Why all the different phone numbers?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by kewlkid75, Nov 15, 2010.

  1. kewlkid75

    kewlkid75 Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
    Messages:
    474
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    200
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Tallahassee, Florida
    Hey all.
    Here's my story. I have been seeing this guy now for 2 months. Recently keeping in contact with him is becoming bothersome. I call him and no answer and when he calls me, he always calls me from a different phone numbers. So today I asked him . Why all the new phone numbers. Why can't you keep the same number. He never gives me a straight answer. I am not a jealous guy, but he unfortunately he has a history of screwing around[stupidly I took him back 2nd time]. I am going to break up with him if he won't come clean about all the different numbers and all the guys he is messing with. I need your advice. Do you think i am doing the right thing? In my heart i feel right.

    I know he is going to sob about it, but i am standing my ground.
     
  2. curioustitan

    curioustitan Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2010
    Messages:
    548
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Cape Town
    (Sigh) Sadly, the truth is that a leopard doesn't really change its spots.
    I honestly believe that people can change...but more often than not either don't or choose not to.
    You say he has a history of screwing around and that you've taken him back a second time. While i'd love to say give him another chance in the spirit of 'love' and possibly a relationship, it does sound a lot like "more of the same".
    To play Devils' advocate, whatever happened to 'innocent until proven guilty?' Maybe this time it is sincerely is a case of him having terrible luck with mobile phones. Perhaps you have to be a bit more vocal with regards to setting boundaries if this is a serious relationship and one that you want to make work. But try to discuss it first, before you go in guns blazing and - hard as it might be - give him the benefit of the doubt.
    That's all i got... and a lot of sympathy for your situation.
     
  3. killerb

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2007
    Messages:
    2,102
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    47
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    Verified:
    Photo
    I think you already know the answer to this one...

    You deserve honesty & respect...if you're not getting it, you know what to do.
     
  4. RideRocket

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Messages:
    3,247
    Likes Received:
    10
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Lost in the Wild
    Is it really worth the drama and heartache? Many people say, "take the good with the bad". Why not "take the good with the good?" There's plenty of fish in the sea and even though it might take some time to find the right one, it's worth it.
     
  5. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2005
    Messages:
    14,610
    Likes Received:
    5
    Problem is, there are several cases, and if it's simply terrible luck with phones, the guy should have no problem giving a clear and simple explanation. But it seems he does.

    No harm in this. It's good advice.

    You're a sweet one, titan.
    ;-)

    I think kewlkid should have a full discussion, as open as possible. But he should be prepared to move ahead on the plan he seems to instinctively know is necessary ... finding a new guy with whom the trust issue won't always be on the front burner.
     
  6. nudeyorker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2006
    Messages:
    42,918
    Likes Received:
    37
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC/Honolulu
    I'm glad I was a philandering Don Juan before the days of caller ID. Everyone was happier then.
    I'm sorry you had to go through this... do the right thing for yourself and find a nice guy with a constant phone number.
     
    #6 nudeyorker, Nov 15, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2010
  7. Bbucko

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2006
    Messages:
    7,413
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    58
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sunny SoFla
    Multiple phones and/or numbers usually means that he's covering his tracks. He may be involved in another relationship or he might be involved with drugs.

    Frankly, my first though on reading the OP was drugs. I was involved for six months with someone whom I thought I knew well (at least as well as anyone can be known in six months of daily contact). There were definitely missing pieces of the puzzle, some of which I took for his need for privacy, some I ignored through willful blindness, but some were, in retrospect, blindingly obvious indications that he chose to be less than honest with me despite strenuous objections to the contrary.

    Following weeks of exceptionally strange behavior (he wouldn't leave my apartment), he voluntarily admitted himself to a psych ward and I used my copy of his house key to do a full investigation. What I found staggered even me, including obvious evidence of drug use and rampant infidelity. I had been had, completely had.

    Words cannot express the anger I felt at being so thoroughly betrayed, and my rage lasted for months. And even though I've really let it all go now (it's been over four years), on the rare event when I see him out, part of wants to smash his face in. No one with something to hide from you is worthy of your trust.
     
  8. kewlkid75

    kewlkid75 Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
    Messages:
    474
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    200
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Tallahassee, Florida
    Thanks for the advice ya'll.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted