"White" women Overseas

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by shaguar, Jun 20, 2006.

  1. shaguar

    shaguar Member

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    I want some comments on the article quoted below. It's really interesting that "Asian" men are not even mentioned as a possible alternative for white women. I think "white" refers to most women from the West.


    --------------------------
    Single, white and looking

    THEY are spoiling the market.
    So concludes an American friend about Asian women dating Caucasian men.
    And this said to me, an Asian who is dating a Caucasian man.
    It was hard to miss the irony, but then came her quick clarification.
    'I mean the Party Girls,' she says.
    Ah, yes, the infamous Sarong Party Girls - boon to Caucasian men who want to sow their wild oats in Asia, and bane to single, white females who find themselves in the midst of the ang mo's Asian playground.
    My friend, let's call her Sandy, is smart, svelte, sexy and intelligent.
    But, she says, it is impossible to score a decent date in Singapore because her male Caucasian counterparts are busy having their Asian fetishes serviced.
    'After all the gushing and fawning by the SPGs, the guys can't deal with anything less,' she laments.
    'Their egos are so inflated, they think every girl is dying to rub up against them. And these are guys who probably wouldn't even get a second look back home, sometimes not even a first look.'
    I was more surprised at her complaints than I was at being made to feel like a market-spoiling SPG, however briefly.
    I thought that Asia being a white man's playground was old news. And I thought everyone was done slamming SPGs.
    She wasn't.
    'When I got here a year ago, I was really surprised. I thought Singapore, where the women are better educated, would be more like other places I had been, like Australia, New York or Vancouver,' she continues.
    'I didn't think it was like Bangkok or Jakarta.'
    As a disclaimer, she adds that she is more than open to dating Asian men, though she says they seem to write her off, too.
    So, SPGs are back on the hate radar - at least for lonely Sandy.
    In fact, her tirade had not ended.
    She recounts how an American guy recently told her that he didn't date white women because they require 'too much energy'. He would have to think about what he says and does.
    'Right now, he doesn't have to try very hard. He'll have someone else tomorrow. SPGs don't even care what a man looks like, as long as he's white,' she concludes.
    UNTIL fairly recently, there weren't that many single Caucasian career women in Singapore, or in Asia for that matter.
    More seem to have come, mainly with hopes of fast-tracking their careers, though it doesn't appear to be doing likewise for their private lives.
    The topic was dealt with last month in an Asian Wall Street Journal article by Stan Sesser.
    In it, he quoted executive Julia Sleva, a 30-something Canadian living in Bangkok.
    Apparently, Ms Sleva's on the career superhighway, but her love life moves slower than peak-hour Bangkok traffic.
    Most Caucasian men in Bangkok are either married, gay or have a young Thai hanging on their arm, while most Thai men don't date expat women, she complains.
    Sesser adds: 'The difficulties of many single white women in Asia are so widespread that counsellors are dealing with it every day.'
    It's apparently no different in Singapore.
    One British female friend tells me: 'Many Caucasian men arrive as normal human beings and morph into total idiots after sleeping their way around the SPG hangouts.
    'They can't go back home and find a woman because it would shatter their illusions of being a sex god.'
    Another friend, an Australian, adds: 'Everywhere you look, a white guy is holding an Asian girl's hand. What's left for us?
    'Worse yet, after they've had them, the guys want everything small and submissive, and no questions asked.'

    WELL, at least it's a consolation that although I'm going out with a Caucasian, Sandy does not consider me an SPG.
    I'm different, she says.
    'You speak your mind and you are who you want to be; you don't just stand there and take everything,' she says.
    Indeed.
    I like to think I make my man - whatever colour of the rainbow he happens to be - put in as much energy into our relationship as he would have to with a Caucasian woman.
    Perhaps it's because the relationship I'm in has nothing to do with me wanting to find an easy way out of Singapore, or him wanting to find an easy way into me.
    Neither has it to do with the colour of our skins.
    In fact, I'm surprised that the single, white female doesn't see us - this new breed of Asian women dating white men - as a bigger threat than the fawning, you-are-a-white-god SPG.
    Because, if we are both avoiding the same sort of men - those who go through SPGs faster than you can say sarong - then aren't we potentially fighting for the same segment of men left?
    That is, white men who don't believe in the 'Asian and therefore easy' myth? White men who - gasp! - go out with a woman because of her character, brains and his interest in her culture?
    Whatever the case, I suggest to Sandy that she just ignore the SPGs and their white men.
    But she insists that it's not possible, given how SPGs have forced down standards across the board. They give in to their partner's obsessions so easily, the men take women for granted, SPG or otherwise.

    http://www.nomarriage.com/articleasia1.html
     
  2. Strontium

    Strontium New Member

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    As someone who knows the spg syndrome, my reply to "Sandy"in the article is thank goodness for asian girls, since all too many white girls (in the socio-cultural scenario depicted in that article)carry themselves like precious princesses whilst being trashy dogs in reality.
     
  3. naughty

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    Wow,

    This is so very intriguing because it echoes the feelings of so many black women in the states. Black men dating and marrying white, hispanic and asian women and not looking twice at women of their own race. I am sympathetic. I know it must feel terrible, but I suppose it is a buyer's market. I can give an example of how this works from an experiment of my own conducted on a well known online dating site.
    When I first registered I listed myself as "African American" I did not include my picture. The site itself matches you up according to personality, etc. I received few to no matches... I was curious what would happen if I entered "Other" on my form... My suspicions unfortunately were confirmed. Not only did I find my box brimming but the quality of men of all races (Education, socio economics etc) rose exponentially. Doctors, Lawyers, Investment bankers, I did at a certain point before sending my picture explain what my particular form of "other" meant. Most were undaunted or were too ashamed to blatantly reject due to ethnicity. Because of my appearance I have on occassion been asked my particular combination.I am sure however they were invisioning some amazingly exotic combination. But it did let me see there is bias sight unseen for certain groups of women. and that can be a good and a bad thing....
     
  4. Jessica

    Jessica New Member

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    Strange article. What is that about white women in Asia??
    There is no indigenous population of white women in Asia. Except for a few isolated cases, I do not think there is white people in Asia in numbers, like, for example, black women in US, or, Asian women in America, there is no such numbers, unless we are talking about tourists,, or women working there in corporations.
    This article seems to imply there is a wide segment of the population, the "white Singaporians", that get discriminated against.
    Hard to believe.
     
  5. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    JEssica,

    I believe it mentioned that these women were there for work. There may also be some residual colonials...




     
  6. Strontium

    Strontium New Member

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    There certainly are white women in Singapore!

    Most of them are expats with working visas or spouses who work there. Furthermore a smaller percent are indeed 'ïndigenous" (locally-born would be a better term).

    Altogether they do not constitute a large percent of the population, (perhaps 5%) but they are nonetheless ethnically conspicuous.
     
  7. Gisella

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    Well..i'm atracted to man that are compatible with me doesn't matter his collor or nationality.

    I do think that there is something that is worth to take a look at bcause it seems that first world men when have te opportunity are enjoying the company of third world women..i do not think there is anything to do with race but how woman in third world express themselves, treat men and etc...(if the demand of them are not prostitution$$$ and etc but relationships)

    I do think that if there are unresolved issues between men and women in their on cultures (and races) that must be dealth with...if their men goes "bananas" for other womens soooo much that they are let distress/hurt/or whatever...the women of another cultures are not to be blamed in my opinion.

    I had little experience with intercultural relationship in the US...and i remember the looks some black women gave me (and specialy him) for dating "their" black men...:rolleyes:
     
  8. Gisella

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    And i forgot about the Russians...they are white and are "messing up" relationships of other women and mostly whites ones too...

    Well...thats life...:smile:
     
  9. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Gisella,
    Sorry you had to go through that. I think it basically comes down to a numbers game. When you have a limited commodity, those who get left out of the game want to know why. Sometimes, they find the answers unacceptable.Personally, I have dated men of all three "races" and various ethnicities. I have found that after a very short while the differences boiled down to gender issues basically.








     
  10. Gisella

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    For sure Naughty, it does boiled down to that!

    :biggrin1:
     
  11. pichulon

    pichulon New Member

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    I love women. The situation expressed here, talks about , not really race as an issue, but, from what I see, attitudes of women.
    If the scenario could be taken from this one in which we have an asian host nation and white foreign "corporate" visa women , to the same situation ( female white foreing women) but in a white nation ( France, Italy, Denmark , etc )... we could see that the corporate ones would not get that much attention because these women probably are conceited and / or difficult to reach because of their power ( power transfering to monetary power, high wages , etc ).
    In both cases, the tourists ( being white in Singapur, as well as in the white countries , and all colors for that matter, I believe there is philipines, chinese, japaneses, korean, indonesian, etc tourists in Singapur too ) are off limits to these foreign workers, because those women live in a financial strata that is not attainable to many. A woman that makes six figures income is not going to meet guys on the street, that just does not happen.

    To the local singaporeans, it is more than just the financial difference, there is the cultural one. A wealthy asian singaporean will not feel at ease ( relationship wise, not talking about a one night thing ) with a white woman, and, white woman , in general, will not feel at ease with a local singaporean. It is cultural.

    The diference in incomes and surrounding worlds makes that difference in my opinion. If we were to take white women, but, not the high class wage wise ones, but, regular wage earners , those white women would be more available and in tune with regular folks ( the white tourists ), with the singaporeans, it will still be a cultural barrier.
    Also, we have to see that , and it is known, many white tourists that go to asian places go there to fullfill a fantasy about being with asian women. If that is the case, the goal will be one, and only one, an asian woman.

    Changing again the cards in this game, we can see the same thing happening in our side of the pond. Asian women coming here to work in corporations ( US ), will have a difficult time dating Asian guys to an extend. I know that asian men go crazy for white women, it is their ultimate fantasy.At least in the sexual realm, white women are their fantasy.
    In the end, though, cultural ties in the asian world are stronger than western worlds'. If I were living in Europe, I would not feel compelled to go out with american women, I would go out with any european woman that would be atractive to me. Asians are very closed in that matter , japanese marry japanese women, korean marry korean, philipine women marry philipine, chinese marry chinese, to a chinese, marrying a japanese would be an insult, they hate ea other...etc.

    Again, if the issue is european tourists not dating the white women that work in Asia, that is due to the financial strata in which they live ( corp woman vrs wage earning common white males ) , in my view.
     
  12. B_Spladle

    B_Spladle New Member

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  13. Strontium

    Strontium New Member

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    !

    er, NO.

    :cool:
     
  14. shaguar

    shaguar Member

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    Wow, some good responses. The site this was posted on is not the origin of the article. The actual article says that white expat women in a certain place are having a tought time attracting white men. The white men prefer the native girls. It is reasonable to assume that there are other places in which white women will have the same problem given the same conditions apply.

    If you look at the site that posted the article, you will understand the take on the situation. I know many women here won't like it. But I have met many Westerners, often in airplanes, who have confided that they are done with white women. The men I met were all white so I don't know if Westerners of other races have the same problems.

    Once bitten twice shy they say, and many of the men are divorced. One consistency I noticed was that these men said the white women wanted a good time, they wanted money, but they didn't really want to give anything, they didn't want to be women, that feminism had really given them a warped sense of what it is to be a woman. I believed these men sincerely want stable relationships, and some of them has or were planning to move overseas. Now, I haven't ever met anyone who fit this description who was young or a real stud. No Aaron Eckhart's character from In the Company of Men, if you know what I mean.

    But these men, as many cliches would have you believe, weren't old or hideous. Most appeared well set in their careers, and had obviously thought about financial stability, as well as prenups.

    I agree with the poster who said that Oriental men really want to score white women. That's what I have noticed as well, but I could be wrong. In their own countries they might not want to. It was striking to me in the article though that while the white men had used their perceived alpha-male status to broaden their gaming grounds, the white women restricted their play to white-only. But I know this article really opens up a can of worms.
     
  15. BobLeeSwagger

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    One could just as easily ask why black women are so reluctant to date men who aren't black.
     
  16. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Speaking for myself, I am not. I did for a number of years not vary my line of vision .But one day to quote the song, "my mama told me , you betta shop around!" But did you actually read what I said in my first post? Unfortunately though, choosing goes both ways. It seems as though many men of other races as well are not as willing to take a chance with a black woman. I am not refering to a fling, but someone who is willing to go the distance in a respectful fashion. It may not be something folks want to admit, but it is very real.

    Naughty


     
  17. Lordpendragon

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    I am in Korea at the moment.

    The article made me laugh - because her reaction to the situation explains the situation. She saw it all about her and it is, but not as she thinks. It is because she thinks that everything is about her that she is being rejected.

    You would be being stupid to dismiss the men as sad ego trippers - but then you probably don't have any respect for men being men anyway.

    It is only in the West that men are being put down for being men. Many Western men unsurprisingly are rejecting this and the women with it. This is a different situation to your experience of the deep rooted racism/xenophobia that you have experienced, Naughty.

    Most of the world accepts Yin and Yang in some way so it is about attitude not colour nor race.

    Is it really such a shock that men like being men? And guess what? men who are treated as men like to treat their women as women, and remarkably, some women actually like this. Perhaps this is the ultimate respect.
     
  18. Honey_Grrrl83

    Honey_Grrrl83 New Member

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    I get the evil eye from Indian women frequently,it's a natural thing,I guess:confused:
     
  19. BobLeeSwagger

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    I didn't say it was black women's "fault". Just that it goes both ways. It's not just a matter of other races not wanting to date black women.
     
  20. pichulon

    pichulon New Member

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    My experience with inter racial relations here in the US is that, when we are talking about Asian women in the states, those born here are very friendly and easy to get to know. Out of those that were bron here, some remain living in enclaves , and, are very closed minded. The same I can say about middle eastern women. I met some iranian women, that are gorgeous, but these women seemed to limited in their socialization . They limit themselves to iranian people only, in the romantic enviroment.Same can be said of asian woman born overseas, it is very difficult to get to know them. I met beautifull korean and japanese women, but, never made any inroads . Off course, I am not the last word in this matters. Another white guy might had have better luck. We are humans.
    African people from Africa are very friendly and it is easy to get to know them. Years ago I went out with a Morrocan girl, she was beautifull, and gorgeous. Very tall for a woman ( 6 ft). She went back and I never saw her again.
    With black american women, I never had any success. I have met older black american women ( away from my sexual age area ) and they seem to be very happy and easy to get along with. The kind you would meet at bank lines, stores, nice people.
    But, when it is a young attractive black woman, trying to get close is almost imposible. I think young attractive black women stay away from other races. I do not know if it is a defensive mechanism, or an open dislike or distrust for other races. Exceptions to the rule exist , off course.
    I think the media has exploited the black male white female situation, I wonder why, I think it is done in the same fashion all business is done. Create controversy, and you will create a line of business.
    I wonder why that aspect is exploited , while, you very seldom see anything about a black woman and a white man.
     
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