who here has chosen to stay eternally single?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by concupisys, Jan 17, 2012.

  1. concupisys

    concupisys Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2007
    Messages:
    843
    Likes Received:
    95
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    toronto
    who else on LPSG has decided to stay single and not actively seek a long term partner? i've never had a real boyfriend or girlfriend before, and though i have briefly dated guys, just know deep down that i'm not the type to be in a relationship with someone.... anyone else here feel the same way? and why?

    and most importantly: are you happy staying single?
     
  2. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    i'm happy single.
    if love came along i wouldn't spit in it's face, but i'm not going looking for it.
     
  3. buzzrider7

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2009
    Messages:
    721
    Albums:
    5
    Likes Received:
    1,457
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Francisco (CA, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    I'm not consciously choosing to be eternally single, but I have fully embraced (and am very happy with the idea) that it may be a strong possibility. :)
     
  4. ScorpioSlut

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2008
    Messages:
    617
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Tennessee
    Verified:
    Photo
    I am single and have been single for about 5 years now. I am perfectly happy in every aspect of my life. While I am not actively searching for love should it come along I would fully embrace it. I am just not in the mood to run around searching for something that I have already had and lost as I do not think I will ever find that again. It doesn't make me sad that my past love has ended rather I think it has made me a better and more complete person with a more full understanding of myself. With that understanding has come the knowledge that most people are not meant to be in the type of relationship that I need and desire. Call me what you like but I'll politely ignore you and call myself VERY HAPPY.
     
  5. concupisys

    concupisys Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2007
    Messages:
    843
    Likes Received:
    95
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    toronto
    interesting.... @ScorpioSlut: what was so unique about your past relationship and the relationship you desire that makes you feel as though you won't find another one like it?
     
  6. cd1985

    cd1985 Member

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2011
    Messages:
    94
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    I felt that way for a long time, and I still sort of do.

    I think there's a wide array of definitions for the word "single" itself, as some people rave about "the single lifestyle" and how it entails sleeping around. For myself, I was probably more of a "Quirkyalone" type as a single guy. I didn't have my first relationship (or first date, or first kiss, or first sex) until I was almost 25 just because I never bothered to seek it out. Never had the inclination to pursue a relationship until I fell for a coworker. We've been together for over a year now, but if it goes downhill at some point I don't foresee myself going into a frenzy of dating just to fill a void. Single is good. Stable relationship is good. It's all good.
     
  7. Remington

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2010
    Messages:
    1,634
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    46
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Washington/Arizona
    Verified:
    Photo
    I prefer being single.

    Not even remotely interested in a long term "romantic" relationship.
     
  8. tulsabyla

    tulsabyla Member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2010
    Messages:
    135
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    cali
    The love of my life died at 21 of a congenital heart defect, and the other guys i have dated cheated and lied to my face and used me. I have been hurt so many times in the past, that I can never trust anyone ever again, so I choose to not date, and remain single. Its just not in the cards for me, and I'm ok with that. I have dated others, but always choose the "wrong" guys. Im ok being single, and not looking.


    Will Never Marry Lyrics
    Artist(Band):Morrissey

    I'm writing this to say
    In a gentle way
    Thank You - but no
    I will live my life as I
    Will undoubtedly die - alone

    I'm writing this to say
    In a gentle way
    Thank You ...
    I will live my life as I ... want
    For whether you stay
    Or you stray
    An inbuilt guilt catches up with you

    And as it comes around to your place
    At 5 A.M.; wakes you up and it laughs in your face
     
  9. B_enzia35

    B_enzia35 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2011
    Messages:
    878
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Texas
    Opening up is difficult for me to do. Single I stay.
     
  10. ScorpioSlut

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2008
    Messages:
    617
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Tennessee
    Verified:
    Photo
    @concupisys...It is mostly to do with the person. His personality was beautiful and unique and I've never met anyone who was remotely like him. The other has to deal with the fact that I've had a somewhat horrible past that to some degree still mandates certain things in my present life. He was the only person who has ever truly understood that and that I could completely let my guard down and trust. I do not want to be in a relationship where I have to have walls built up or I'm always worried about something. If I can't have that then to me what is the point? I will never truly be happy if I'm always worried about either what the other person thinks about my now quirky behaviors or if those quirky behaviors will almost inevitably cause them to leave. I'd rather be single than go through life worried with all of that.
     
  11. rbkwp

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2007
    Messages:
    29,310
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1,935
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Auckland (AUK, NZ)
    Done my dash with relationships, and more than content to fly and remain solo, for the balance of life
    No sweat'
    Nothing in the world would persuade me otherwise.
     
  12. avg_joe

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    3,284
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    I am happy to be a single, and will always be a single.
     
  13. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    for me, the single lifestyle does not involve sleeping around. i've had sex one time in the last two-three years. the single lifestyle involves being too busy with work and kids to worry about love.
     
  14. SoloAqui

    SoloAqui Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2011
    Messages:
    158
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Central USA
    When did you decided to stay single?

    Opening up makes me vulnerable. But in time for me I understood my strengths & weakness and accepted them. I work on my weakness and try to improve my strengths. I am better with my lack of openness; I don't know about being vulnerable. Are you pretty open with friends?


    Sorry. Being hurt, lied, and used all sux.
    I was single for a long time and was content. I was not looking when opportunity came along; there were many opportunities missed looking back on it.
    I commend those that stay single, to be single.
     
  15. ladsonbehr49

    ladsonbehr49 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2006
    Messages:
    240
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    north charleston, south carolina
    I had the love of my life and he died years ago and had several failed relationship and like others was hurt but I have put all that behind me and if mr right comes along great and if not, I am happy being by myself.

    I look it this way, I do not have to date and I do not need sex from a stranger who maybe lying about his status and they all do and I make sure I say this to myself every day.

    I am not a cow and I do not give my milk away for free...what do I get from you for my milke? Dinner drinks...I am open for any possiblity.
     
  16. willow78

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2008
    Messages:
    5,848
    Albums:
    4
    Likes Received:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Australia
    I wouldn't say I have "chosen" to be permanently single, but it's something I definitely see happening.

    I have been shy and introverted my whole life, so going out and meeting people is something that rarely happens and I don't enjoy doing. Like others have said, if an opportunity came along I would follow it, but I don't know how such an opportunity would arise.

    I don't drink so you won't find me hanging out in bars. The only time I go out is when I go shopping. I dont relate well to other people (not even my own family). 'LPSG' and 'Just Us Boys' internet forums are my only real socializing.

    Being in my 30's but still a virgin doesn't fill me with hope. I feel a bit 'stuck in the middle' about it - 30's seem still a bit too young to be in "THE" relationship, but I should have had SOMETHING by now.

    So as much as I want it to happen, I just can't see how. My shyness and introversion are very big barriers.

    I think I'm going to be one of those people you hear about on the news - found dead in their squat being eaten by their 10 cats.
     
    #16 willow78, Jan 18, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2012
  17. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2010
    Messages:
    9,873
    Likes Received:
    11
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    NSW, Australia
    *giggles* Until recently I thought I was going to be one of those people too!! I was very much resigned to being single and really quite happy with that status.

    Then I went searching online for a new FB or three and found Sir. Sometimes it really does get you when you least expect it. No more old cat lady status for me.
     
  18. concupisys

    concupisys Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2007
    Messages:
    843
    Likes Received:
    95
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    toronto
    @ScorpioSlut: i can totally relate to the issue of past experiences having such a huge impact on present relationships.... i've met all kinds of guys who, after realizing how 'jaded' i am, seem to take it upon themselves to 'save' me from something.... but i don't want to be saved.... i don't want to trick people in to thinking i'm well adjusted either.... it frustrates these people to no end that i just won't let go and fall in to something that COULD be great, but life has simply bitten me in the ass too many times to feel any sense of trust in love and relationships.... as far as i'm concerned, i'm doing them a service by not getting in to a relationship wit them.... but i must say: it says a lot about these people when i turn them down and they freak out on me, saying i'm ashamed of who i am and that i'm hiding behind some bizzare truth that i'm not willing to accept....

    @Solo: i decided to stay single a couple of years ago.... nothing really prompted the decision but a realization that i'm simply too fucked up to be in a relationship.... i've seen countless friends of mine in great relationships, and another sea of friends have a string of really bad ones that leave them with a lot of baggage.... it's not something i can relate to, and after observing both sides of the coin i just know that's something i don't want.... not even the ideal of it.... i haven't even dated in 4 years, and have only ever dated 2 people for about 4 weeks each.... both experiences didn't end all that great....
     
  19. rbkwp

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2007
    Messages:
    29,310
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1,935
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Auckland (AUK, NZ)
    Relationships began late for me, from age 29
    Circumstances and how it developed
    Had a lot i wanted to achieve, prior to that, and it was fortunate it happened that way, i believe.
     
  20. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    my singledom is more about being content single, not so much about being bruised by past relationships.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted