I will confront, it just seems like such a stupid thing to lie about. Part of me doesn't even care enough to confront, than the other part wants to get everything out in the open so it isn't like this flashing 'bullshit' sign in the back of my mind.
AgreedLying is a sign of a bad character. "Buyer Beware!"
BINGO! I agree.One small white lie can lead to others, so it is an issue with you. I guess you need to bring it up as best you can and explain it.
Thanks to all for the input,
He is lying about his age, it is not a huge issue. When we met, he said he was 40, making him 8 years older than I am. However, I have come to find out through our time together that he is closer to my Uncle's age. I know this because they went to rival schools, similar degrees, worked in the same industry, etc. which, even though he graduated from the Uni at 19, still makes him close to my Unc's age. My Uncle is 55, and this guy must be 3 to 5 years younger than him by my estimation, making him 20 or so years older than I am.
Again, this is not a deal breaker. But, I do bring up age or even we had a discussion about 1970's elections, which he no doubt voted in, he feigned ignorance. So, taking the advice here, I will call him out on it.
The older age was the part that would not a deal breaker, not the lie. Sorry for not expressing that more clearly.Agreed
BINGO! I agree.
You are this bothered that he knocked 12+ years off his age? Does he look 40 or does he look 52? I am normally a stickler for the truth, especially online; but if he is otherwise a good person. I would be tempted to let this slide.:redface:
Do you see a future with this man, do you want children? A man 20 years your senior may have already done the diaper routine and not be interested in doing it again. I don't know your story, but at this point in my life if a man doesn't have marriage potential I have no time for him.![]()
The older age was the part that would not a deal breaker, not the lie. Sorry for not expressing that more clearly.
He looks 40-45ish, he is originally from the Med, so dark olive skin and still has dark hair. I wish I had met him online, because then I would have drilled him. But, meeting in person makes you not want to be rude initially, ya know?
Can't say I have considered anything long term with him; I am not into marriage. But, he doesn't have any kids and actually has never married. I do not want children now, never have really wanted children, but will wait and see how I feel in a few years. He doesn't necessarily want kids, although he has mentioned that his parents still ask him about having a baby to continue the name. So, he's probably as undecided as I am.
Other than the age thing, he has his shit together. Smart, ivy league grad, two grad degrees, owns a few houses (should have been my first clue to his true age :tongue, loves sports as I do, travels extensively, laid back, light/rare drinker, no drugs, three long term relationships his whole life... a rare type of guy to find. But, I am not feeling any strong feelings or lust for him at this time.
I think this may have been his initial reasoning, to prevent rejection he fudged the number and because we date, he had to continue it or I would think he's a liar early on. I totally understand, I have done this when younger, just to fit in.I first replied to your post not knowing what the lie was and just now read the entire post. I'm 56; I'll be 57 in April. I'm youthful for my age, but I would never lie about it. I understand his motive, not that I condone it. I was talking to my 47 year old coworker a few weeks ago about how certain age groups (20s) are out of our league now. It's human nature to be attracted to youth and beauty and want to share our affection and hot sex with someone young, gorgeous, and hot. On the other hand, it would be difficult to have a successful relationship with someone 25 - 30 years younger than me. When I first joined LPSG, I didn't want to display my age. After a few weeks, I thought about and realized that if any of you people should become friends of mine, I would prefer you know the deal from the word go. I'm not the deceptive type; I have too strong of a conscience.
Good luck with your guy.
Because I like him a lot, it is a fun and totally relaxed time together. However, I'm not sure at this point if it is good male friend like or potential BF could grow into love and lust like. I have been super busy since meeting him - I mean, beyond busy. So, I am on vacay now and this is the first time i have put thought into my feelings. I do miss him.He sounds great; but if you have no strong feelings or even lust for him why go out with him?![]()
You haven't met me. I'm idealistic to a fault.no one is totally honest believe me
I am close to totally honest and even I can't get through a month w/out a little fib
So, I am dating a guy who is lying to me about something.
It is a small issue, and something I am not concerned about, but I have given him opportunities to come clean and he just won't. I have also told him how important honesty is to me and how I value the truth, no matter how bad, over any lie.
I guess the question is, should I confront him about the lie, even though he may feel attacked? He's very sensitive, having just left a long relationship. Or should I allow him to relax, see that I am not judgmental, and allow him to come clean in his own time?
Keep in mind that I really like this guy. We have been on several dates since October, he lives in L.I. and I am in NYC, but we see each other a few times a month and get a long very well. He's a great man, while I may not want to become serious with him at this point, if the romantic side does not work out, I would love to keep him as a friend. I just hate the lie, it makes me wonder what else his is lying about, you know?
So, I am dating a guy who is lying to me about something.
It is a small issue, and something I am not concerned about, but I have given him opportunities to come clean and he just won't. I have also told him how important honesty is to me and how I value the truth, no matter how bad, over any lie.
I guess the question is, should I confront him about the lie, even though he may feel attacked? He's very sensitive, having just left a long relationship. Or should I allow him to relax, see that I am not judgmental, and allow him to come clean in his own time?
Keep in mind that I really like this guy. We have been on several dates since October, he lives in L.I. and I am in NYC, but we see each other a few times a month and get a long very well. He's a great man, while I may not want to become serious with him at this point, if the romantic side does not work out, I would love to keep him as a friend. I just hate the lie, it makes me wonder what else his is lying about, you know?