Who Pays For A Vacation?

Scarletbegonia

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Did They (subject) decide to do this themselves, set the plan, and invite their partner?
Did the pair come up with the idea?
Is there an economic disparity between them (and if so how does the pair handle it?)

Is a portion covered by perks or miles?
Is it necessarily “expensive” or a simple weekend get away?

I floated the idea of getting out of town one Wednesday night. More a measure of interest.
He had something he wanted to do, but we could not reserve a campsite.
So we found an alternative (and it definitely qualified as adventure).
When we were checking in, I had my CC out, but he took advantage of his height and handed his first.
I was grateful in word and deed.
Plus I picked up groceries that equaled the stay.

We are going to a wedding of one of his family members. Something he already planned and financed before we met. He wants to use it as a meet the family opportunity for me.
The only extra expense was a one way airplane ticket home. He is taking a car to a family member to go out.
He covered the ticket. I will endeavor to cover half the meals.
I’ve mentioned before that we split duties and costs in a Marxist way, each according to need and ability.
 
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Sagittarius84

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As a man, I'd have to approach this question a few different ways, because what's objectively "right" and what subjectively "should" happen are determinant upon so many factors prior to the case.
Realistically, independent of either, what probably will happen is the man will be expected to pay for all or most of the trip. Objectively the trip cost should be split evenly, factoring in for economic disparity and the like.
Subjectively, as a man there is a certain satisfaction from being able to cover all costs, as I would imagine many women have when a man opts to do so.
Pick your romantic partner carefully. Understand the women you may prefer in looks and personality may not be predisposed to having to utilize their funds in such a manner. That perhaps what you value in a woman needs to change to open yourself up to others who may be of that mindset, and that you may have to be willing to examine yourself and see if this new population of women is one you even appeal to.
 

Sagittarius84

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Translation:
If she’s hot, she’ll expect YOU to pay. If she’s not, it’s negotiable.
Not necessarily she can be hot and dominant and Wally would have to learn how to appeal to that. She could be average and expect to be a sugar baby as well. Looks is just one layer of this.
 

Gj816

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I'd say it depends on a few things. One, if the man invites the woman to accompany him and they are intimate I'd say he should probably pay.
Two, if they are just platonic friends then I'd say it's Dutch treat. They date but aren't intimate with each other.
Finally, if they're really into each other and have been dating awhile they would probably have a good enough relationship that they'd be splitting the cost like a committed couple.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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When we go somewhere to vacation, I pay. When we go out to eat, I pay.

Our financial situation has changed a bit in recent months and he has more to contribute to these kinds of things now but he's always had bills that have nothing to do with our household and they have to be paid so I don't ask him for a penny. When he has money to give me he does, but 9 times out of 10 if we do something to treat ourselves *I* pay for both of us and it's absolutely fine that way.

There's no way I'd miss out on experiences with him because he doesn't have the money to pay for me. I can always make more money. I can't always make more memories with the love of my life.
 

wallyj84

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When we go somewhere to vacation, I pay. When we go out to eat, I pay.

Our financial situation has changed a bit in recent months and he has more to contribute to these kinds of things now but he's always had bills that have nothing to do with our household and they have to be paid so I don't ask him for a penny. When he has money to give me he does, but 9 times out of 10 if we do something to treat ourselves *I* pay for both of us and it's absolutely fine that way.

There's no way I'd miss out on experiences with him because he doesn't have the money to pay for me. I can always make more money. I can't always make more memories with the love of my life.

I'll never understand your view of relationships.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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I'll never understand your view of relationships.

I wish you could.

What I have with my person is rare. I know it. If it wasn't the world might be a better place.

As much as the world sucks, I can hold him and know that he's holding me back. Why would I trade that in for someone who can pay for shit I don't need? What I need is a companion. And that's what I have.

I'm a lucky fucker.
 

wallyj84

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I wish you could.

What I have with my person is rare. I know it. If it wasn't the world might be a better place.

As much as the world sucks, I can hold him and know that he's holding me back. Why would I trade that in for someone who can pay for shit I don't need? What I need is a companion. And that's what I have.

I'm a lucky fucker.

Are you from a small town?
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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It's not the point of the thread anyway.

I hope... well... I hope you can appreciate my perspective.

Everyone's different, and relationships aren't something there's a rule book for.

That's why I said *might* about if more people had what we do. Maybe the world would be better. Maybe it would be boring. I dunno. I'm just lucky that I'm happy and that my relationship works for me and my partner.

If you think the way we do things is weird, or even stupid I'm comfortable with it. Because what you think doesn't impact how we live our lives together. What I think about you doesn't make a difference for you either, I assume. So, it's all good.
 

EllieP

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Well, this question is aimed squarely at me, because I've done it before.

Many, many moons ago before I remarried I tried a LDR with a boyfriend, almost my fiancé, who had taken a job out of state. We decided we would both fly and meet each other for a brief vacation in the mountains. I paid my way, he paid his. We split the bill for the B&B. We also alternated who paid for meals.

This was our swan song. We knew the relationship would not survive because our careers kept us states apart. But it was a good way to say goodbye. And equitable.

Believe it or not, we're still very close friends, and I see him when he comes to Orlando on business. And sometimes we buy him dinner, and other times he treats us.