which is harder?

[D_Anton_Pavlovich_Jerkhov]

To love someone and not to have your feelings reciprocated,

or

to know someone loves you, but you are unable to reciprocate their feelings?

 

[Roudiest]

both are easy

 

[D_Anton_Pavlovich_Jerkhov]

both are easy

That is because you are a cynic, LOL. :biggrin1:

 

[_avg_]

Tough choice. I'd say only one person was 'hurt' in the first scenario whereas it's both persons in the second; so the second is at least more complicated, if not 'harder.' Then again, I've dealt with the first situation (repeatedly...) and thus it seems like the 'easier' for me, perhaps.

 

[SomeGuyOverThere]

I've had the most trouble with the latter, particularly from people I wouldn't touch with somebody else's barge pole developing obsessions with me. That can drag on for a while, often leading to uncomfortable situations.

I don't think I've ever "fallen in love", to me, attraction can happen instantly, but it takes a while to develop. If I catch feelings of attraction as soon as I know they're not reciprocated, I can easily stop myself from developing deeper feelings for that person.

What I find hardest is when I'm interested in somebody and they give me mixed signals, especially with guys and especially with a friend of mine who has a girlfriend. Then I find it harder to close the door on my attraction and I'm never sure if they're flirting or just being friendly. This can then turn into a situation which drags on and on and on, sometimes for years, never certain, and I'm too much of a coward to risk a friendship for the prospect of a relationship.

 

[Twistbarbie]

To love someone and not to have your feelings reciprocated,

or

to know someone loves you, but you are unable to reciprocate their feelings?

1. Feels like someone pulling out the tissue of your heart tissue strand by strand. No wonder people go crazy and do stupid things to themselves and others. It hurts, makes no sense and it feels like you have no control over your thoughts or feelings. Not a good place to be.

SomeGuy is right though, if you're getting mixed messages that is equally difficult. You like me or you don't grrr

2. Yes this feels bad but I've mostly felt sorry for them, not pity but more I'm sorry I don't feel the same, you can try and do things that hopefully lesson their pain. If it means talking, do that, if it means avoidance then do that if you can.

 

[chrisj428]

#1 is more difficult for me -- been there, done that.

 

[Smooth88]

My penis is harder than both of them lmao. All jokes aside being in love with someone and not having your feelings reciprocated. If you try and act on it too much its all a downhill battle.

 

[D_Jared Padalicki]

The first in my opinion. On the second one you can handle and have a clear talk with that person that is in love with you and explain your feelings to them. With the first you can't force them to talk with you.

 

[nudeyorker]

Both are difficult. One involves angst the latter guilt, it depends on what you handle better.

 

[Pendlum]

The first one. The second one is nothing in comparison.

 

[Jay1074]

I don't think I've ever "fallen in love", to me, attraction can happen instantly, but it takes a while to develop. If I catch feelings of attraction as soon as I know they're not reciprocated, I can easily stop myself from developing deeper feelings for that person.

What I find hardest is when I'm interested in somebody and they give me mixed signals, especially with guys and especially with a friend of mine who has a girlfriend. Then I find it harder to close the door on my attraction and I'm never sure if they're flirting or just being friendly. This can then turn into a situation which drags on and on and on, sometimes for years, never certain, and I'm too much of a coward to risk a friendship for the prospect of a relationship.

This for me. I've been through this very thing recently and I had to force myself out of that rut. The funny thing is that I'm pretty sure this guy knew I was into him and sometimes he would be very suggestive in a sexual way but he would never act on it so it left me in a state of utter confusion. I think it became a leverage for him and I got sick of him toying with me like that. I keep my distance now but it was very difficult to get over. I just can't shut off my emotions so easily. Afterall, there sill is a very good friendship at the foundation that I would prefer to salvage. Time and space away from him seems to have helped so far.

 

[D_Andreas Sukov]

the first one.
its happening to me now (and no not hayley williams) and it make me feel sick alot of the time.

the second is also happening, i wouldnt say love though. thats easy just dont act interest and ignore them. it may hurt but to be fair, it happens to everyone and they should learn from it. they arnt friends really so its not like i lose anything. call me selfish all you want, but from what i see people act selfish in relationships all the time (seemingly more women at the point in my life. not generally, just in recent experiances) so im going to be selfish. there are times in life when you have to and relastionships is one of them. what would i do in the second situation to be fair? go out with them to set up for a bigger fall and hurt myself whilst doing it? no thanks

 

[D_Relentless Original]

To love someone and not to have your feelings reciprocated. Definately the hardest i feel.

 

[sexplease]

no one knows where Cupid's arrow will strike...or where it won't.

suffering unrequited love is hard when one thinks it's love, but not when it is truly love.

 

[D_Anton_Pavlovich_Jerkhov]

no one knows where Cupid's arrow will strike...or where it won't.

suffering unrequited love is hard when one thinks it's love, but not when it is truly love.

Could you please elaborate on this? I think I know what you are trying to say, but I want to make sure I do.

 

[nowayzomg]

Definitely the first one, that's what hurts you. The second, having someone love you but you don't love them back, you would feel sorry for the person, maybe even pity, but it's not hurting your heart. It's hurting theirs.