Who I AM

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Freddie53, Mar 17, 2005.

  1. Freddie53

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2004
    Messages:
    7,285
    Likes Received:
    61
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The South, USA
    Dear LPSG members,

    I decided that this was the place to clear up some things.

    Thanks for the very generous support I have gotten here in the past. It has made a difference in my life. But thre have been one or two questions about me and what I stand for. I decided my own thread was the answer to clear it up.

    Yes I am a practicing Christian, member of the United Methodist Church. My faith, my beliefs, and even my church of choice have come into question So here goes. No, I don't think being gay is a sin or being bi is a sin either, You are who you are. And having gay relationships is not a sin either. I believe that God comes to every person during their lifetime. That is God as you understand the Creator to be. there will be Muslims, Christians, Buddhists and so forth in heaven.

    I don't beleve in Dante's version of hell. Hell is just the place were evil is wiped out. People will either go to heaven to be with God or if they chose, they will cease to exist. I believe all people have this choice. Salvation is a journey not an event. It is your walk thorugh life and your interaction with God with God that counts. That is my belief.

    By the definition of what a gay is I am. I really am turned on by gay men not women. But I am married and had at one time some straight tendencies. Those are't very strong now. I am definitely turned to attraction to other males.

    My wife and I have a good marriage. Sex doesn't have to be part of a marriage. Get real. Most mariages end with one spouse being a nursemaid for the other dying spouse until finally death comes and takes them away, My wife wanted out of the sex part several years ago. I complied tnough not excitedly.

    My wife and I will stay married as long as she wants it to. I will remian faithful to her and not get into sexual relationships with other men as long as we are married. The subject of me being gay has never come up. I made my vows to her and will honor them.

    I am a retired teacher, disabled. I haven't talked much about that. I was in an accident in which the spinal cord was heavily damaged. Damaged to the point that I had initial total paralysis which got much better after surgery.

    The MRI still shows that I am an invalid. The doctors are amazed that I can walk. All body systems have been affected. I am somewhat feeble, don't have the strength to teach a full day on a daily basis, require a lot of rest, and have to take way too much medicene. Yet without medication I can't functon at all and would be having seizures and might not do even simple tasks.

    I can walk short distances. I can do hardly any physical work for any length of time. I have zero stamina. There are people in their 70's and 80's who have more stamina than I have.

    I love people. I love people too much. I am easily offended when I know someone just doesn't like me. Especially if they show it.

    I admire people like Dr. Rock who will debate you on an even table. We don't agree on some issues but we respect each other as a person and our right to make those value choices on our own. I point him out to show that I don't have to agree with everything you say or believe. There are even some Republicans I admire. Pecker, you are one of them. I picked out two people that I could easily have a spitspat if I were a person who had to only like people who agree with me.

    I greatly admire many people on this site. I wouldn't hurt someone on purpose for anything. There is no way I could ever say thank you to so many wonderful people here. Jana, Jacinto, Ashlar, Herble, FootLongTeen, Pappy, Pecker, Jeep, Nixxie, Jonb, TX and here is where I get into trouble. There are some whose avatar I can see in my mind, but I can't get a name to come up with it. And I know I have left some out. I had to go back and add some later as it is.
    There is one in particular. I remember you are male and 51. I can see you in your jock strap. I know who came from a family full of fundie preachers, but that name is gone. That is something else I deal with. I have problems with names now. Can't remmber them.

    I know I tend to get wordy sometimes. I don't mind being corrected when I am wrong. It doesn't bother me to differ with someone on a topic if they are truly debating the issue and not not showing judgemetal actions about me as a person. The worst is being accused falsely.

    My principal said that the thing that I did that hurt me the most was that I loved the students too much for my own good and I took their failures too personally. I ask if that was bad and she said Oh no. it is great for the students that you care about them. It is you that suffers when they fail. Sometimes you care about them more then they care about themselves.

    I just wanted to set the record straigtht. There is a lot about me that LPSG don't know. I try to accent the positives in my life here.

    But I am not doing very well recently. I have had new health problems surface. I have had my ability to do things that I can do questioned.

    I have just about had my full of it listening to: the organ is too loud; couldn't hear the organ; love the trumpet; I had that trumpet sound stop you use; music too lively; music was a dirge; you are absolutely the finest organist and pianist in the state; there is some concern about your ability to play in the future with your health problems, you might not be able to play much longer; no one questions your ability to play; Prelude was too long; prelude was too short;I think that piece should have been played on the piano; it is not a organ piece; I dont like the organ in church; I dont' like the piano in church; why can't we play both at the same time; why do we have to use both instruements on some pieces; I don't like the way he comes into the sanctuary; why does he have to walk that way; why does he have to put the music up in front of him; it is distracting when he moves the hymnal and gets another book to play out of; why does he have to turn pages for; the music was too loud for a funeral. I don't like bappipes in church; please play the bagpipes they are so great; couldn't hear the chimes this Sunday; why do you always play the chimes so loud; why does he have to hold onto the rail when he walks up the steps; I don't like it when the choir sings to those CD's; I don't like it when he plays the organ for the choir that is what the CD's are for; is he still able to play for church, I mean, I have never heard him make a mistake and no one plays better anywhere in the state, but is he still able to do it; Why are all these other churches trying to take away our musician; He isn't going to leave is he; I sure hope not, we won't be able to replace him; we need a new choir director; and so on and so on.

    This is what I put up with every week, every week for inconsiderate people who when church time rolls around should stay home. They aren't in church to worship, they are there to bitch.

    LPSG has been my haven away from all of that. I believe in God in spite of what some people who go to church do. Hint: My wife draws a salary for her work in the church. If we weren't receving any money, there would be no complaints. Been playing for church now for some 45 years. Just get on the payroll as see what happens. It is no wonder that some give up on organized religion. But the Bible says they will always be those who are false in the church so I put up with it.

    .I decided it was time to let you know a little about me. You see, I never believed in miracles until I was flat on my back dying and had an expeience with God. It changed me mind quickly. I don't understand them. I sure as hell don't deserve getting one. But I did. The doctors said there was no medical explanation for my recovery. I don't believe in those staged miracles at all. I realize that that real miracles are there all the time, we just don't see them. God never intended for his work to be that obvious. Everyone receives some blessing at some time in their life, either here or in the life herafter. I truly believe that

    And if someone had told me the day before it happened that I would be writing or saying this I would have said not before a rainstorm on the Sahara desert.

    Thanks for the support you guys have given me while I have been here. You are wonderful people. Freddie, which of course is not my real name, has enjoyed being here and being his innerself or alterego, or whatever it is you want to call it.

    May God richly bless all of you.

    Love you all,

    Freddie
     
  2. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    83,922
    Likes Received:
    34
    Freddie, I'm proud to call you 'brother.'
     
  3. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2002
    Messages:
    5,402
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Louisiana
    Freddie, I am indeed sorry to read about your new health problems. You will have the prayers of many here, and well-wishing from others. Know that you are considered a valuable member of this board.
     
  4. Imported

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2000
    Messages:
    56,713
    Likes Received:
    55
    NelsonMuntz84: Freddie, I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say you are a highly liked and respected member of the forum, and I certain dont think their is anyone on here who doesn't like you, sometimes with it being text we see on online, we can sometimes think people have taken things another way than they really have.

    In the same way I dont think people's sexuality is up for debate in the sense of people are what they are, neither is your faith and belief in God. What you believe is a personal conviction that only you can be true too.

    You obviously live your life by loving your fellow man, if more of us did the world would be a much better place, so dont feel you need to jusify or explain who you are, being yourself is enough.
     
  5. oldbodybuilder2004

    oldbodybuilder2004 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2004
    Messages:
    239
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles , CA area
    Me again:

    If you don't think this is God working in your life then I will thiow in the towel.I have read your pronouncement twice and I come away with the feeling you are not sure what is responsible for your miraclous recovery. Wake up man and smell the roses and Praise God.
    That is All
     
  6. KinkGuy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2004
    Messages:
    2,976
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    southwest US
    Freddie,
    I'm the guy in the jockstrap. Your words touched me in ways I can't possibly begin to define. So I won't even try.

    But I will tell you that I admire and honor your mind, your heart, your beliefs and amazing spirit. Much love to you.

    Thank you.
     
  7. Ineligible

    Ineligible Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2004
    Messages:
    438
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    What a great man! And not least with continuing to play the organ (and well) when so many people bitch. That's not a church that is working well, and the minister needs to give some strong sermons, I think.

    You obviously have to deal with a lot of daily frustrations, and your kindness here shines the more strongly because of it.
     
  8. Altairion

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2005
    Messages:
    1,607
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Freddie, it has been good to have you here on the boards and I am happy for you that your religious beliefs are so strong. It has been an honor to have a person of your experience and understanding here on the boards.

    - Alt
     
  9. madame_zora

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2004
    Messages:
    10,252
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Ohio
    Freddie, Your assets here can scarcely be described. You have become an lpsg mvp in very little time as your genuine love for humanity shows through in everything you write. It was not necessary for you to expose so much of yourself and your life, but letting us know you better just makes me love you more, my friend.

    No one here could ever question your faith in God, and I wholeheartedly appreciate the length you went to in order to describe your beliefs. Playing for the ungrateful is a worthy undertaking, I would continue as long as your health allows. It is clear that you do this in reverence to God- anyone can give what is easy to give. It is more holy when the gift comes at a price, at least that's how I feel.

    As we open up more, each in our own way and time, we become the kind of family that is a working unit in this universal online community. The words you share here are read by thousands who are seeking, so keep being your genuine, beautiful self. We need all the Freddie we can get! Jana
     
  10. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2003
    Messages:
    28,018
    Likes Received:
    729
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    the pain behind your eyes
    Freddie, your tale is a complex one, yet full of inspiration. You had the power to believe in yourself more than anyone, and you overcame adversity with regards to your paralysis.

    Don't give up there, bro, you have a strong faith in God, you know?
     
  11. Freddie53

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2004
    Messages:
    7,285
    Likes Received:
    61
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The South, USA
    I am overwhelmed by the love and kind words that I have received here. I realize now that my real work for God may be here. I impact a lot more people here then I do in our small church. More youth can be talked to here as well. And I don't have to worry about what the church fathers might say. Sex rules are cultural in nature. There really is only one Biblical rule that is standard and that is marriage vows. AS long as you are maried it is a covenent between you, God and your spouse. No sexual activity without the approval of your spouse. Actually that is what the Bible says. Adultery is sex outside of marriage without the approval of your spouse.

    Though I would throw that tidbit in.

    My pm fills up fast. It only holds 10 messages. So feel free to use either e-mail addres the one given or the one I use the most.

    If I can help a youth with any problem, please let me know. If I don't know, I can find out. And I will.

    As Jana said I told more than I had to tell about myself. But then maybe I can help someone who has severe health problems. In spite of it all, I floated in a canoe on a mountain river this summer. My son rode in the back and did all the work. People were turning over right and left. We never came close. My doctor said to have a hell of a good time. I did. An 8 mile journey.

    I left out Kink Guy, and Naughty in my list. I know I left out others as well. And I have a new friend out of all of this. An organist. I needed that.

    Thanks for being my family. Thanks for a place to tell anything I want to tell and not have to guard what I say. Spout forth official doctrine that I question and so forth. And this is the most intelligent forum I have ever seen. And such a mix of peole. I love you all.

    Freddie
     
    #11 Freddie53, Mar 18, 2005
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 21, 2010
  12. txquis

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2003
    Messages:
    1,831
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    [Email address removed at user's request]
     
    #12 txquis, Mar 18, 2005
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 21, 2010
  13. txquis

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2003
    Messages:
    1,831
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Thanks for your kind and honest words, Freddie. :)
    LPSG means a lot to all of us regular posters, in fact, i check it as often than my regular email now.

    Many of us here have been through a lot...not the same things, but difficult and life challenging type things. The one thing you will find from most of us is concern and understanding.

    All good love and vibes back to you.
     
  14. hung

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2004
    Messages:
    2,766
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    51
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    Freddie 53: I appreciate your informational and also inspirational message. I grew up in a rather large family and I keep in touch via many phone calls and/or E-Mails with five siblings in a very different part of the U. S. A.

    My little Brother recently sent me this on a Sunday Afternoon:

    Have a restful Sunday and remember as our current Minister would say, we don't go to Church to make God happy, we go to harvest his blessings, gifts of salvation, we don't have much to offer him!

    I think that the above sentence certainly states it all very well. None of us here have much to offer him. As far as the bitchers in your local Church, please be aware that every Congregation has them.

    You know your purpose in life, just as I know mine. Those who bitch have not yet found themselves and would rather crawl up someone else's posterior.

    Everyone here will agree, The Bitchers Need to get a Life!!!

    Those who are confident and competent will never try to degrade their fellow people kind. They who bitch are looking to transfer their own guilt and dis-satisfaction with themselves unto someone else.

    I can think of Believers/Nonbelievers/Republicans / Democrats who fit into the above situation.
     
  15. jeepwranglerboi

    jeepwranglerboi New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2004
    Messages:
    848
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Manhattan
    Freddie, I'm just gonna echo what everyone else has said. You are a truly beautiful soul and you mean so much to so many people here. Your insight and wisdom is always appreciated and I am honoured to call you a friend. Thank you Freddie.

    xoxo :hug:
     
  16. SomeGuyOverThere

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2004
    Messages:
    1,496
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    I for one found your post interesting, touching, funny and it made me cry too!

    I have huge respect for your informative and well thought out posts, ad I think you are one of the cornerstnes of this community!
     
  17. Freddie53

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2004
    Messages:
    7,285
    Likes Received:
    61
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The South, USA
    Thanks so much for what you said. I named people who meant so much to me and said I knew that I would leave some out. Well you are one of them. Also Yaofim, Ziggity, Lap Dog, and Kiahra. And I am sorry I have mispelled those names. I should have gottne the spelling before I started posting. And I don't know how to get from here to whre I would have to go to get the correct spelings. I would rather have my named mispelled then to be looked over. I hope you guys feel the same way. I really miss Thantanos. I hope he comes back soon.

    As I think of others I will post the names. You guys mean so much to me. You are a special family. I can really be myself here. I feel like the real me is out and about. Thanks so much to everyone.

    I never thought about what I write as being the cornerstone of anything, but I sure do appreciate the compliment.

    Much love,

    Freddie




     
  18. yaoifun

    yaoifun New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2005
    Messages:
    783
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northeastern US
    You know we all love and appreciate you too Freddie! I hope you feel better and no more complications arise from your condition *comfort hug* I hope everything goes well for you! We all think that!
     
  19. Imported

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2000
    Messages:
    56,713
    Likes Received:
    55
    hung_big: Freddie...you and I both know how I feel about you...we've talked in private. I will just resound what everyone else has said about you:

    You are a kind, caring, curtious, intelligent and - above all - a loving person. You are also a valued member of this forum, with an opinion held in high esteem. I can safely say that every decent person on this forum cares, loves and appreciates you as a person and as a posting member.

    Much Love and Hugs (from me and everyone else),

    Chris
     
  20. Freddie53

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2004
    Messages:
    7,285
    Likes Received:
    61
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The South, USA
    Chris,

    Thanks, You are a very bright, creative young man who can communicate far above a normal 15 year old. You are witty at times, funny, and a swell guy. As a 53 year old man, I would be very proud to call you my son.

    You are forgiving, accept forgivness and have a strong sense of what you percieve is right and wrong. That is called character.

    Contact me anytime pm or e-mail if I can every help you in any way.

    Big Hugs
    I love you

    Freddie
     
Draft saved Draft deleted