Deb: A friend of mine actually asked this question of me, so she inspired to me to ask it here. Guys, when you're receiving a blowjob from your partner, do you feel like the one "in power"? Do you have the sense that you're in control of the other person? My friend says that when she's going down on her guy she has all the power and control over him in terms of when and how she gives him pleasure, but I feel the exact opposite...I feel like the submissive one in "servicing" my b/f ( this a wanted feeling for me, btw). I guess it would depend alot on whether the guy returns the favor, but even when my b/f is eating me I still feel like he's holding the sexual control over me, or rather I choose to see it that way. What do all of you think?....who mostly holds the power and control during oral sex?
remotehypnosis: It is a shared experience and we are all one anyway so I would say the power is shared equally always.
I have never viewed sex as an exercise of 'power' or 'control'. It's a partnership, a sharing, a communion. Both people (or all people, if more than a duet) involved are of equal worth, and the idea of one partner dominating the other just turns me off. I'm a top, but that doesn't mean I view my partner who is bottoming as submissive. He is as active a participant as I am, and it is important to me that he enjoys the encounter as much as I do. Maybe my view on this matter is why I think that 69 is such a great arrangement.
I agree with what has been said.
But, i also realized...when I'm receiving the blowjob i sometimes feel like the powerful one.
But, that is kinda silly, because my pleasure is somewhat in someone else's hands....ummm.....MOUTH.
hrrrrrrmmmmmm. I'll have to think about this some more.
:blink:
But, i also realized...when I'm receiving the blowjob i sometimes feel like the powerful one.
But, that is kinda silly, because my pleasure is somewhat in someone else's hands....ummm.....MOUTH.
hrrrrrrmmmmmm. I'll have to think about this some more.
:blink:
pdrprst: I definitely feel that she is in power when she goes down on me. My manhood is between her teeth and she is about to give me a sensational orgasm. Blowjob orgasms are in a different category from intercourse orgasms. Not that they are better, but they are more rare for me because of the jaw fatigue issue.
As far as when I go down on someone, I feel empowered. I am in control of her orgasm for better or worse.
As far as when I go down on someone, I feel empowered. I am in control of her orgasm for better or worse.
MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK
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I agree with DMW, coming from a hetero perspective. Sex by and large, is only really controlling if that's what you're into. But in my own humble POV, it is a mutual expression of physical attraction, and I would also agree that 69'ing is also an excellent expression of that attraction.
jeepwranglerboi
Experimental Member
Totally agreed. (I know, I know... surprise, surprise
) I don't really see it as a control/power thing. I mean if you are role playing or something that is one thing but under "normal" circumstances, I view it as a partnership with equal control. I really get off on giving my partner pleasure, especially when it comes to oral sex but I just don't see it as if I am control and he isn't.- jonb,
Yeah, there's the whole "pleasure from seeing how much pleasure you can give your partner".
Sex can be about controlling. Prostitutes are controlled by their pimp, for example. But, if there's no commerce (and resultant Marxist drama) involved, sex isn't really about controlling unless you're into BDSM.
All in all, your ideal sex life is whatever you're both into, occasionally doing for your partner what he or she's into and you're not. If he or she likes giving you a blowjob and you like getting blown (Who doesn't?), then by all means.
Sex can be about controlling. Prostitutes are controlled by their pimp, for example. But, if there's no commerce (and resultant Marxist drama) involved, sex isn't really about controlling unless you're into BDSM.
All in all, your ideal sex life is whatever you're both into, occasionally doing for your partner what he or she's into and you're not. If he or she likes giving you a blowjob and you like getting blown (Who doesn't?), then by all means.
ExoBus:
When I am receiving, I am totally helpless.
As far from in control as you can be.... I like it that way.
In every other aspect of life, I am in control... so it kinda balances me out.
When I am receiving, I am totally helpless.
As far from in control as you can be.... I like it that way.
In every other aspect of life, I am in control... so it kinda balances me out.
To the original question i believe the guy getting his cock sucked holds the power and the person sucking is submissive. Afterall, it is what it is.
When a guy goes down on a woman he is still in control because he is ultimately going to fuck her and she knows it. During intercourse, the man has the power---outside of the bedroom the woman holds all the power, but that is a different question.
This love and mutual respect stuff exists but the raw act itself has to have a dominate party a.k.a. the power position.
I have read a guy that has no self preceived control or power in his everyday life will want or will be a top in gay sex to gain a sense of control. And a dude that has power in life will usually bottom to give up control. The one's that are versatile i would assume well adjusted.
When a guy goes down on a woman he is still in control because he is ultimately going to fuck her and she knows it. During intercourse, the man has the power---outside of the bedroom the woman holds all the power, but that is a different question.
This love and mutual respect stuff exists but the raw act itself has to have a dominate party a.k.a. the power position.
I have read a guy that has no self preceived control or power in his everyday life will want or will be a top in gay sex to gain a sense of control. And a dude that has power in life will usually bottom to give up control. The one's that are versatile i would assume well adjusted.
- vega,
Bull shit my reply didn't post for some reason.
Oh well here it is again. My girl and I have a master subbie relationship so when I am recieving oral it is usually in a "serving my master" sort of way. I enjoy this but not because of a control issue mroe because I enjoy being worshipped and lusted after. ::blushing::
Any ways. When I go down on her it is very much taking care of my little subbie, making her scream, and giving her a reward. Lol I have an oral fixation.
Oh well here it is again. My girl and I have a master subbie relationship so when I am recieving oral it is usually in a "serving my master" sort of way. I enjoy this but not because of a control issue mroe because I enjoy being worshipped and lusted after. ::blushing::
Any ways. When I go down on her it is very much taking care of my little subbie, making her scream, and giving her a reward. Lol I have an oral fixation.
jeepwranglerboi
Experimental Member
I fully agree with that. Though it's totally nice to be tied down every once in a while
[post=277276]Quoted post[/post]
[/b][/quote]*Makes mental note to bring the silk ropes to Nixxy's next time*
toad8it: When I'm on the recieving end of a bj,I'm totally helpless-they are in control.
viking
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surferboy
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I fully agree with that. Though it's totally nice to be tied down every once in a while
[post=277276]Quoted post[/post]
OOHH Myyy.
I didn't know!
You're a bit kinky for your age bud.
Have you ever seen a grown VIKING naked?
[post=277355]Quoted post[/post]
[/quote]Can't say I have
And there's nothin wrong with a little kink.
viking
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I fully agree with that. Though it's totally nice to be tied down every once in a while
[post=277276]Quoted post[/post]
OOHH Myyy.
I didn't know!
You're a bit kinky for your age bud.
Have you ever seen a grown VIKING naked?
[post=277355]Quoted post[/post]
Can't say I have
And there's nothin wrong with a little kink.
[post=277382]Quoted post[/post]
[/quote]No, Nothing at all.
I was trying to be sly, you know.
But back to that honesty thing.
"Hey Surfer boy, I'm feeling a little turned on by your posts. Even though I don't usually
go for guys much younger than me, you seem pretty cool and like you have your shit together.
I like to mess around sometimes with other guys and i'd like to show you my viking cock.
Interested."
How's that?
On the few occasions that I thought about it, I thought there was an unusual dominant/submissive feeling to both partners. After all, someone with your penis in his/her mouth could seriously injure you with one bite. There's a lot of trust there. And there is some power in pleasuring someone too.
cegro27:
I like the feeling of submission when I'm giving a bj...the idea is that he has what I want (his huge cock), and he can either give it to me or withhold it. On the other hand, I can't force him to take a bj from me, and if I refuse to give him one, well then he'll just find someone else to give it to him.
By nature I seem to always resist authority and control. I rarely ever do what someone tells me to do...pit me against an authoritative, controlling person an you're just asking for a fight. I guess that's why I never joined the military, they would've kicked me out of boot camp as soon as I got there. :lol: And yet, I seem to only be attracted to dominating, commanding tops. They have to be 100% aggressive tops. I don't like it when "I" have to tell them what to do in bed, turns me off. They have to take charge of my ass totally. Strange isn't it. :huh:
I like the feeling of submission when I'm giving a bj...the idea is that he has what I want (his huge cock), and he can either give it to me or withhold it. On the other hand, I can't force him to take a bj from me, and if I refuse to give him one, well then he'll just find someone else to give it to him.
By nature I seem to always resist authority and control. I rarely ever do what someone tells me to do...pit me against an authoritative, controlling person an you're just asking for a fight. I guess that's why I never joined the military, they would've kicked me out of boot camp as soon as I got there. :lol: And yet, I seem to only be attracted to dominating, commanding tops. They have to be 100% aggressive tops. I don't like it when "I" have to tell them what to do in bed, turns me off. They have to take charge of my ass totally. Strange isn't it. :huh:
