Who gets to get off?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Not_Punny, Jul 29, 2008.

  1. Not_Punny

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    So I'm having a discussion with someone. I think the following two statements are true. He says that I am wrong.

    (A) When a woman orgasms first, she usually continues and gets the guy off.

    (B) But when a guy orgasms first, usually the "party is over" and if the gal hasn't gotten off yet, she's out of luck.


    What is the REAL DEAL on this subject??!!
     
  2. trentster

    trentster New Member

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    When it cums (HA) to me, once the woman can't take anymore (orgasmed out) she gets up and leaves. Then again, my sexual experience is all going down on women.
     
  3. D_Coyne Toss

    D_Coyne Toss New Member

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    Usually my wife and I come at about the same time.

    It is also common that she comes first, and then jerks me off.

    When I come first I bring her to orgasm fingering her.

    WTF is it with men that come and then let her there?? A female friend of mine had a boyfriend who acted that way, and she looked for orgasms with other men, before breaking up with him.
     
  4. Not_Punny

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    LOL -- well, so far I'm wrong on both counts. :dunno:

    Any other comments?

    And how about gay couples -- how do they schedule orgasms??! Any input on this is welcome!
     
  5. ManlyBanisters

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    I've been with more than a few guys for whom the sex stops when they cum. Mostly, though, they were the types who would hold off on cumming til I had cum at least once (and presumably it was the same with their other partners).

    Male orgasm is often seen as the terminal point of a hetro encounter. It used to be more accepted that the woman got what she could on the way there and now it is more accepted that the guy has to get her off / help her get herself off first.

    Because the female orgasm is not associated with an (overt) ejaculation (in most cases) after which penetrative intercourse becomes more difficult, if not impossible, it seems to me somewhat natural that sex can continue more easily after female climax than after male.

    That said, if the man cums and the woman has not yet cum he needs to take part in a non-penetrative activity (assuming he's gone soft) that will get her off. Likewise, if the woman cums and the man has not yet cum she needs to take part in an activity that gets him off - the difference there, of course, is that penetration is far less likely to be precluded.

    Which do I think happens more often? In other people's experience, I have no idea - reading here and talking to friends I'm guessing you, N_P, are leaning towards being more correct, but there are no absolutes. In my experience, neither. Sex isn't over til we're both fully sated. There maybe a half hour break for rehydration, ablution and such - but it ain't over til it's over. And even then sometimes not... :biggrin1:
     
  6. D_percypenguin

    D_percypenguin Account Disabled

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    orgasms can be scheduled ???

    -----------------------

    If I don't get that special person Off, I cant get off, I really need for them to cum before I can.... Don't know why, that's just always been the case for me.
     
  7. LilCuckHubby

    LilCuckHubby Member

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    When I do have sex with my wife I always eat or finger her to 2 or 3 orgasms before to penetrate her. I have a very small cock and tend to cum quickly so I try to make sure she is satisfied beforehand but there have been times when she fingered her to orgasm afterwards as well.
     
  8. Catchoftheday

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    I don't really know, but I'm willing to do some research with you if you think that would help.
     
  9. Drifterwood

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    Women have orgasms?????????? :eek:
     
  10. Nala

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    N_P, I've been with more than a few (B)-guys. (A) fits me.
     
  11. Hellboy0

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    I'm exactly the same way. In fact, it's often the case for me to not cum with my partner on the first go...rather I give him/them a chance to recover and then off we go again. My orgasms don't depend on always 'spewing' (though that is great)...I've always been a long-goer, which makes me very popular with guys who need me to go the distance, rather than the 2 minute blow-and-go.

    I reckon if I was bi, I'd be extremely popular with the ladies...anyone want to convert me? LOL
     
  12. Rekkuza

    Rekkuza Member

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    Don't give your gender too much credit, I've found that (A) is as rare as (B) is common.
     
  13. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    Oh Oh Yes Yes You're the Best! will you get off me, I'm trying to watch tv.
     
  14. Diesel2215

    Diesel2215 New Member

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    If my wife doesn't come then I feel like a failure. Often if its late and she's tired. She still wants to have sex. But doesn't come easily. I will always simulate her with with my finger. I often get upset, when she knows she doesn't come when she is tired, I tell her rather leave it for another night when she is really up to it. I will rather masturbate then have sex and she doesn't come. I've never been a selfish lover.
     
  15. Not_Punny

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    Thanks guys. I see that some people share my views/experiences, any many people do not.

    ANy other comments? :cool: :wink:
     
  16. Lng_1

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    A truly unselfish lover will tend to the needs of his mate, before his own. My take-- touches, kisses, licks, tonguing, many orgasms...... then your own.
     
  17. WhiteZombie

    WhiteZombie New Member

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    I wouldn't say I feel like a failure. That's kinda...I don't know...emo? Immature? I enjoy making my girl cum just as much as the next guy, but I'm fully aware that there's outside influences beyond my control that may keep her from doing so from time to time. And I trust that she's honest when she says she doesn't need a mind-blowing orgasm everytime we make love. I'll certainly go down on her (pussy leaking cum or not :wink:), so long as I didn't bring her to orgasm that way before intercourse...something about the clit being too sensitive? Females are weird.
     
  18. CALAMBO

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    lng1 has said it best...a caring loving relationship will make the difference...pls her first then pls yourself...doing so will pay many benefits later...
     
  19. D_Kilkhampton Largehole

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    True. I care much more about my partner's pleasure than my own. So (B) defenitely doesn't count for me. I had oral sex with one girl and could make her cum 4 times by using only my mouth and tongue. I loved going down on her and it satisfied me much more than my own orgasm. I would hate getting off myself and knowing that my partner didn't enjoy it for one second, I would feel like I used her, and that is incredibly selfish. I would even be ashamed.
     
  20. Scorpiorising

    Scorpiorising New Member

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    Here is a response from a gay man and "scheduling" orgasms. Personally, I've always found I tend to ride the other person's pleasure. As the intensity rises for my partner, my own intensity rises. Sadly, if I don't orgasms shortly after my partner, I end up playing the performance game trying to work one out of me (usually with poor results).

    Though I don't consider myself selfish in any sense, I have found that once I orgasm I simply have no energy and no focus to continue. It sounds strange, but I have tried to orally finish someone off after the fact (a few times) and actually found myself getting repulsed. I don't understand it, I love giving head, but it's the truth. The orgasm isn't really so important to me, and for fear of being the selfish lover, I concentrate on my partner instead. The problem arises when I find someone who is geared toward me cumming first and will not be able to perform unless he thinks it's going that direction. Rather than pulling out the "surprise, I'm finished. Game over," on anyone, I always let people know before hand my situation.

    Oh yeah. It sometimes takes me a long time to cum. I've never been with a woman, but I've often considered that if I were, the selfish lover issue would never come up.
     
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