Who here is like me and doesnt want to be married?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_theaussieone, Feb 24, 2011.

  1. B_theaussieone

    B_theaussieone New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2011
    Messages:
    402
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    until they are much older. Why would i get married in my early 20's. Shouldnt i be playing the field, travelling. Not shaking down, getting a mortage, getting kids, a dog and all the other stuff that goes with being married?
     
  2. petite

    petite New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,539
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    Don't rush it. Enjoy life. Enjoy your lovers, and treat them well, try your best to part as friends. Try to maximize the best parts of your relationships and leave before the good memories of the two of you become tainted. Your memories can bring you joy if you know how to build good ones.

    If love is meant to be, then it will happen, but don't try to force it or plan it or refuse it because it comes at an inconvenient time. Real life is messy and rarely goes according to anyone's plans.

    I was like you in my 20s. I wasn't sure I would get married, but I believed in serial monogamy. I was mostly just a free spirit, letting life take me here or there and always trying to make the best of things.

    Now I'm married to a great guy and I'm in my 30s and I'm happy.
     
  3. wallyj84

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2008
    Messages:
    2,742
    Likes Received:
    682
    The most high status people usually get married in their 20's. Those that are left over in their 30's are the unwanted mid to low status individuals and those who are 40 and still unmarried are quite often defective.

    It is your choice to marry or not, but keep in mind the fact that if you're unmarried past a certain point in life, you will never find a partner worth having. You will find someone, but only someone low status or even defective.
     
  4. borntobeking

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2010
    Messages:
    606
    Albums:
    10
    Likes Received:
    191
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Willingboro (NJ, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Nicely put.

    Yes, life rarely works out according to a pre-determined schedule. I knew I wanted to be married but never knew when. As it turned out I got married at 25. When that undeniable truth hit me I knew that it was the right time for me.

    Enjoy your life Bro. When it's supposed to happen it will but in the meantime, have fun and like Petite said, don't hurt anybody:wink:
     
  5. borntobeking

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2010
    Messages:
    606
    Albums:
    10
    Likes Received:
    191
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Willingboro (NJ, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Wow. Umm..okay :frown1:
     
  6. arthurdent

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2006
    Messages:
    2,935
    Albums:
    5
    Likes Received:
    336
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    High Wycombe (GB)
    Oh dear, it looks like I'm defective then.
     
  7. MisterSix

    MisterSix New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2010
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    1
    I agree -- don't rush it. When it's right, it's right.

    A friend of mine wanted to be married in the worst way. So he married his high school sweetheart as soon as he could.

    I think they were finished three years later. It was a bad breakup. At one point, she locked him out of the house. On a cold winter day. She ended up taking everything.
     
  8. Brillig47

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2008
    Messages:
    1,242
    Likes Received:
    112
    Gender:
    Male
    This is evil pernicious rubbish What complete bollix. You should be banned for expressing such vile, discriminatory poison. My parents were married when my mother was in her thirties, and my father in his forties,and thay were good-looking, highly qualified and talented, and devoted to each other for over 30 years. Go figure.
     
  9. wallyj84

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2008
    Messages:
    2,742
    Likes Received:
    682
    Overreacting a bit, aren't we? What I said was not hateful and definitely not evil.


    It's the truth.

    Now, there might be a few high status people who remained unmarried into their thirties and perhaps even forties, but they are a minority, not a majority. The high status, high value people generally get married in their twenties.
     
  10. borntobeking

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2010
    Messages:
    606
    Albums:
    10
    Likes Received:
    191
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Willingboro (NJ, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    This may be possible (though I do not agree) I am just cautious about using absolute terms. You stated earlier that "past a certain point in life, you will never find a partner worth having". Never? I may even be willing to argue that it could possibly be more difficult but, never? There is no way to prove or even quantify that.
     
  11. B_Bjen2848

    B_Bjen2848 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2007
    Messages:
    950
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Mars, vacate in the bermuda triangle

    lol how is that evil? of course what he said doesnt apply to everyone .. but in general, what he said was true .. personally im going to wait until im in my mid-late 20's to try and find a woman who is wifey material
     
  12. MarkLondon

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2008
    Messages:
    1,986
    Albums:
    4
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London, UK
    Wrong. In the UK where we have a far longer history of ranking people according to their status, heterosexual high-worth individuals usually get married in their 30s when they have fully established themselves. Mid-status people probably more likely to pair up in their 20s and the lowest of the low partner, or at least breed, in their teens.

    I think you need to learn to distinguish between "high status" and "popular in high school".
     
  13. Brillig47

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2008
    Messages:
    1,242
    Likes Received:
    112
    Gender:
    Male
    OK, so I got seriously pissed off by what seemed at first reading to be totally prejudiced writing. OK, so I should have asked, just what do you mean by "high-status". Upper class? Rich? And low status???Poor, working class??? It's all pretty murky water.

    I apologise for losing it, but to say that people are never going to have a chance of marriage if they leave it late is complete nonsense.
     
  14. B_theaussieone

    B_theaussieone New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2011
    Messages:
    402
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I'm pretty positive that age of first marriage is not an indicator of social class. There are actual factors like place of employment, sallary, net worth, where you live etcetra
     
  15. Charles Finn

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2006
    Messages:
    2,538
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    29
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Toledo Ohio
    my cousin just got married for the first time and he is 50 so never say never
    she is a great lady has a grown daughter and we all lover her very much
    just because it is what you believe
    never say never
     
  16. B_Bjen2848

    B_Bjen2848 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2007
    Messages:
    950
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Mars, vacate in the bermuda triangle

    in my opinion someone who is of "high status" is someone who is highly desired .. for example

    a woman who is relatively young (mid to late 20's, early 30's), physically attractive, has a good job or is highly ambitious, not "slutty", caring, and an overall nice person, then she is of high status

    now a woman who is like 40+, unattractive, doesnt have a job with no ambitions, been around the block a alot, not motherly, and an overall bad person, then she is of low status

    and of course there are plenty of people in between

    the same goes for men of course .. i think its a pretty simple concept
     
  17. borntobeking

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2010
    Messages:
    606
    Albums:
    10
    Likes Received:
    191
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Willingboro (NJ, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    I see where that may be valid. However, I do not think the age has anything to do with it. If a woman is 20, unattracive, doesnt have a job, etc. etc... She falls into the same category.
     
  18. B_Bjen2848

    B_Bjen2848 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2007
    Messages:
    950
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Mars, vacate in the bermuda triangle

    yeah no doubt .. actually i would think that would be worse than a 40 year old b/c a 20 year old is going to be all those negative traits AND immature
     
  19. Over-reaching

    Over-reaching Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2008
    Messages:
    961
    Likes Received:
    82
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London
    The only part of this statement that I agree with is the first eight words!

    To the OP, don't rush into marriage because of apparent social pressures or fear of being "left behind". It will happen when it's time, and if it doesn't then it doesn't. Far better surely to be happily single than unhappily married.

    If you're in your early twenties, enjoy life, travel (as you say), enjoy sex and take your pleasures as you find them, enjoy love if it happens and bear in mind that it might not be permanent if it does, and notch up some general life experience. :biggthumpup2:
     
  20. borntobeking

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2010
    Messages:
    606
    Albums:
    10
    Likes Received:
    191
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Willingboro (NJ, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Good point. You're right about that:biggrin1:
     
Draft saved Draft deleted