I've recently been thinking about identity in general, but particularly gender identity. One thing that has come to mind is the idea that we as individuals determine who we are and how we relate to the world around us.
For me this is a really tough position. Sure a person may know who they are internally - likes, dislikes, relating to others, connectedness, fitting in etc - and at the same time is it naive (at best) or arrogant (at worst) to assume I am the sole influence on my own identity?
For example, I may have firm truly held beliefs about who I am and other people in wider society totally disagreeing or having a different view. Does our identity not hinge on how we are interpreted and interact with the world around us? To think that this isn't the case is, in my view, rather simplistic. Identity factors in how we are with other people, yet to say "I am X" and expecting people to accept or agree with us can lead to huge issues in our relations with others. What if their view isn't consistent with ours? Do we look internally and ask whether we have an accurate view of ourselves or do we blame those around us for not "listening"?
Personally I say to any individual regardless of background/orientation/belief - be who you want to be and act with genuineness and integrity and at the same time acknowledge/accept that your internal narrative is not necessarily going to be validated by those in the outside world. And that is shit, and painful, and alienating. My sibling is trans and has often said "I can't make people call me them/their/they and I know my self-concept is not a absolute truth because who I am is, at least in part, predicated on my interactions with the outside world". I respect that immensely.
Thoughts? remember this is a genuine question in good faith
For me this is a really tough position. Sure a person may know who they are internally - likes, dislikes, relating to others, connectedness, fitting in etc - and at the same time is it naive (at best) or arrogant (at worst) to assume I am the sole influence on my own identity?
For example, I may have firm truly held beliefs about who I am and other people in wider society totally disagreeing or having a different view. Does our identity not hinge on how we are interpreted and interact with the world around us? To think that this isn't the case is, in my view, rather simplistic. Identity factors in how we are with other people, yet to say "I am X" and expecting people to accept or agree with us can lead to huge issues in our relations with others. What if their view isn't consistent with ours? Do we look internally and ask whether we have an accurate view of ourselves or do we blame those around us for not "listening"?
Personally I say to any individual regardless of background/orientation/belief - be who you want to be and act with genuineness and integrity and at the same time acknowledge/accept that your internal narrative is not necessarily going to be validated by those in the outside world. And that is shit, and painful, and alienating. My sibling is trans and has often said "I can't make people call me them/their/they and I know my self-concept is not a absolute truth because who I am is, at least in part, predicated on my interactions with the outside world". I respect that immensely.
Thoughts? remember this is a genuine question in good faith
