who wants sex more husband or wife?

CALAMBO

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seems i have to go after sex with wife all the time???...who in your relationship ask for sex more??...i just want to be attacked sometimes rather than be the aggressor...been married for 30 yrs...would like to be reciever sometimes...am i wrong..or is it the mans job to want sex first....
 

Kalika

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i guess its the both of us, whenever he starts cosying up to me its sex he wants with me i can just want a few snogs or maybe to give him oral etc. So probably the attempts for full sex would be mainly him
 

got_lost

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Surely it's up to the individual but with more guys here I suspect the answer will be a resounding 'the husband'.

For me, in my marriage it's 'the wife' by a long way!
 

Hockeytiger

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Have you let her know this?

Many women feel that to initiate sex would be "unwomanly", only sluts do that. Also, many women feel that to do so might infringe on the man"s territory. He's supposed to be the dominant one. There certainly is some truth in the second explanation. Some men would find such an act to be threatening to their "status". Personally, I think that is nonsense. If a man is threaten by that, then he ain't much of a man.

I'd suggest you talk to her about that. You may find that she may want to be a little more assertive sexually.

Historically, between my wife and I, I initiated sex nearly all of the time, but there were exceptions. However, since the birth of our firstborn, she has been much, much more assertive, even to the point of randomly coming up to me, undoing my pants, and blowing me. At first, it really caught me off guard. But it has become a fairly routine thing for us. And she isn't really interested in any reciprocation when she does it. (I find that a little frustrating.)
 

CALAMBO

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dear hockytiger....lucky you...and yes i have communitcated this with her...no luck yet...i guess it just is not in her make-up to be the aggressor...after a few days she knows i will give in and attack...
 

voidout

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:shrug: i've never been married, and i wouldn't know, but i suppose it would depend on who it is you married to.
 

whatireallywant

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I guess it depends on the person.

Yep!

I have the higher sex drive usually. I'd have sex twice a day, for her once in a day is enough.

Sounds like you both have high sex drives, though! I've never been married, but in my longest term relationship, I had the MUCH higher sex drive, except when I was seriously ill in 2003, where our sex drives were equally non-existent.

Have you let her know this?

Many women feel that to initiate sex would be "unwomanly", only sluts do that. Also, many women feel that to do so might infringe on the man"s territory. He's supposed to be the dominant one. There certainly is some truth in the second explanation. Some men would find such an act to be threatening to their "status". Personally, I think that is nonsense. If a man is threaten by that, then he ain't much of a man.

I'd suggest you talk to her about that. You may find that she may want to be a little more assertive sexually.

Historically, between my wife and I, I initiated sex nearly all of the time, but there were exceptions. However, since the birth of our firstborn, she has been much, much more assertive, even to the point of randomly coming up to me, undoing my pants, and blowing me. At first, it really caught me off guard. But it has become a fairly routine thing for us. And she isn't really interested in any reciprocation when she does it. (I find that a little frustrating.)

I've initiated sex many times! But I've done all kinds of other "unwomanly" things as well. :biggrin1:

:shrug: i've never been married, and i wouldn't know, but i suppose it would depend on who it is you married to.

Yep... One of the reasons I couldn't marry the guy I had the longest term relationship with is that our sex drives are so mismatched. I do understand though... He has medical problems that resulted in zero physical sex drive (although he still wants it psychologically, and we are still very good friends). I have had so little sex through the years though, which can be frustrating for someone with a libido like I have! I have the combination of being shy, and having mostly friends and dating guys with chronic health problems (and in the case of the guys I dated, that interfered with the sex...). But it isn't just the guys I dated who had chronic health problems. Most of my platonic friends have also had chronic health problems. I think it's partly because my parents also both had chronic health problems and so did pretty much all their friends as well!

Depends whose wife you're with.

Ha Ha!! :biggrin1: