Which is more difficult?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by NorthEast, Mar 5, 2011.

  1. NorthEast

    NorthEast New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2011
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northeast, USA
    A Hypothetical question here.

    Which do you believe to be more difficult:

    1. Keeping one spouse/partner happy for 50 years, or
    2. Keeping 50 different partners happy for a year each (i.e. the "honeymoon period")
    I believe keeping one person happy for 50 years is more difficult. How many relationships last 50 years? Consider all of the seasons of life a partner would go through with you - youth, middle age, old age - and all of the accompanying physical changes, psychological changes, etc. Sticking with it through good times and bad. Keeping the fun and excitelment going in the bedroom through all of those years.

    Think also about how many relationships end within a year. Consider too that the divorce rate is an an all-time high these days.

    The reason I bring this up is because I tend to respect - not the PLAYAHs who rack up the notches on their bedpost - but those who have managed to foster a long and healthy and loving relationship with a person over the course of a lifetime. Have you ever seen the old couple who still seem to love each other after many, many years? THAT guy (or lady) is the MAN!

    My opinion only; interested in hearing yours.

    Thanks.
     
  2. borntobeking

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2010
    Messages:
    606
    Albums:
    10
    Likes Received:
    191
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Willingboro (NJ, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    I agree with your point of view. I once read in a magazine letters that Ronald Reagan wrote to his son. He spoke of that same topic. He told his son to disregard his college friends in the locker room with all of their talk of sexual conquests. He said the real measure of a man is when he has been able to keep one woman all of these years. A woman that has seen you at your best and worst. A woman that nursed you to health when you were sick and washed your dirty underwear. If you can keep that woman happy then you have something for which to be proud.
     
  3. nudeyorker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2006
    Messages:
    42,918
    Likes Received:
    38
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC/Honolulu
    I consider any relationship shorter than a year to be a love affair... because it's after a year that you let go of all the pretenses of what you were trying to be when you first met that person.

    If you move beyond a year you have experienced the four seasons and all of the holidays, birthdays meeting each others friends and families. Once you actually make a commitment to someone through thick and thin and sick and sin (as were part of the vows at our wedding)... you don't have the escape door that you have when you are having a love affair; which for me came in quite handy a few times.

    I think part of the reason the divorce rate is so high is partly due to the fact that many people would rather be with anyone than to be alone. I also feel that many people are expecting some idealized version of marriage and when things get tough they can't handle the pressure and step up to the plate; because whether you want to face it or not, people get sick, family and friends die, there will be emotional and/or financial problems.

    I was single for the vast majority of my adult life and I really had a great time but once I found the person I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with I embraced this chapter of my life and never looked back.

    Is it perfect? No not always. Do me make it work? You bet we do because making things work instead of running away is one of the main ingredients to everything in life that amounts to anything that matters.
     
  4. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    9,873
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    NSW, Australia
    I don't know about more difficult, but the second option sounds bloody exhausting!
     
  5. pcghabsy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,576
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    508
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    India
    There's much more to 1) than there is to 2). On the other hand, 1) seems to have a lot more stability. If you meet the right person, 1) may seem like a breeze.
     
  6. B_Ctendall

    B_Ctendall New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2011
    Messages:
    64
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    smoky_tendall@yahoo.com
    2, the 50 one year relayshoinships would be more difficult. Because getting 50 people to love you can't be easy.
     
  7. dirkjesje

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2009
    Messages:
    1,358
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    263
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    belgium
    I agree. I go for 2 - don t see how I can make every year a different partner happy.
    And for 1 : I have to live long enough and hitting the right partner at young age - not easy, but easier than 2.
     
  8. D_Cock_Hudson

    D_Cock_Hudson New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2009
    Messages:
    1,028
    Likes Received:
    5
    Keeping a long relationship may be more difficult, but it in my view is much more worthwhile and fulfilling. None of us can ever know fully what happens in another couple's relationship, though my guess is that there are some people who have such a long lasting one.
     
  9. poultrygeist

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2010
    Messages:
    462
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    330
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    somewhere north of the south pole
    Verified:
    Photo
    A few questions in this hypothetical question:

    Do you get to choose which 50 people?
    In this question is VD possible?
    What do you do if you find the perfect person and fall in love?
    Would the 50 people potentially know of any of the others?
    Do you get the baggage of the previous people?

    I'd say from a gut instinct that 50 people would be tougher. There's no settling down and no sense of reliability.
     
  10. D_Ivana_Bhig-Dicke

    D_Ivana_Bhig-Dicke New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2010
    Messages:
    360
    Likes Received:
    2
    I'd say 1 for 50 years for the sole reason that I have major commitment issues. I have a hard enough time committing to a cell phone plan let alone spending, potentially the rest of my life, with the same person. Let alone keeping them happy the whole time.
     
  11. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2007
    Messages:
    5,008
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles, California
    I don't think this question makes much sense because I don't know any woman who would want to be in a relationship for only a year, especially if she knew it ahead of time. Most people want a relationship to last...even if most don't. The trick to it all from my POV is to be able to know your own heart, know what you want from a partner, and have the sincerity to work on the relationship. If it doesn't work out after that, then it's not meant to be. Move on.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted