Why are bottoms against fucking vers dudes?

[Brodie888]

Unfortunately the term vers is more commonly taken by bottoms who occasionally top. Whereas most bottoms are looking for guys who are just tops or tops who occasionally bottom.

 

[find83]

As a bottom, I prefer vers tops. The ones I've had situation-ships were a blast, in and out the bedroom. Total tops I don't mind but guys who have NEVER bottomed are a no for me... but I digress.

So what is a total top in your definition?

 

[DSF140]

So what is a total top in your definition?

Something that I read before, more than once, and I think that @Kosmic is alluding to, is that all straight guys, and all "total tops", should be fucked good and hard at least once so that they would understand what the girl or bottom guy is going through and experiencing. When the top can actually empathize with what the bottom is experiencing, then it makes the top a fantastic fucker.

 

[622675]

Something that I read before, more than once, and I think that @Kosmic is alluding to, is that all straight guys, and all "total tops", should be fucked good and hard at least once so that they would understand what the girl or bottom guy is going through and experiencing. When the top can actually empathize with what the bottom is experiencing, then it makes the top a fantastic fucker.

Totally agree. Otherwise it is just a man – machine relationship that leaves much to be desired.

 

[Nudistpig]

This whole thing ignores the minority of men like me who are gay but don't like anal penetration sex. I don't get much out of/can't bottom and don't enjoy topping. Though admittedly it was only with one person so maybe my views can change but I don't get turned on thinking of topping someone nor getting fucked by them. Mostly oral and giving them pleasure. I get off on them getting off. (Which admittedly when i was able to bottom, even though it didn't feel that great, he was loving it so therefore I enjoyed the situation.)

OK but the thread is about men who like anal. If the thread was about foot fetish would you say you felt ignored? I'm confused what it is you want here. It took me 20 years to properly relax and enjoy anal as a bottom (lots of trauma and internalized shame) and fucking is not something you have to do but if I love or even really like a man who wants to be fucked I do it for his pleasure and thar gives me pleasure. I'm not telling you to change at all, just saying I did. And no, if I want anal sex I'm not considering those who do not.

 

[find83]

Something that I read before, more than once, and I think that @Kosmic is alluding to, is that all straight guys, and all "total tops", should be fucked good and hard at least once so that they would understand what the girl or bottom guy is going through and experiencing. When the top can actually empathize with what the bottom is experiencing, then it makes the top a fantastic fucker.

I've never bottomed and I haven't gotten any complaints. Yes that is one way to empathize with the person you are fucking but it's not the only way. This thread is funny how people make generalizations about different groups

 

[Nudistpig]

@find83 , I like how you like to live in a realistic world. As you point out, there are assholes of all sexual orientaions and positions, role playing, etc. People like you are really cool to hang out with and are the most sexually attractive of all.

Ding ding ding. That last sentence. My best hookups start with the words 'wanna play' and me or he saying 'yes' immediately and out the door on my way. The fact we both want sex fast with the other and act upon it quickly is almost always a guarantee of a good play partner. We sort it out nude.

 

[Nudistpig]

I've never bottomed and I haven't gotten any complaints. Yes that is one way to empathize with the person you are fucking but it's not the only way. This thread is funny how people make generalizations about different groups

Sure. But that's not what was said. No one said you were a bad top or that guys don't enjoy you. What was said is that you cannot possibly understand what it's like to be penetrated because you haven't. The experience gives perspective that cannot be acquired in other ways, and the empathy it can generate is different and unique. You're not all things to all men. Neither am I. That's 100% cool and O.K. Be open to the idea that others have knowledge that is different and useful even if you yourself don't choose to explore.

On that note total bottoms should have to work to please a top who likes anal to see the work that those men put in.

 

[find83]

Sure. But that's not what was said. No one said you were a bad top or that guys don't enjoy you. What was said is that you cannot possibly understand what it's like to be penetrated because you haven't. The experience gives perspective that cannot be acquired in other ways, and the empathy it can generate is different and unique. You're not all things to all men. Neither am I. That's 100% cool and O.K. Be open to the idea that others have knowledge that is different and useful even if you yourself don't choose to explore.

On that note total bottoms should have to work to please a top who likes anal to see the work that those men put in.

Dude fist of all I know it was not a personal comment towards me and my ego ins't wounded Kosmic said

guys who have NEVER bottomed are a no for me... but I digress.

which implies he finds them bad tops I'm just saying guys who never bottom don't necessarily have to be bad tops and I use myself as an example that was it. Your last statement is unnecessary because you do not know me. Why do you think I asked for the clarification?

 

[DSF140]

Sure. But that's not what was said. No one said you were a bad top or that guys don't enjoy you. What was said is that you cannot possibly understand what it's like to be penetrated because you haven't. The experience gives perspective that cannot be acquired in other ways, and the empathy it can generate is different and unique. You're not all things to all men. Neither am I. That's 100% cool and O.K. Be open to the idea that others have knowledge that is different and useful even if you yourself don't choose to explore.

On that note total bottoms should have to work to please a top who likes anal to see the work that those men put in.

So true, @Nudistpig . A "total bottom" should also experience what it's like to fuck someone who is constantly giving you negative feedback on how to fuck, as well as simply getting to understand the physicality of fucking, period. I'm usually always topping, and a good and fun fuck session for me is basically like a long cardio session at the gym. A lot of speeding up with the thrusts, slowing down, pivoting around, pulling all the way out, etc., all the while constantly watching the facial expressions of the other person, making sure that what I'm doing is pleasurable and not painful. Also, I have to make sure that my level of pleasure remains at a manageable level so as not to cum.

 

[Silbot.]

So true, @Nudistpig . A "total bottom" should also experience what it's like to fuck someone who is constantly giving you negative feedback on how to fuck, as well as simply getting to understand the physicality of fucking, period. I'm usually always topping, and a good and fun fuck session for me is basically like a long cardio session at the gym. A lot of speeding up with the thrusts, slowing down, pivoting around, pulling all the way out, etc., all the while constantly watching the facial expressions of the other person, making sure that what I'm doing is pleasurable and not painful. Also, I have to make sure that my level of pleasure remains at a manageable level so as not to cum.

That was a really hot answer.

 

[DSF140]

Dude fist of all I know it was not a personal comment towards me and my ego ins't wounded Kosmic said which implies he finds them bad tops I'm just saying guys who never bottom don't necessarily have to be bad tops and I use myself as an example that was it. Your last statement is unnecessary because you do not know me. Why do you think I asked for the clarification?

You're cool, @find83 . I do know that some guys are great lovers without having to train at the "Fuck Academy" For me, I had to study up on everything because, in all honesty, low self-esteem made me think that I couldn't do a damn thing right in the sex department. Silly, ain't it?!

 

[deleted1074483]

Thus, since his needs can’t be fulfilled with me because I’m not interested in topping, it will not work.

I think it’s a legit thing when bottoms say they aren’t interested in versatile men

And it’s really telling when versatile men never have these same problems with men who exclusively prefer to top 100% of the time.

Yes us 100% top guys do sometimes have the same issues you describe - I'm a relationship guy and twice got into a relationship with vers guys - even though we'd discussed it fully and they'd said they were happy to bottom, it did get to a point where their needs weren't being met by me, so those relationships ended.

I just think its easier, especially if you don't sleep around and want a relationship if one is top and one bottom - as you said vers guys can have all the vers guys they want to flip fuck with

 

[find83]

You're cool, @find83 . I do know that some guys are great lovers without having to train at the "Fuck Academy" For me, I had to study up on everything because, in all honesty, low self-esteem made me think that I couldn't do a damn thing right in the sex department. Silly, ain't it?!

Oh no don't get me wrong. I sucked at the beginning LOL, but life is about learning. That's why I did not discount the entire bottoming first to try to know how the other feel my point was it's not the only way. I learned by listening to my partner whether their male or female and asking. the one thing I find in sex is nothing is general yes a dude might be a total bottom, but does he like it rough, or soft or mix. You only know when you communicate and share. There's this impression that total tops are selfish and go out for there own nut, which sadly can be the case a lot of the time but just because you don't want to bottom doesn't mean you don't want to bring pleasure to your bottom. Sex isn't like the movies you can instantly know what the person wants, you try thing sometimes they work other times they don't but if you go out to make it an enjoyable experience usually it just get's better from there. Oh the self esteem thing can be hard. I use to be super shy about my height, still am sometimes. It is funny because you look back at past experiences and a lot of time the only person that was holding you back was your self. Other times the sex was just bad and you both had no chemistry that's life hehe

 

[DSF140]

So true. So true.

 

[Nudistpig]

Dude fist of all I know it was not a personal comment towards me and my ego ins't wounded Kosmic said which implies he finds them bad tops I'm just saying guys who never bottom don't necessarily have to be bad tops and I use myself as an example that was it. Your last statement is unnecessary because you do not know me. Why do you think I asked for the clarification?

Do we have to 'you don't Nomi Malone'? I'm not judging you man. I don't claim to know you. What I asked of you was to recognize that there is an experience here that you cannot lay claim to that is in and of itself unique valuable and not replaceable by other means. I don't discount that you are probably very good and that you do satisfy your partners. I can look at what you say you do as a top and think 'thats great'. I can also look at the experience of penetration by habitual tops and say 'thats also great '. One is not better than the other. One does not preclude the other. I guess I was hoping you would simply acknowledge that beyond the generalization Kosmic made there is a truth. FWIW I have been with many guys who penetrate exclusively who were amazing BUT they also in many cases ended up on my penis. The reason? Anyone who is having that much fun might be on to something. It's both flattering and stressful because I am not all that great at fucking. What I am good at is eating a hole until it is wet, loose, open and relaxed so my first stroke in is one direct plunge with no pain or discomfort. That's usually received with surprise and excitement. I don't know that I would know how to do this had I not subbed extensively.

The last line isn't for you. It's a dig back at Kosmic throwing what he said to you back in his court .

 

[Nudistpig]

Oh no don't get me wrong. I sucked at the beginning LOL, but life is about learning. That's why I did not discount the entire bottoming first to try to know how the other feel my point was it's not the only way. I learned by listening to my partner whether their male or female and asking. the one thing I find in sex is nothing is general yes a dude might be a total bottom, but does he like it rough, or soft or mix. You only know when you communicate and share. There's this impression that total tops are selfish and go out for there own nut, which sadly can be the case a lot of the time but just because you don't want to bottom doesn't mean you don't want to bring pleasure to your bottom. Sex isn't like the movies you can instantly know what the person wants, you try thing sometimes they work other times they don't but if you go out to make it an enjoyable experience usually it just get's better from there. Oh the self esteem thing can be hard. I use to be super shy about my height, still am sometimes. It is funny because you look back at past experiences and a lot of time the only person that was holding you back was your self. Other times the sex was just bad and you both had no chemistry that's life hehe[/QUOT

So true, @Nudistpig . A "total bottom" should also experience what it's like to fuck someone who is constantly giving you negative feedback on how to fuck, as well as simply getting to understand the physicality of fucking, period. I'm usually always topping, and a good and fun fuck session for me is basically like a long cardio session at the gym. A lot of speeding up with the thrusts, slowing down, pivoting around, pulling all the way out, etc., all the while constantly watching the facial expressions of the other person, making sure that what I'm doing is pleasurable and not painful. Also, I have to make sure that my level of pleasure remains at a manageable level so as not to cum.

So I follow the cock as you pivot thrust back adjust spread lock and do either what I'm told or know to do. Hole can be loose and sloppy or tight and grasping. You can plunge in dry and make me scream or rock it in gently and make me whimper. I can flip fall flat rise up and do most any adjustment and keep you in or keep taking strokes. Riding at my size is a real challenge but I can manage without putting weight on you. Bound and gagged. Suspended or tied down. Hooded or masked. Any number of positions situations or requests from the most intimate and tender affection to a punch fuck.

I work to allow the top the widest range of possibility in the moment of trust and intimacy present. Your pleasure is my pleasure first. If you are happy I am. I don't ask for anything unless instructed, barring the body expressing what it does. Both men need to rise to the occasion. If I'm not exhausted and you are, I didn't do my job .

 

[Clean Cut and Hung]

I’m very versatile. I do not date top-only and bottom-only guys. I feel a greater connectivity when we like, need and want both.

I also think the vast majority of top-only guys have major issues. I’ve known several guys in relationships who were top-only and their BF’s wanted to fuck them but the top wouldn’t let them. Meanwhile these “tops” were running around getting fucked by other guys like there was no tomorrow!

If it’s a hook up I don’t really care... I’m just horned up and am looking for a nice ass or a big cock!

 

[902369]

Yes us 100% top guys do sometimes have the same issues you describe - I'm a relationship guy and twice got into a relationship with vers guys - even though we'd discussed it fully and they'd said they were happy to bottom, it did get to a point where their needs weren't being met by me, so those relationships ended.

I just think its easier, especially if you don't sleep around and want a relationship if one is top and one bottom - as you said vers guys can have all the vers guys they want to flip fuck with

I agree with you and I'm not surprised. Versatiles expect everyone to flip and this is an honest and obvious answer to the question of the thread.

 

[DSF140]

So I follow the cock as you pivot thrust back adjust spread lock and do either what I'm told or know to do. Hole can be loose and sloppy or tight and grasping. You can plunge in dry and make me scream or rock it in gently and make me whimper. I can flip fall flat rise up and do most any adjustment and keep you in or keep taking strokes. Riding at my size is a real challenge but I can manage without putting weight on you. Bound and gagged. Suspended or tied down. Hooded or masked. Any number of positions situations or requests from the most intimate and tender affection to a punch fuck.

I work to allow the top the widest range of possibility in the moment of trust and intimacy present. Your pleasure is my pleasure first. If you are happy I am. I don't ask for anything unless instructed, barring the body expressing what it does. Both men need to rise to the occasion. If I'm not exhausted and you are, I didn't do my job .

Fucking hot, @Nudistpig !