"During an interview with '60 Minutes' on Sunday, President Bush defended the invasion of Iraq, saying, 'We liberated that country from a tyrant. I think the Iraqi people owe the American people a huge debt of gratitude.' Said the Iraqi people, 'We've been meaning to send a card, but our Hallmark store keeps blowing up.'" --
"President Bush is still on the road trying to drum up support for his new Iraq program. Earlier today, he was on 'The View.' He was drunk. ... This time, Bush has an exit strategy for the Iraqi war. In January of 2009, he will escape to Crawford, Texas." --
"President Bush is being criticized for not mentioning New Orleans in his speech the other night. Today the president apologized and said, 'I can't believe I ignored New Orleans ... again.'" --
"A total now of eight people have announced that they want to be president. Eight people now want to be president. It's George Bush's fault. He has lowered the standard." --
"I'll give President Bush credit though. He addressed the problems troubling Americans -- the war in Iraq, the economy, the need to develop alternative fuels. He seemed to know what we were thinking. It's almost as if he was reading our mail or listening to our phone calls." --