where does one find a good man

rudashe

Experimental Member
Joined
Aug 1, 2012
Posts
96
Media
0
Likes
11
Points
43
Location
texas
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Gender
Male
Okay here is my deal...im a 48 year old guy who is semi retired and very single. Where does one truthfully seek a partner who starts off as a friend and then if all goes well goes into a long term relationship? I mean i have done it all. Even places where they say "no dont look there." Im not what one would call handsome nor am i ugly but its just so hard to find someone. The guys in my area are very superficial because it seems you have to belong to their "elite" group in order for them to even look at you. I have even asked straight friends to talk to other people and see if anyone knows of anyone...with no luck. I have tried long distance (which didnt work), bars, social gatherings, im going bonkers here. Please help!!
 

Hotlatbtm

Sexy Member
Joined
Nov 24, 2008
Posts
501
Media
0
Likes
44
Points
113
Location
Palm Springs (California, United States)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Says Texas but not where ( city ) maybe moving somewhere where there are 'more' men to choose from ? If your in a smallish town the likelihood of meeting someone acceptable is less if there are not enough men to go around ( esp if they have 'cliques' )
 

rudashe

Experimental Member
Joined
Aug 1, 2012
Posts
96
Media
0
Likes
11
Points
43
Location
texas
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Gender
Male
Hotlatbtm yes i live in a west texas town of just a little over 200,000 people. The probability of me moving right now is very low. And true about not being enough men to go around cos i have seen most of them go in circles with the men they are dating. A few months with this one then that one and its all one big circle and it seems like everyone has dated everyone!
 

pwrdick

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Feb 15, 2010
Posts
410
Media
55
Likes
3,998
Points
773
Location
Santa Rosa (California, United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
Rudashe, one opportunity to meet people is to volunteer at a non-profit who's mission you believe in. There you'll going to run into alot of others who share your sensibility and you can then work that new field of friends to expand your search. In my area, there's a food bank dedicated to serving people with HIV/AIDS and it is run almost entirely by volunteers. If I were single, I would likely volunteer there (as well as continue to donate our farm's produce) to expand my circle of friends.
 

bigbull29

Worshipped Member
Joined
Apr 24, 2006
Posts
7,577
Media
52
Likes
14,087
Points
343
Location
State College (Pennsylvania, United States)
Sexuality
Pansexual
Gender
Male
Rudashe, one opportunity to meet people is to volunteer at a non-profit who's mission you believe in. There you'll going to run into alot of others who share your sensibility and you can then work that new field of friends to expand your search. In my area, there's a food bank dedicated to serving people with HIV/AIDS and it is run almost entirely by volunteers. If I were single, I would likely volunteer there (as well as continue to donate our farm's produce) to expand my circle of friends.

Yes, you're more likely to meet "higher quality" people in these kinds of places. Superficiality, materialism and body-shallowness are not for me.


Best of luck to the OP.:smile:


(PS: It is better to be alone than in bad company.)
 
Last edited:

KuronoB

Cherished Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2012
Posts
456
Media
0
Likes
273
Points
148
Location
Chicago (Illinois, United States)
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
Does your area have an LGBT community center? You could spend some time there; every LGBT center I've heard of, big and small, has activities you could join in or volunteer to help with.

Or maybe you could start a social group? Try Find Meetup groups near you - Meetup and start a group for gay guys age 40+ in your area. Use the connections you have to spread the word. You'll likely meet guys you've never seen before, and those guys may be single and looking too. However, when you start the group, make it a 100% social group, aimed at meeting new gay friends. Do not make it relationship oriented at all, just so you can get the greatest number of people.
 

rudashe

Experimental Member
Joined
Aug 1, 2012
Posts
96
Media
0
Likes
11
Points
43
Location
texas
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Gender
Male
KuronoB we do not have a LGBT community center....im sure i could lookup this Meetup group to get the ball rollin. All of these are good ideas just goes to show you how sheltered we are up here.
 

Mogluver

Cherished Member
Joined
Nov 1, 2010
Posts
340
Media
0
Likes
301
Points
208
Location
Colorado
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
All I can do is give you a bit of my story. I have a posting on Life Out, and met a guy in 2009 through the site. We chatted on instant messenger and then on the phone. Still friends, and due to my circumstances, taking care of an elderly parent, I can't make any short term commitment. However, we chat daily, have spent time together on vacations, and are excellent friends. We even graduated from high school the same year. I am in my 50's and there are lots of guys out there who are in the same position, up in age, and still looking for a good man. I know your neighborhood of West Texas, I live out in Western Colorado, and have quite a number of friends here in town, the vast majority I would not want any relationship with, which is what your talking about. Hang in there and give Life Out a look over, the worst you can say is "no."
 

rudashe

Experimental Member
Joined
Aug 1, 2012
Posts
96
Media
0
Likes
11
Points
43
Location
texas
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Gender
Male
Thank you so much Mogluver as i am currently in the same situation as you are...i am taking care of an elderly parent which pretty much renders me idle. So yes any type of commitment at this time other than friendship mostly via internet or fone is out of the question. Thank you for your bit of information!!
 

MisterSlave

Legendary Member
Joined
Mar 13, 2006
Posts
1,357
Media
99
Likes
1,412
Points
343
Location
Portland (Oregon, United States)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Dating pool in a small town, means a limited number of candidates for relationship. Its all about numbers. I look online for possibilities, mainly because I have some kinks fetishes and lifestyle that would require a certain kind of open minded and accepting man. I keep my horizons open to may kinds of guys (even those who fall outside of my aesthetic for physical looks and such). There is some wisdom to what people say when they go; (beauty fades). It does. I feel that if you want a relationship with someone, it has to be more than just physical attributes, or sex . . but hey you gotta start somewhere. . and a nice big dick and sexual compatibility are nice. If you have an open mind and are patient, and you do not mind getting to know someone over time, (given your situation of care for your folks Rudashe,), you may find someone. Good luck to you.

Syl'
 

Mogluver

Cherished Member
Joined
Nov 1, 2010
Posts
340
Media
0
Likes
301
Points
208
Location
Colorado
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Thank you so much Mogluver as i am currently in the same situation as you are...i am taking care of an elderly parent which pretty much renders me idle. So yes any type of commitment at this time other than friendship mostly via internet or fone is out of the question. Thank you for your bit of information!!

Rudashe I do understand your situation. I have been able to get away on vacation with my buddy in the last 4 years. What we have accomplished is a great friendship, even one that has had some bumps, which is all good. Hang in there, as there is a bright future, even though there are daily frustrations. Good luck and let me know how you do with your hunt for a good man.
 

blckbottom

Expert Member
Joined
Sep 14, 2006
Posts
218
Media
0
Likes
195
Points
263
Location
Arkansas
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
I'm a bottom who is looking to date. I have the same problem.

Arkansas gay community is very class and race based. guys here only want porn stars. They aren't into real men. Most my age rarely date within their own age. They all want to date boys, skinny emos or t-girls.

I use sites like manhunt and adam4adam. I need help finding a man myself