Why are gay guys incapable of being in a real, long term relationship?

[1241586]

Not meant to? What would be the basis for assigning teleological meaning to our sexual tendencies?

Apart from reproduction, sex is a form of bonding in humans.

New Study Identifies Evolutionary Basis Of Homosexuality

 

[1241586]

Length of relationship does not mean there is quality in the relationship.

I agree. There are a lot of long term married straight couples out there who are together because of 'till death do we part' and convenience rather than being in a relationship because they're happy.

 

[wappingite]

We’ve been together 30 years this year. A long term relationship is a dynamic thing and there are so many different variables along the way. The rewards do take work and cultivation. I think there are so many false socio-normative expectations about what a relationship should and shouldn’t be. What is ‘right’ is really up to the two people, no one else.

 

[HorseHung40's]

I think that gay men are capable of maintaining stable, long-term relationships. I also think that it has been far more difficult for gay people to do so than it has been for heterosexuals.

In our puritanical USA, gay relationships have been relegated to shadows out of fear of losing a job, family, social status and anything else that would occur, if that person's surrounding people became aware of his or her homosexuality. That was NEVER the case with heterosexual relationships.

This has contributed greatly to ensuring that gay sexual encounters remain just that - encounters.

As gay relationships become mainstream, the idea that gay people cannot remain in long-term relationships should be revisited periodically. I think that as time passes, society will see more and more long-term gay relationships that it does now.

 

[ohiorod]

Hey guys. I posting this thread in hopes that someone on here that has been through this maybe can help me.

I just recently broke up with my boyfriend... my very first real boyfriend. He was the sweetest guy on earth... we grew so close... I was and still am very much in love with him. I thought we were perfect for each-other. We were alike in so many ways, had such similarities. Nobody could understand me like him.

We kept our relationship a secret from our families. At the beginning of our relationship he said it was because he wanted to make sure I would stick around. Then here we are.. like 5 months later. Things were getting serious between us. And that's when it all started to go south. I was ready to come out with him to my family. Thats how much I liked him. But he wasn't. The strain of keeping everything hidden I guess was wearing on him too much. He claims that it has nothing to do with me. That he needs to "find who he really is" and "what he is doing with his life". He said that I deserved better than him.

He broke up with me, it shattered my world into a million pieces. I was the happiest I had ever been with him. The pain of it all is almost unbearable.

The last guys that I have had "things" with ALWAYS are in this same situation. It seems like gay guys are INCAPIABLE of being in a real, long term relationship. They always say they need time to work on themselves. They always say its them and not me. They always say I am better off without them.

Right now I feel like I am at Rock Bottom, and feel like I will never find anyone for the rest of my life.

To anyone who reads all of this and can help me out, thank you so much.

I feel empathy in your loss of someone that you cared for deeply, but I can’t take that leap and lump all gays into your perceptions of guys who left you. To be honest, I would seriously ask yourself why you attract people who don’t want to make a commitment. Maybe it is a communication problem about what each of you are looking for. I can assure you that successful long term relationships are out there in the gay community, but as they say it takes two to tango. So be sure that you are dealing with someone with mutual goals and listen carefully and take to heart their expression of their goals in life. Good luck!!

 

[heavy weather]

I'm gay and I have been in a monogamous relationship with my partner (now husband) since 1984.
Does that qualify as a real, long term relationship?

 

[902369]

I'm gay and I have been in a monogamous relationship with my partner (now husband) since 1984.
Does that qualify as a real, long term relationship?

Yes, if it's not an "open relationship"

 

[902369]

Researchers suggest that the absolute best form of relationship among human beings is dyadic, meaning two people. This has nothing to do with religion, society, nor marriage; rather, researchers just take into account human bonding, support and ability to grow together/team building. This same research suggests that once the relationship becomes more than 2 people it goes downhill from there.

This last sentence is where gays mess up and is why I will never be ok with "open relationships" among gay men.

 

[1163616]

Researchers suggest that the absolute best form of relationship among human beings is dyadic, meaning two people. This has nothing to do with religion, society, nor marriage; rather, researchers just take into account human bonding, support and ability to grow together/team building. This same research suggests that once the relationship becomes more than 2 people it goes downhill from there.

This last sentence is where gays mess up and is why I will never be ok with "open relationships" among gay men.

Could you cite that research?