Which do you think is a more intimate act?

Serial Kisser

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Which act do you find to be more intimate - kissing or sex (regular penis in vagina sex) ?

I'm currently friends with someone who wants to fool around but he won't kiss me. He says it's too intimate and is more for bf/gf. I just find it hard to fathom that he doesn't think sticking his cock inside of me is intimate, but our mouths touching is.
 

Brisler

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Hah, he suffers from "Pretty Woman"-syndrome.

I've heard people say that too, and I don't get it at all. Sex is far more intimate. I mean, far more intimate. It must be a silly, romantic idea that some people have for some incomprehensible reason. Sorry, I can't help explain that weird phenomenon.
 

Serial Kisser

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Hah, he suffers from "Pretty Woman"-syndrome.

I've heard people say that too, and I don't get it at all. Sex is far more intimate. I mean, far more intimate. It must be a silly, romantic idea that some people have for some incomprehensible reason. Sorry, I can't help explain that weird phenomenon.

Well, it would make sense if he was a prostitute lol. He's not the only guy I've encountered like this. And he and I will remain just friends. I can't have sex with someone who won't kiss me. I've known two other guys similar to him. One of the guys - was my suck buddy. We had rules. No P in V sex, because that would make me get attached to him, and his rule was no kissing. So, I'd blow him and he'd finger bang my brains out. Worked out perfectly, until I started talking to someone else. Then the bastard kissed me. I was furious. He did it to manipulate me and keep me sucking his cock. He knew I wanted to kiss. I was so mad. He ended up being an abusive asshole, I almost called the cops on him, and we hven't spoken in 3 years.
 

Brisler

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Worked out perfectly, until I started talking to someone else. Then the bastard kissed me. I was furious. He did it to manipulate me and keep me sucking his cock. He knew I wanted to kiss. I was so mad. He ended up being an abusive asshole, I almost called the cops on him, and we hven't spoken in 3 years.

Typical women... Misandrists one and all. :wink:

Good to hear you got rid of that asshole. He probably hasn't learned a thing, though.



I don't even know how I would go about getting a woman into bed without kissing her first. It always seems to be the first to happen. But then again, when it comes to dating and picking up girls, I'm pretty much still in my teens...
 

Serial Kisser

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Typical women... Misandrists one and all. :wink:

Good to hear you got rid of that asshole. He probably hasn't learned a thing, though.



I don't even know how I would go about getting a woman into bed without kissing her first. It always seems to be the first to happen. But then again, when it comes to dating and picking up girls, I'm pretty much still in my teens...

Hahaha. Well, no means no. He tried to pull me into his house after I said no. He sprained my thumb, and I had to BITE HIM to get him to let go of me. Ugh. And I told him that. I told him he is too old to be behaving like this. Kissing is so natural to me. It's how I express my passion. I find it stifling that this guy won't kiss me. It pisses me off.
 

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I understand. What a strange limit to set for oneself and others. I suspect it would be kind of difficult to find a girlfriend if one refuses to kiss girls before they are, in fact, his girlfriend. Wouldn't it push many women away?

"I'm sorry dear, I'm just not ready yet... Now, take off your clothes."
 

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For me, sex is the most intimate.

I thought that the kissing thing was limited to pros, but I have known women who find oral sex (i.e. them performing oral sex) more intimate than penetrative sex - I can understand this point of view from them, I must say.
 

Serial Kisser

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For me, sex is the most intimate.

I thought that the kissing thing was limited to pros, but I have known women who find oral sex (i.e. them performing oral sex) more intimate than penetrative sex - I can understand this point of view from them, I must say.

Interesting. I don't think it's intimate at all (for me personally) to have a cock in my mouth. I do however find it EXTREMELY intimate for a guy to have his mouth on my lady bits. But the kissing .... gosh, sex is just SO MUCH MORE intimate than kissing.
 

lovinglife

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Which act do you find to be more intimate - kissing or sex (regular penis in vagina sex) ?

I'm currently friends with someone who wants to fool around but he won't kiss me. He says it's too intimate and is more for bf/gf. I just find it hard to fathom that he doesn't think sticking his cock inside of me is intimate, but our mouths touching is.
o_O sex by far. Sex is the most intimate thing possible. I don't see how you can get more intimate than the act that makes babies. I mean you are naked on top of each other so close that you (as a man) are inside her. Besides, don't you usually kiss some during/before/after sex? I never really thought about having sex without kissing.

Thinking about it a bit more... maybe I can see his perspective a little. Kissing is usually between people with emotional connections and some people have sex just to get off. Seems kind of foreign to me though because I generally don't think of sex like that.
 
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deleted356736

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Contrary to popular belief, prostitutes kiss their clients (or they do in Australia). Can't understand why a boyfriend wouldn't kiss his girlfriend.
 

Booty_Boy

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There are a lot of guys (waaaay too many in my experience) who seem not to enjoy kissing that much. I know, right: WTF?? Anyway.

The relationship you're describing is the 'doing stuff that feels good and having fun together' kind rather than the 'let's make babies' kind. You can have sex practially without any emotion at all (helps if you're a guy), since there's a whole wealth of pleasure there.

Kissing, however, is all about touching, intimacy, and emotion. That's it's entire purpose, and there's no way to sidestep it.

I think that if he's one of those guys who doesn't like kissing that much, then a relationship with kissing in it implies attachment and emotion, and therefore intimacy.

Personally, I'd have done exactly what you did. If you're not prepared to kiss me and show a little intimacy, you can have non-intimate sex with yourself. =)
 

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Had never thought of one being more or less intimate than the other until i was told multiple times by multiple women that i should be able to bang with no emotion and no kissing. I think the no kissing thing is pretty widespread.
 

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if i recall, Tight_N_Juicy had this same question a while back, and my response was: he's not that into you. i've been in the same situation before, as a guy. i've been kind of tired of the girlfriend thing, and didn't enjoy kissing anymore. but i wasn't about to just give up sex, haha. it's not a good sign. he doesn't care for you, but sex is easy/comfortable with you for him, and not much work, so he's just kind of phoning it in and getting his rocks off. is he being very attentive to you in other ways?

kissing *can* be more intimate in some ways. without kissing, it's easier to just kind of separate yourself from the other person emotionally
 
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It depends on the nature of the relationship. For a simple booty call, there is no intimacy involved. Its pretty much a masturbatory relationship, using each other for pleasure. So, kissing is a waste of time in a sense. In a traditional relationship where partners are considering one another for long term status or marriage, then sex is the ultimate act of intimacy. Remember the old 1st base, 2nd base, 3rd base, home plate analogy? Each base represents a level of physical intimacy, with sex--home plate--the highest level. He doesn't want to kiss you because he's not interested in you that way...he's only getting his thrills at your expense. What are you getting out of it?
 

Serial Kisser

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o_O sex by far. Sex is the most intimate thing possible. I don't see how you can get more intimate than the act that makes babies. I mean you are naked on top of each other so close that you (as a man) are inside her. Besides, don't you usually kiss some during/before/after sex? I never really thought about having sex without kissing.

Thinking about it a bit more... maybe I can see his perspective a little. Kissing is usually between people with emotional connections and some people have sex just to get off. Seems kind of foreign to me though because I generally don't think of sex like that.

Yeah, I think it's weird. Kissing is how I express myself. It's not something I reserve for a boyfriend. It's something I do with someone I'm involved with sexually.


There are a lot of guys (waaaay too many in my experience) who seem not to enjoy kissing that much. I know, right: WTF?? Anyway.

The relationship you're describing is the 'doing stuff that feels good and having fun together' kind rather than the 'let's make babies' kind. You can have sex practially without any emotion at all (helps if you're a guy), since there's a whole wealth of pleasure there.

Kissing, however, is all about touching, intimacy, and emotion. That's it's entire purpose, and there's no way to sidestep it.

I think that if he's one of those guys who doesn't like kissing that much, then a relationship with kissing in it implies attachment and emotion, and therefore intimacy.

Personally, I'd have done exactly what you did. If you're not prepared to kiss me and show a little intimacy, you can have non-intimate sex with yourself. =)
Yeah, I keep denying him. I won't have sex with him because I actually like him. And if we have sex, I'll get attached. It just pisses me off that he won't kiss me.

if i recall, Tight_N_Juicy had this same question a while back, and my response was: he's not that into you. i've been in the same situation before, as a guy. i've been kind of tired of the girlfriend thing, and didn't enjoy kissing anymore. but i wasn't about to just give up sex, haha. it's not a good sign. he doesn't care for you, but sex is easy/comfortable with you for him, and not much work, so he's just kind of phoning it in and getting his rocks off. is he being very attentive to you in other ways?

kissing *can* be more intimate in some ways. without kissing, it's easier to just kind of separate yourself from the other person emotionally

I never really thought of it that way =/

It depends on the nature of the relationship. For a simple booty call, there is no intimacy involved. Its pretty much a masturbatory relationship, using each other for pleasure. So, kissing is a waste of time in a sense. In a traditional relationship where partners are considering one another for long term status or marriage, then sex is the ultimate act of intimacy. Remember the old 1st base, 2nd base, 3rd base, home plate analogy? Each base represents a level of physical intimacy, with sex--home plate--the highest level. He doesn't want to kiss you because he's not interested in you that way...he's only getting his thrills at your expense. What are you getting out of it?

I'm not getting anything out of it. We played one time. We took a shower together with our bathing suits on lol, teased each other for a good two hours with mutual massages and touching, then it ended with a handjob for him, and a finger bang for me. We haven't fooled around since. He knows I want a boyfriend, he just doesn't want to be it. But I don't fuck guys who aren't my boyfriend so, it's a stalemate?
 

pcghabsy

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I think it depends on the position. There are some positions, such as doggy, which seem a little removed from intimacy. Maybe it is just the visual from my point of view, because you don't see her face, not sure. There just seems a disconnect, and it all seems about a penis going in and out of a vagina. I would say missionary style positions are the most intimate, then cowgirl, then kissing, then doggy. If any of that makes any sense!

But I guess some people can force that disconnect in other positions too, as giantsfrey points out. However, with kissing, you don't have a choice, you have to be into her.