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why am I such a nice guy?
- Thread starter yggdrasil
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because you're a goober. Been there myself many times so I feel your pain. Next time the opportunity presents itself, go for it.
You say you're a nice guy as if there's something wrong with it. Different men have different expectations of sex, maybe you're just happier having sex with someone you don't see as just a one night stand?
Being nice guy sucks, so from now on, i will be an asshole, women will probably like me alot more if im a dick. Seems to be how that all works lol.
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hypolimnas
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1. Stop thinking so much about what other people think
2. When the time is right to pounce I believe you will.
3. Don't listen to people who tell you have to be more confident, believe me, it will come from deep inside you when the time is right.
4. Just remember this is your life, and it is your birth right to lead a happy fulfilled life. Won't be long now! The world is your playground.
5. Just don't fuck the horse in the one horse town before you leave.
2. When the time is right to pounce I believe you will.
3. Don't listen to people who tell you have to be more confident, believe me, it will come from deep inside you when the time is right.
4. Just remember this is your life, and it is your birth right to lead a happy fulfilled life. Won't be long now! The world is your playground.
5. Just don't fuck the horse in the one horse town before you leave.
I had my ex tell me that he took advantage of me (not sexually) through out our whole relationship because i was to nice and he knew i'd always let him have his way, so he took it as him mission to get as much from me as possible, physically, emotioinally and financially.
And honestly, that pissed me off and i swore that id never be that nice again the the point of me beng the one that comes out badly..then i relised id rather come off badly then be a bitch and hate myself for being that way.
Dont feel badly or foolish for doing the right thing :wink:
And honestly, that pissed me off and i swore that id never be that nice again the the point of me beng the one that comes out badly..then i relised id rather come off badly then be a bitch and hate myself for being that way.
Dont feel badly or foolish for doing the right thing :wink:
He doesn't feel like he's doing the right thing. He said it himself, he is "too nice", and there is such a thing, and he feels badly about being this way and rightly so. There is nothing wrong with sex. Get that out of your head if you ever want to have any. Also get it out of your head that for a woman to have sex with a man she must be doing him some kind of favor. Women enjoy sex, too. There's no reason why they shouldn't be enjoying it with you as opposed to some other guy. It sounds like from your brief first post you were in a situation where you could have had sex, and that maybe there was even some kind of expectation of sex beforehand, and you simply didn't act on it. In this situation, the girl may have been feeling just as disappointed by the end of the night as you were, both of you too polite or too shy to just go for what you wanted. In this case, you ARE being too nice, and you SHOULD feel foolish.
dudepiston
Experimental Member
I'm a big proponent of 'instinct' too. I think if your 'gut' is telling you something "doesn't feel right" in a given possible sexual situation, then maybe it ISN'T right and you're right to follow that. It's not that you're "nice", you're just seeing "red flags." Right? Like the responder said, when it FEELS right, you'll be comfortable really going through with it.
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I agree with the above to an extent. You should only feel foolish or badly if you weren't being yourself (too nice). Acting like an asshole seems like the right way and may get you laid a lot, but is it who you really are?
As far as the other issues like "sex is bad" or "women only have sex as a favor or a reward"; I didn't see any of that in any of your postings, but I have dealt with the latter issue since my divorce 6 years ago. Regret is a real bitch, so either be yourself, or seek therapy.
It's not a matter of being "too nice" but rather being more assertive. You can be assertive without being an asshole. My bedroom is a no-asshole zone and I haven't exactly been celibate. I've taken the initiative myself every now and then but I prefer when men do it because they usually enjoy it and I don't have to guess what they want. Know why nice guys complain that no one notices them? Because they don't take the initiative and they leave it to the assholes. Nothing turns me on like a "nice" guy who knows what he wants and goes after it. Be that guy and you'll be much happier.
He shouldnt feel bad for doing the right thing, however.he should feel bad because he missed out on a fuck.
As for the parts about sex being bad and women think we are doing you a favour by have sex...well i have no idea where you got that
I couldnt think it any more opposite if i tried.Anyway, i still stand by my original remark that you (he) did the right thing by knocking the women back. If the situations had of been right im sure you would have gone for it, Hence..Something wasnt right and he was a nice guy and a gentlemen not to take advantge or exploite the women/situation whatever the case may have been
He shouldnt feel bad for doing the right thing, however.he should feel bad because he missed out on a fuck.
As for the parts about sex being bad and women think we are doing you a favour by have sex...well i have no idea where you got that
Anyway, i still stand by my original remark that you (he) did the right thing by knocking the women back. If the situations had of been right im sure you would have gone for it, Hence..Something wasnt right and he was a nice guy and a gentlemen not to take advantge or exploite the women/situation whatever the case may have been
In some cases there is a feeling that something isn't quite right, so I could see that. Then again, some guys just aren't ladies men or really that comfortable around or with women, which makes reading their subtle or even not-so-subtle signals tough. Some nice guys I suspect are very picky at heart, but don't want to admit it. I don't think every guy is really built for one night stands either, nor are they really ready for a relationship. I think you have to figure out what kind of a man you are and/or want to be, and then go from there. Playing it safe, all the time, rarely gets anyone anywhere though. Guys who wait for the woman to make the not-so-subtle first move, are guys who generally sit around dateless or sexless...believe me I know. I'd probably slap myself silly (as if I was the late James Brown) remembering all the great situations and moments I let slip away.
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