with the later, despite plenty of online interest.

    I dunno. I've had all of say one girlfriend and three dates over the last 10 years or so since hitting puberty at 14. I'm 24. So you probably should not be listening to me.
     
    #8 D_Selmus_Swallow, Sep 28, 2008
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2008
  9. D_Selmus_Swallow

    D_Selmus_Swallow Account Disabled

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    I guess the main problem here is that if the bar is already set low to begin with, how low do you go?

    I suppose it could be that the OP is like a lot of people, in that he wants to have good sex with somebody he actually is attracted to, rather than struggling to get hard so he stick his penis in a hole.

    It's a quality vs. quantity issue it sounds like.
     
    #9 D_Selmus_Swallow, Sep 28, 2008
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2008
  10. Jovial

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    I think the OP is in the same boat as a lot of men. Like you said, it depends on what he considers "attractive". I know guys that are shorter and in worse shape than me and at best as interesting or nice as me, yet they don't want to settle for girls that I consider quite attractive. Everyone has the right to be picky. I'm quite picky about the type of woman I want to be with.

    The other problem is most people will never get the partner they want. Just think, the lowest 50% of people in attractiveness (not just physical) probably won't be happy being with someone that is below average also. They may have a pleasant life together, but not hot steamy sex all the time. There will be too many qualities in the other person that turn them off. What should someone do if no one they're attracted to likes them? Lower their standards or just live a single, lonely life?
     
  11. Principessa

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    Hmm, that's actually good advice. I think you should follow it too. :wink:
     
  12. got_lost

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    I've watched single guys or at least guys out on the pull in the pub and they all come on to the waitresses and bar staff.

    Some of them have gotten lucky! :cool:

    You just have to get out there and live your own life and you'll meet someone.
    Sitting at home doesn't cut it and sitting in a quiet corner of a bar won't cut it.

    Hotel bars are better hope with travelling business women.
    Women also go to shopping malls (have coffee there).

    You've got to go where women go not where men go to pick up women :wink:

    Or as I said. You've just got go out and live your life and do the things you want to do (out side of the home and prefereably in female populated areas) and stop stressing about it. It'll happen.

    I always found as soon as I stopped looking I'd find whatever it was I was looking for! :redface:
     
  13. Tristessa

    Tristessa New Member

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    Look into classes/groups involving your interests, like some people suggested before. It's an easy way to meet people already into the things you like doing.

    I move cities/countries fairly frequently, and I always initially meet people online, then get introduced to their friends and so on. There are a few good, free sites for that. The biggest mistake I see guys make on writing profiles is coming off negative or desperate. Avoid those things, be honest, post clear pictures of yourself, and you shouldn't have much trouble finding at least a few dates.

    If you just want sex, try fetish nights at local alternative clubs. They aren't too scary for newcomers (usually) and give you something specific to talk about at least. And don't drink, no reason to risk your health on something you don't really seem to enjoy anyway.
     
  14. Jovial

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    I don't think the problem (most of the time) is with meeting women, but rather with asking the ones they meet out. Taking classes and doing activities may be a good way to meet women and get to know them first without having to actually go on a date. So in this sense they are good ideas. The guy can judge the interest level before asking her out.

    But also it's good just to socialize more and observe how other men approach women and women approach men. See how people judge the interest levels. Learn things to say to tell if women are interested in you. Just socializing will help build confidence and eventually it will become easier to take it further.
     
  15. 8060

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    Bingo! What ever happened to: "Would you like to have dinner with me tongiht?"
     
  16. Jovial

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    But that may be too much for many women unless they already know they like you. I've learned that other guys that are "good" tend to do one of two things. Either suggest doing something with a group of friends, like "Hey! A few of us are going to that concert on Saturday. Do you want to go?" Then they get their number. Maybe even suggest that the girl brings some of her friends.

    The other thing is to find some common ground, like something that he wants to discuss more with her. Then say "I've got to go, but I'd like to ask you about _____. Can I call you sometime?"

    In both of these situations the girl isn't pressured into a real "date" right away. I know in an ideal world people would just enjoy dating, but there seems to be too many bad dates, so women don't want to go on a real one-on-one date until she knows the man a little better.
     
  17. goodwood

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    All of the women I have met and hooked up with have been from the party/social scene. I socialize a lot and go to lots of parties am outgoing and flirty and rather than me picking up women, women usually hit on me so it is not terribly difficult. Have you done the online thing? Good luck and when you are least expecting it, you might meet someone.
     
  18. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

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    as far as where -- anywhere and everywhere

    just a matter of making the connection

    just say "hi!" or its equivalent, then keep it going
     
  19. 8060

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    Casual conversation works wonders in meeting people to potentially date. You can't just expect to meet the perfect person if you never open your mouth to say anything to her. I feel you, Jovial, on women not wanting to date until they at least have "felt a guy out"--his personality, sense of humor, social behavior, etc. That's with all of us though. Let someone get a good vibe from you and things will naturally take off.

    But a guy can't just sit there and wait for a woman to fall in his lap. It's take effort.
     
  20. cacco777

    cacco777 New Member

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    I recommend a social circle as well. Go out with certain people and get to know girls through them. If you don't have any friends, try work colleagues, evening classes, sports, clubs, etc.

    The key is to socialise and meet people. I don't socialise as much as I want neither, but the last couple times I met my friends, I met a nice girl through one of my friends. I really want to ask her out, and I think I will...
     
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