Who's trying to get who off?
- Thread starter Woodland
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Drifterwood
Superior Member
Very interesting observation ML.
I think that women who are in tune with their sexuality always have been. I remember being with GFs a long time ago who were not experienced, but just naturally at ease with expressing themselves sexually.
Many women aren't, so I can see in the past that sex became something of a chore when men didn't know much either. But then came along books like the Joy of Sex cocktailed with women's liberation and the symbol of the orgasm. Modern men had to learn which buttons to press, so maybe more women started having orgasms but I am not sure that they were really liberated sexually, rather we have the expectation that you refer to.
An extreme which I have experienced a few times (not a lot in the wider picture) is a few women who know what they like, they take it and really don't give a second thought to the guy. Hence my comments on grinding.
Men and women can be selfish lovers. Nothing wildly controversial in that.
Drifterwood
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Not_Punny
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My mom was a product of the sixties/seventies sex revolution, and the book, "The Hite Report" was so much her bible that she eventually gave it to me. 
For hundreds of years (maybe more), women were under the burden of a terrible idea: that the only "real" orgasm was a "vaginal" one. And as masturbation was only recently socially acceptable, this made women a slave to a penis that may or may not ever get them off. (According to some statistics, approximately 70% of women can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation.)
Even worse, until the last century, women who "enjoyed" sex were looked upon as sluts and whores.
Is it any wonder that women are only recently (in the last several decades) waking up sexually, with "permission" to explore what does or doesn't get them off?
So I disagree with some of the comments in this thread -- I don't think we should be too hard on a gender that has been stifled sexually.
Long live the sexual revolution!
For hundreds of years (maybe more), women were under the burden of a terrible idea: that the only "real" orgasm was a "vaginal" one. And as masturbation was only recently socially acceptable, this made women a slave to a penis that may or may not ever get them off. (According to some statistics, approximately 70% of women can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation.)
Even worse, until the last century, women who "enjoyed" sex were looked upon as sluts and whores.
Is it any wonder that women are only recently (in the last several decades) waking up sexually, with "permission" to explore what does or doesn't get them off?
So I disagree with some of the comments in this thread -- I don't think we should be too hard on a gender that has been stifled sexually.
Long live the sexual revolution!
B_subgirrl
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For me, it's about the entire experience, not the orgasms.
It's a given that I will orgasm many times. All but one of the men I've been with have orgasmed every time we fucked. So no one really needs to be TRYING to get anyone off. In my sexual experiences, it's gonna happen anyway, so why bother with the trying part. Just enjoy.
This is how my FB fucks though. The more orgasms he can encourage from me, the happier he is. He is very much into competitive fucking.
It's a given that I will orgasm many times. All but one of the men I've been with have orgasmed every time we fucked. So no one really needs to be TRYING to get anyone off. In my sexual experiences, it's gonna happen anyway, so why bother with the trying part. Just enjoy.
This is how my FB fucks though. The more orgasms he can encourage from me, the happier he is. He is very much into competitive fucking.
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Any man who won't let himself get off before I do will be going home with blue balls.
I never worry about orgasms in the bedroom. I like the sex to flow naturally and let the vibe take us where it will.
Not all sessions are created equal.
Not all sessions are created equal.
The Question Answer'd, from William Blake's notebook 1793.
What is it men in women do require?
The lineaments of Gratified Desire.
What is it women do in men require?
The lineaments of Gratified Desire.
(lineaments is an old-fashioned word meaning the visible, physical signs in the body and face.)
What is it men in women do require?
The lineaments of Gratified Desire.
What is it women do in men require?
The lineaments of Gratified Desire.
(lineaments is an old-fashioned word meaning the visible, physical signs in the body and face.)
Drifterwood
Superior Member
Absofuckinglutely.
I can't imagine that men were really happy the way things were. Maybe the religious fruit cakes who instigated this nonsense in the West, but then they would wank off and thrash themselves or interfere with children. People in other cultures have always been encouraged to have a full expressive sexlife.
i don't agree.My mom was a product of the sixties/seventies sex revolution, and the book, "The Hite Report" was so much her bible that she eventually gave it to me.
For hundreds of years (maybe more), women were under the burden of a terrible idea: that the only "real" orgasm was a "vaginal" one. And as masturbation was only recently socially acceptable, this made women a slave to a penis that may or may not ever get them off. (According to some statistics, approximately 70% of women can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation.)
Even worse, until the last century, women who "enjoyed" sex were looked upon as sluts and whores.
Is it any wonder that women are only recently (in the last several decades) waking up sexually, with "permission" to explore what does or doesn't get them off?
So I disagree with some of the comments in this thread -- I don't think we should be too hard on a gender that has been stifled sexually.
Long live the sexual revolution!
my selfish behaviour cannot be excused by the suffering of my grandmother. and a new set of socially imposed sexual roles is not an escape from living under socially imposed sexual roles.
plus this new set doesn't really liberate women. it puts new pressure to perform on women. we are expected to respond in set ways, enjoy set things.
and the pressure on men to create multiples or self judge as a sexual failure? grossly unfair!
i wish we could get away from this kind of burden for both sexes.
find out what you like, find a sexually compatible partner (or ten) to do it with, enjoy sex. it sounds so simple in theory... if expectation could only but out, cease all the shoulds and the set roles.
let receivers find givers,
let givers find receivers,
let 50/50 fuckers find 50/50 fuckers.
regardless of gender.
regardless of grandma's sex life.
RawDog
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Don't get me wrong, sex *is* more about the journey rather than the destination, but for me the journey needs to wet, wild, bumpy and loud.
Very loud.
I like the word "encourage"! I've always known I don't give my partner orgasms, nor do I let her orgasm. Encourage is an excellent word. Reminds me of a quote I used to have in my sig:
"It's not about you waiting to be given an orgasm, it's about you actually mentally taking the orgasm. Nobody gives anybody an orgasm. We make it safe for our partner's libido to come out and play and find expression and find pleasure. So, the best sex partner action is a generous offering of support and pleasure."
- Nina Hartley's Guide to Multiple Orgasms.
If neither you nor I care to cum while having sex, when do we know the sex is over? Hmm, come to think of it, how do multi-orgasmic lesbians know when the sex is over?
If MrsR ever divorces me, care to be my future ex-wife? It'll be a short tragic relationship, but at least one of us will die smiling. :biggrin1:
Very loud.
I like the word "encourage"! I've always known I don't give my partner orgasms, nor do I let her orgasm. Encourage is an excellent word. Reminds me of a quote I used to have in my sig:
"It's not about you waiting to be given an orgasm, it's about you actually mentally taking the orgasm. Nobody gives anybody an orgasm. We make it safe for our partner's libido to come out and play and find expression and find pleasure. So, the best sex partner action is a generous offering of support and pleasure."
- Nina Hartley's Guide to Multiple Orgasms.
If neither you nor I care to cum while having sex, when do we know the sex is over? Hmm, come to think of it, how do multi-orgasmic lesbians know when the sex is over?
If MrsR ever divorces me, care to be my future ex-wife? It'll be a short tragic relationship, but at least one of us will die smiling. :biggrin1:
Coming from a mature woman (over 45) and having lived life...a real man's goal is to pleasure his woman, any way he can. To them, foreplay and knowing his woman's anatomy and physiology are important sexual themes and explorations; which, by the way, he enjoys. Those two subjects should be required of all students in high-school and college, not only requirements for medical personnel. LOL.
This is why most of the younger men who have sexual experiences with older, mature women will attempt to be the best they can be: competition is keen. What younger man wants to be known that he can't please an older, mature woman who perhaps has been around the block a few times -- and I don't mean, sexually, either?
This is not to say an older man doesn't know how to please a woman, but I enjoy and only date younger, white men because they learned from the sexual revolution, and they are aware that many, many men are competiting for the same woman.
It is great when both partners can cum at the same time. However, most men will wait until the woman cums first; then, he cums. Men men and women are multi-orgasmic (which can be tiring if you have to work the next day...this is why weekends and holidays are great fuck times).
Since I am retired, it will be the man who is exhausted; he has to go to work, but I can sleep my exhaustion off.
I agree, the ultimate goal should not necessarily be an orgasm but the experience that leads up to that experience: the heightened expression of a sensuous, intimate, mind-blowing experience...so, after the orgasm, what do you have?
This is why most of the younger men who have sexual experiences with older, mature women will attempt to be the best they can be: competition is keen. What younger man wants to be known that he can't please an older, mature woman who perhaps has been around the block a few times -- and I don't mean, sexually, either?
This is not to say an older man doesn't know how to please a woman, but I enjoy and only date younger, white men because they learned from the sexual revolution, and they are aware that many, many men are competiting for the same woman.
It is great when both partners can cum at the same time. However, most men will wait until the woman cums first; then, he cums. Men men and women are multi-orgasmic (which can be tiring if you have to work the next day...this is why weekends and holidays are great fuck times).
Since I am retired, it will be the man who is exhausted; he has to go to work, but I can sleep my exhaustion off.
I agree, the ultimate goal should not necessarily be an orgasm but the experience that leads up to that experience: the heightened expression of a sensuous, intimate, mind-blowing experience...so, after the orgasm, what do you have?
utter horse shit.
not all women want to be pleasured.
not all men enjoy pleasuring.
as long as his sexual tastes are no imposed upon the unwilling, what a man gets up to in the bedroom does not make him any more or less of a real man.
just because that makes him the right man for you, doesn't make him the right man for everyone.
your personal tastes are not universal truth.
I agree...and my choice wasn't meant for everyone in the world. However, too many real men utter that they want to please a woman and be pleased. Fortunately, I haven't met men who didn't want to do either...as I'm sure they exist: personal reasons, medical reasons, etc.
