Where Have All The Virgins gone?

[rob_just_rob]

Also...for the record...

I find a man who is still a virgin extremely sexy. :shrug:

I suppose that's rare, but a huge part of MY life was waiting until I was ready, and felt it was the right moment. I would find someone with similar views and out look on their virginity incredibly attractive. I honestly find men that have had sex with a lot of different partners, especially partners who have meant very little or nothing at all, a very big turn off.

I think that the reason many of the remaining male virgins out there are banging their heads on their keyboards is that this is precisely NOT the reason why they are still virgins.

There are assuredly guys out there who are waiting to be 'ready', or because they want to focus on other things, or for religious reasons. But there are a LOT of guys who are shy or awkward and desperately wish that they could have sex, or even have a girlfriend. I was one, in my teens.

It's all well and good to be a virgin by choice, cb. But if, one morning, you had woken up and decided you didn't want to be a virgin anymore, you could probably have gotten laid in a week or 2 if you were being discriminating, or a in couple of hours if you weren't.

Many others don't have, or don't feel they have, that option. And it is condescending to assume that they do.

 

[CVCArules]

im a virgin still but because i love my girl and she wants to save it

 

[voidout]

I think that the reason many of the remaining male virgins out there are banging their heads on their keyboards is that this is precisely NOT the reason why they are still virgins.

There are assuredly guys out there who are waiting to be 'ready', or because they want to focus on other things, or for religious reasons. But there are a LOT of guys who are shy or awkward and desperately wish that they could have sex, or even have a girlfriend. I was one, in my teens.

Good point.

It's all well and good to be a virgin by choice, cb. But if, one morning, you had woken up and decided you didn't want to be a virgin anymore, you could probably have gotten laid in a week or 2 if you were being discriminating, or a in couple of hours if you weren't.

Many others don't have, or don't feel they have, that option. And it is condescending to assume that they do.

A) Wrong. I wouldn't challenge me on that publicly, and if you ask I won't answer.

B) I never assumed it, I answered the way I did for a reason, and the only one being condescending at this point in time is you.

 

[Smooth88]

Also...for the record...

I find a man who is still a virgin extremely sexy. :shrug:

I suppose that's rare, but a huge part of MY life was waiting until I was ready, and felt it was the right moment. I would find someone with similar views and out look on their virginity incredibly attractive. I honestly find men that have had sex with a lot of different partners, especially partners who have meant very little or nothing at all, a very big turn off.

I notice one thing girls who are virgins or who have had very few partners tend to agree with this sentiment that male virgins are extremely sexy but youre right in that most girls look down on having a lot of partners that don't mean anything.

 

[sab84]

We are still here.. it's just that LPSG doesn't have an option to put our sexual expertise in our profile....like they have for our gender and orientation..

 

[whatadork]

I've only had one and she meant everything to me (and she still does (and vice versa) but due to circumstances beyond our control we cannot be together anymore). She also said it was extremely hot that I was still a virgin at the time. In general, people will make fun of you if you're still a virgin (male virgin that is) (female virgins are always hot). But when someone is really interested in you, it won't matter. I would also be more than happy to have sex with one and the same person, because sex with the one you love is a million times better than sex just to have sex. :smile:

Well there's also the problem that some women think it's a big "responsibility" to take someone's virginity. The girl I lost my virginity to (I lost mine quite late too) said wasn't too sure if she wanted to take it. She said she's taken other guy's virginities before but really wasn't sure about it because as she said "you ALWAYS remember your first time" and she wasn't sure if she should be the one I always remember. There's also the worry that you, as a virgin, might be expecting too much out of the act and that it'll be hard for her to live up to it.

and @christinab: Yeah, actually I did sense a chip on his shoulder with his "women are worse towards male virgins". I actually see most women being more sympathetic than most guys. But I do agree with a fair amount of what he said. As for me, I was fine waiting but the pressures of NOT wanting the label were pretty high as well as the desire to see what the "buzz was all about." The loss of the stigma is actually a PRETTY HUGE motivation for most men I think. Personally for me, I'm not going to seduce a woman just for sex. For me it's when both of us are probably on the same page. The second we're not on the same page I don't really feel right pursuing sex. So if we're both interested in a long term relationship or she's ok with sex while knowing I don't want a long term relationship, then I'll happily have sex with her.

@Zeuhl34: Hmmmm... I'm an introvert too. And I'm lazy as hell AND I range from fairly extroverted (amongst friends or mostly friends) to very introverted (when I don't know anyone).

If you want some advice (ok, not like I'm a great source of this since my skills with women are so-so at best) women look for a few things.

1) Physical appearance. You don't have to be super hot. But you have to make it evident that you take care of yourself.
2) Confidence. Women love confidence and they're pretty good at smelling fake confidence. At the very worst, don't be wishy washy and/or passive. On early dates, you should have things planned. At the worst ask her what she wants to do from a select few choices.
3) Personality. You gotta make her have fun being with you. Humor is the easiest and most tried and true way. Good stories is another. Having fun topics to talk about is another. This means you can be argumentative as long as it's FUN for her, not frustrating (arguments can be mentally stimulating or very very annoying). If you have trouble, the best way is to have certain topics that you can talk about in an interesting manner AND that can involve her. Have some of these ready and use them when there's lulls in the conversation.
4) Wealth. Yes, for some girls this is really important. For some girls it's only important if you're poor.

 

[sab84]

I think that the reason many of the remaining male virgins out there are banging their heads on their keyboards is that this is precisely NOT the reason why they are still virgins.

There are assuredly guys out there who are waiting to be 'ready', or because they want to focus on other things, or for religious reasons. But there are a LOT of guys who are shy or awkward and desperately wish that they could have sex, or even have a girlfriend. I was one, in my teens.

It's all well and good to be a virgin by choice, cb. But if, one morning, you had woken up and decided you didn't want to be a virgin anymore, you could probably have gotten laid in a week or 2 if you were being discriminating, or a in couple of hours if you weren't.

Many others don't have, or don't feel they have, that option. And it is condescending to assume that they do.

Yup I believe it could be true for many.. In my case.. I was a shy guy in school... so never went ahead of "just messing".. unfortunately ended up being in a Catholic college... I needn't explain more...
Now I can just throw money and get a pros... for a night or for weeks... but I had rather decided to wait for a person (man or women) I can be emotionally attached, to lose mine...
I'm traditional when it comes to picking for sex... but totally and ridiculously kinky when it comes to "How", "Where" and "Whom"
But then again, I do have the eixt strategy.... :wink:

 

[Smooth88]

Female virgins aren't looked down upon because frankly it's super easy for them to lose their virginity. This is also why a woman who sleeps with 100 guys is a "slut" and a man who sleeps with 100 women is a "stud". If you're average looking or better and female, you can just proposition a great majority of the guys out there for no strings attached sex and voila, done deal. If you're a guy, almost NO one will take that offer unless you're ridiculously good looking. You have to work for it.

So the assumption is always a female virgin is someone who was strong enough to resist the hordes of guys trying to get into her pants. A male virgin is someone who gets rejected by every girl he propositions. Of course that's only the assumption, but that's the first thought most people have.

Honestly in the end though you should lose your virginity when you're ready to. Sex IS a lot of fun but I'm not really sure about having sex just for the purpose of saying you've had sex.

He's exactly right. Honestly any decently attractive female IF she wanted to can get a guy to have sex (unless he's one of those guys who could get laid whenever he wanted) with her while guys have to work for it and being shy and timid mostly works against guys mostly because of Darwinism. And it gets harder for guys as you get older because people get more specific with their wants and needs and like and dislikes. Most guys will compliment you if you can get a lot of girls because they know how difficult it is. While sometimes it is hard for women to get they specific guy they want BUT they can always fall back on plan B or C. Guys cant do that. And everyone looks down on easy women whether youre a guy or girl.

For a while I was trying to find "the one" but I realized a couple years ago theres no point in waiting because you might find "the one" and she may run circles around you do to lack of experience and once you get to a certain age being inexperienced is frowned upon because it says youre undesirable. Now I just want someone I feel comfortable with, attractive, worth my time, and a girl who genuinely likes me. Most people want too much too soon and perfection and life doesnt work that way.

I turn 21 today and I'm a virgin and I approve this message.

 

[blg3floor3]

With as long as it's been, I may as well be a virgin again.

@Zeuhl34: Hmmmm... I'm an introvert too. And I'm lazy as hell AND I range from fairly extroverted (amongst friends or mostly friends) to very introverted (when I don't know anyone).

If you want some advice (ok, not like I'm a great source of this since my skills with women are so-so at best) women look for a few things.

1) Physical appearance. You don't have to be super hot. But you have to make it evident that you take care of yourself.
2) Confidence. Women love confidence and they're pretty good at smelling fake confidence. At the very worst, don't be wishy washy and/or passive. On early dates, you should have things planned. At the worst ask her what she wants to do from a select few choices.
3) Personality. You gotta make her have fun being with you. Humor is the easiest and most tried and true way. Good stories is another. Having fun topics to talk about is another. This means you can be argumentative as long as it's FUN for her, not frustrating (arguments can be mentally stimulating or very very annoying). If you have trouble, the best way is to have certain topics that you can talk about in an interesting manner AND that can involve her. Have some of these ready and use them when there's lulls in the conversation.
4) Wealth. Yes, for some girls this is really important. For some girls it's only important if you're poor.

Yeah.

I wouldn't say I'm good looking, but I don't think I'm quite to the level of fugly, so #1 is fine.

Despite what people may ASSume from talking to me for 10 seconds, I'm plenty good on #2.

My only problem is #3. I'm fucking boring. I've met a girl from here and she can vouch for that :tongue: (judging by the fact that I never saw or heard from her again and she was psychologically neither here nor there during the whole meeting; my fault though, obviously). I've read tons and tons of pick-up artist/seduction stuff and I've personally observed successful guys around me - friends, coworkers, etc. I KNOW what's going on, I KNOW how it works. Being fun, being funny, being interesting, being the person that other people seek out and want to be around.

But despite my best efforts, I just ain't got it. Maybe it's because I'm extremely anti-social (not shy, don't mistake that). I'm introverted, but not too much. I just flat don't really care about socializing with people, interacting with people, and generally getting experienced with being social. I got the really fucked up end of the social ability stick, genetically. I try to care, but I just can't.

When I'm in social situations, I KNOW what I'm supposed to be doing. But despite all of my interactions with people, my brain apparently doesn't absorb skills such as small talk and witty banter and various brands of humor. In a social situation, people think I'm not talking to them because I don't like them or because I'm a dick or stuck up or some shit, but it's more because I really don't know what to say. Um, hi? So um, how are you? How was school? How was work? So, like, did you see that one movie? Dum de dum......hmmm....what did you do last night?

BOOOOOOORING. I know what I should be doing and saying to be successful, but my mental book of social material never gets beyond the first page, i.e. I never collect anything to draw from despite how many social experiences and observations I have.

blah
blah
blah
blah

Really, the point is that number 3 is by far the biggest factor. I've seen poor guys and fugly guys (some who were both) get plenty of pussy and plenty of attention, not just from females but from people in general. Why? Because they have the right personality traits and social skills. There's this blah-looking, fat, lazy, yellow eyed, pot smoking, arrogant son of a bitch at work who has the girls wrapped around his finger precisely because of personality. And he's by far not the exception, but the rule.

A guy's sexual trigger is something that has a tight, wet, hole attached to a reasonable body.
A girl's sexual trigger is a reasonably interesting person.

 

[SR_realpat]

Viriginity is really not something you want to keep, believe me -_-

 

[D_Kilkhampton Largehole]

My only problem is #3. I'm fucking boring. I've met a girl from here and she can vouch for that :tongue: (judging by the fact that I never saw or heard from her again and she was psychologically neither here nor there during the whole meeting; my fault though, obviously). I've read tons and tons of pick-up artist/seduction stuff and I've personally observed successful guys around me - friends, coworkers, etc. I KNOW what's going on, I KNOW how it works. Being fun, being funny, being interesting, being the person that other people seek out and want to be around.

But despite my best efforts, I just ain't got it. Maybe it's because I'm extremely anti-social (not shy, don't mistake that). I'm introverted, but not too much. I just flat don't really care about socializing with people, interacting with people, and generally getting experienced with being social. I got the really fucked up end of the social ability stick, genetically. I try to care, but I just can't.

When I'm in social situations, I KNOW what I'm supposed to be doing. But despite all of my interactions with people, my brain apparently doesn't absorb skills such as small talk and witty banter and various brands of humor. In a social situation, people think I'm not talking to them because I don't like them or because I'm a dick or stuck up or some shit, but it's more because I really don't know what to say. Um, hi? So um, how are you? How was school? How was work? So, like, did you see that one movie? Dum de dum......hmmm....what did you do last night?

BOOOOOOORING. I know what I should be doing and saying to be successful, but my mental book of social material never gets beyond the first page, i.e. I never collect anything to draw from despite how many social experiences and observations I have.

blah
blah
blah
blah

Really, the point is that number 3 is by far the biggest factor. I've seen poor guys and fugly guys (some who were both) get plenty of pussy and plenty of attention, not just from females but from people in general. Why? Because they have the right personality traits and social skills. There's this blah-looking, fat, lazy, yellow eyed, pot smoking, arrogant son of a bitch at work who has the girls wrapped around his finger precisely because of personality. And he's by far not the exception, but the rule.

A guy's sexual trigger is something that has a tight, wet, hole attached to a reasonable body.
A girl's sexual trigger is a reasonably interesting person.

That's so fucking true. I'm also lacking these social skills, and I'm very introverted when I'm with people I don't know. As a result, people think you're boring, which I think I'm not. But I just don't give a shit about all this small talk, and actually, I don't want to be such a guy that's working himself to death for hours to get a girl, I can't put my energy in that.
But lacking social skills doesn't mean you're not interesting, you're just not able to show it. On the contrary, I think a lot of these fluently chatter guys are just full of shit and really are not as interesting as they appear to be. Sadly, this is the only way to get girls, besides being rich or ridiculously good looking. Conclusion, the uninteresting but social guy gets all the girls (and probably loses them soon but at least got laid), the interesting but quiet guy gets none.

 

[shyguy1985]

You guys are not alone. Those post could have been easily written by me. Although once I feel comfortable around a group of people I am alright.

Stupidly, I always get along with my mates girlfriends really well. I guess I feel like I dont have to impress them and I dont want them to like me (in that way, you know what I mean) and I'm not interested in them.

Infact, I've lost a few good female friends because mates have split up with their girlfriends and I've had to take their side and lose contact with the girlfriend.

I think I'm rather oddly wired.

 

[voidout]

Stupidly, I always get along with my mates girlfriends really well. I guess I feel like I dont have to impress them and I dont want them to like me (in that way, you know what I mean) and I'm not interested in them.

I've always been the same way with my friends and their girl/boyfriends, and for the exact same reasoning.

 

[Pendlum]

The only thing that is making me regret being a virgin is all these self pity bawwwww posts. I don't want to get lumped in with that.

 

[rob_just_rob]

Good point.

Thanks.

A) Wrong. I wouldn't challenge me on that publicly, and if you ask I won't answer.

B) I never assumed it, I answered the way I did for a reason, and the only one being condescending at this point in time is you.

So... you call me condescending, right after you tell me that you don't want to argue with me?

I made a perfectly plausible point (that attractive women - or even ordinary women - have less trouble finding willing sex partners than the average male teen) that I would be happy to debate with you. Is the chip on your shoulder so big that you refuse to even consider points of view other than your own?

Well, whatever.

 

[shyguy1985]

I've always been the same way with my friends and their girl/boyfriends, and for the exact same reasoning.

Have you ever had it backfire and one of your friends partners trying it on with you?

 

[voidout]

So... you call me condescending, right after you tell me that you don't want to argue with me?

i didn't say that at all, and if you would have PM'd me asking why, i would have answered you. i said "publically" for a reason. i usually say most things for a reason.

Is the chip on your shoulder so big that you refuse to even consider points of view other than your own?

how do you not see how condescending you're being...?
you're assuming my answer meant i simply WON'T talk to you on the subject. untrue. i simply don't want to discuss it in this forum.

anyway...
everyone has a chip on their shoulder,
but what matters is if you're working towards fixing it,
which i am, thank you very much.

 

[voidout]

Have you ever had it backfire and one of your friends partners trying it on with you?

uhm, no.

i've feared that there was something more emotional going on with the other person and even myself, but i never took action on it, and i made sure to not put myself in that kind of situation.

 

[sab84]

I've always been the same way with my friends and their girl/boyfriends, and for the exact same reasoning.

Yup me too... many of my friends have accused me of hitting on their gfs... and then I had to make them believe that nothing like that would ever happen...

And unfortunately in some cases I had to stop socializing with them...

 

[D_Ivana Dickenside]

one fine-ass virgin visited me a year ago in the condom aisle, and since then he hasn't been a virgin. i just couldn't resist! :biggrin: