Why are girls treated different than boys?

[dolfette]

i know i've taught her a skill that will not only help herself one day, but her husband will surely appreciate having a good cook. My husband sure does. I take pleasure in his pleasure.

personally, i don't like that thinking much...

but then i tell my boy, when i teach him a meal, that most women love it when a man can cook. that's not frowned on by most pcers though.
i don't think it's harmful for your child that you feel this way.
she loves cooking. if she gets married to a man, he'll enjoy eating it. if she turns out gay, her gf will love eating it. if she stays single forever then she'll love eating it. it's a priceless life skill.
her knowing how to cook won't stop her maybe future husband from cooking. it won't stop her from joining the army or discovering a cure for cancer.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I agree, knowing how to cook is just great in general. It's awesome to take things to holiday dinners or parties and everyone goes crazy over your creation. Thats the kind of thing she'll be able to do as well.

But since Rommette was speaking about the relationship between men and women in the household, it only made sense to show how knowing those things can be beneficial to a relationship. If my husband could cook better than me, I'd let him. I would just take over some other thing in the house to makeup for what he's saving me from having to do.

If my daughter is a lesbian, she better atleast have me one grandchild by any means necessary!

 

[TroMag]

Amen, MR, amen.

Women with the brow beating progressive feminist mentality don't do themselves or their kids any favors by insisting everything in life be split evenly and fair.

Lots of American women, especially young women, are blind to this because they are looking through the wrong lens. A lot of the older ones figure it out when they are single and unwanted or when their sons become juvenile delinquents and their daughters become the neighborhood slut.

What are you going to do that makes any man happy? Have you thought about what you have to offer him?

Exactly. I'd love to hear her answer to this.

 

[dolfette]

I agree, knowing how to cook is just great in general. It's awesome to take things to holiday dinners or parties and everyone goes crazy over your creation. Thats the kind of thing she'll be able to do as well.

But since Rommette was speaking about the relationship between men and women in the household, it only made sense to show how knowing those things can be beneficial to a relationship. If my husband could cook better than me, I'd let him. I would just take over some other thing in the house to makeup for what he's saving me from having to do.

If my daughter is a lesbian, she better atleast have me one grandchild by any means necessary!

or she could make good money as a top chef.
knowing the skills won't hurt her one iota.

i think we all imagine our children's futures...picturing my daughter in a wedding dress doesn't mean i wouldn't love her just as much if she chose to become a nun instead, and it certainly wouldn't stop her becoming one.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Amen, MR, amen.

Lots of American women, especially young women, are blind to this. A lot of the older ones figure it out when they are single and unwanted or when their sons become juvenile delinquents and their daughters become the neighborhood slut.

Exactly. I'd love to hear her answer to this.

I wish i could ask more women this question in general. I wish someone had asked me this before i got married. You would have heard crickets. It's a good opportunity to talk with someone about what it takes to make a relationship/household/family/marriage work.

I try to take the mistakes my Mom and Grandma's made, hell even in the ones my Mother in Law made based on what i've seen and what her kids say and morph my life into being a better wife and mother. We should all strive for better than how we were raised in some form or fashion.

But based on news headlines, blogs, threads, conversations in real life....there are a ton of single people out there. Not just women, but women have more power than a man does in the relationship to make things work. We have the ability to be their everything, to raise their babies, to make them want to come home to us.

I am not living in an unequal household. I have all the power in the world over my man. If he was having sex with another woman I could be the woman he needed me to be in order to make him choose me, after all he's got a mortgage with me, a child with me...it's a lot easier to pick up where you left off with the person you are with to that degree than it is to go through a divorce and lose almost everything and have to visit your kid on the weekends. Most men find solace in another woman because he gets zero respect from home. This applies to good men that is, not if your man is an asshole in general or a womanizer or an abuser. I'm talking about your average guy in this world who isn't necessarily out to get pussy 24/7 and hang out with his buddies.

Women always have and always will have more say so in the household if they are good women who pick good men. Does that mean all marriages will work? No, but you can't give up as soon as the going gets rough either. We've had our moments and seasons of problems. But thankfully we both stuck around to see through the tidal waves and do what we can to make it better. That's the kind of man/woman you want.

Choose wisely, treat kindly, stay devoted to work it through, try to out do the other one in what they offer you.

Up the ante to the point he would never be able to find another woman like you to make him happy. Makes sense to me.

I'm a pretty strong willed personality, I've had to learn to reign in my mouth and not always say what i think. It's also been a good thing for our marriage. Just because we think it doesnt mean it needs to be said. The stronger persona needs to have the self restraint to not always have to have the last word.

If you are always trying to get respect, you probably aren't with a good person. If you are insisting on respect you will likely not get it without earning it first. If you are always talking about people needing to respect you, you probably aren't dishing out much respect yourself.

 

[alwaysguessing]

Nobody has addressed the real issue here. When you live in your parent's house, you do what they tell you to do. That's all there is to it. You might not agree with their ideals. You might not like doing the chores. Too bad! You should be grateful and consider yourself lucky that they are willing to support you while you go to school. When you graduate and move out, you can do whatever the fuck you want. You can marry whoever you want, and raise your kids according to your own ideals. Until then, deal with it. I understand you are probably just venting. My parents drove me nuts when I was in school, but now that I'm out I'm eternally grateful for their support.

At the same time Madem made some points that I think I should address. Yes, you have the right to raise your daughter as you please but at the same time it hurts all women. Why? Because your daughter is going to grow up thinking she only has certain roles in the household. This stuff affects progressive women like myself. Why? Because I have to "compete" with women who have been raised as your daughter has. Of course men are going to preffer your daughter (men who benefit from what society thinks in this situation never have any complaints). After all, house repairs only happen periodically while food needs to be cooked everyday and such...

OK now at this point you're just whining. Rogue is free to raise her children however she might see fit. It has nothing to do with you, so get over it. If you are worried that her daughter is going to attract more mates because she will be seen as somehow superior to you, then perhaps you are barking up the wrong tree. Do you want a man who really wants a domestic housewife, but has to settle for the likes of you because there are no women that actually meet his standards? Or would you rather have a man who wants an independent woman, and appreciates you for your views and ideals?

You know, not all men are required to want the same type of woman, and not all women are required to be exactly the same.

 

[dolfette]

What are you going to do that makes any man happy? Have you thought about what you have to offer him? When you move in with some guy, tell me what your plans are to have a happy life, then lets talk about what your plans are once kids arrive.

she could be the main earner.
or they could split it down the middle.
that might work for her.

though, honestly, having read rom's threads on how she allows men to treat her, i wouldn't put money on it...not unless she puts a lot of work into toughening up. that sounds bitchy but it's not meant to be.
(no, seriously, just this once i'm not being a bitch)

 

[B_subgirrl]

Amen, MR, amen.

Lots of American women, especially young women, are blind to this because they are looking through the wrong lens. A lot of the older ones figure it out when they are single and unwanted or when their sons become juvenile delinquents and their daughters become the neighborhood slut.

Exactly. I'd love to hear her answer to this.

I'm unsure what you mean by this. Is seems to me that you are saying that feminists who want things split evenly end up with daughters who are sluts. As I assume that you didn't mean to say that, could you make your post a little clearer please?

 

[alwaysguessing]

though, honestly, having read rom's threads on how she allows men to treat her, i wouldn't put money on it...not unless she puts a lot of work into toughening up.

How's that? I haven't noticed. I'm getting that she allows men to push her around somewhat?

This is a shame then. It appears that she is either incapable or unwilling to take responsibility for her own life. And so, she believes the only way for her circumstances to improve, is if everyone else in the world decides to start acting according to her ideals. Then no man will ever try to dominate her, and she will never be forced to stand up for herself.

Come on, Rom, you are in control here! If you want something out of life, then go out and get it! Apparently you have plenty of opportunity so there is no reason to settle for less. Alternatively, you can sit around sulking and complaining that "This is everyone's fault but mine!"

Your choice.

 

[TroMag]

I'm unsure what you mean by this. Is seems to me that you are saying that feminists who want things split evenly end up with daughters who are sluts. As I assume that you didn't mean to say that, could you make your post a little clearer please?

Many feminist women end up single mothers. Children of single mothers tend not to fare as well as children of two parent households.

That said, I wouldn't be surprised that feminist two parent households (remember, men can be feminists too) raise sluttier daughters than traditional two parent households.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

How's that? I haven't noticed. I'm getting that she allows men to push her around somewhat?

This is a shame then. It appears that she is either incapable or unwilling to take responsibility for her own life. And so, she believes the only way for her circumstances to improve, is if everyone else in the world decides to start acting according to her ideals. Then no man will ever try to dominate her, and she will never be forced to stand up for herself.

Come on, Rom, you are in control here! If you want something out of life, then go out and get it! Apparently you have plenty of opportunity so there is no reason to settle for less. Alternatively, you can sit around sulking and complaining that "This is everyone's fault but mine!"

Your choice.

you are new here, but you can read someones post history:

http://www.lpsg.org/search.php?searchid=10064665

http://www.lpsg.org/search.php?searchid=10064669

 

[TroMag]

I wish i could ask more women this question in general. I wish someone had asked me this before i got married. You would have heard crickets. It's a good opportunity to talk with someone about what it takes to make a relationship/household/family/marriage work.

Look at how girls are raised in this society. They dream about their wedding day from the time they are very young. Young women read bridal magazines. All the focus is on the wedding day - 'her day'. No thought goes into all the days that follow, i.e., married life.

Because you are cognizant of what makes a marriage work between a man and a woman, your daughter will stand out to real men, assuming there are any left by the time she comes of age, like a diamond in the rough.

 

[alwaysguessing]

you are new here, but you can read someones post history:

http://www.lpsg.org/search.php?searchid=10064665

http://www.lpsg.org/search.php?searchid=10064669

I didn't find anything relevant. Did I understand dolfette's post correctly or not?

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Look at how girls are raised in this society. They dream about their wedding day from the time they are very young. Young women read bridal magazines. All the focus is on the wedding day - 'her day'. No thought goes into all the days that follow, i.e., married life.

Because you are cognizant of what makes a marriage work between a man and a woman, your daughter will stand out to real men, assuming there are any left by the time she comes of age, like a diamond in the rough.

The wedding day is the easy part. No one gives much advice on relationships, people don't ask and others try not to give unsolicited advice. When my grandma was growing up, by the time she was married at 16 she already had all of her linens sewn. Every quilt and blanket was handmade. She was tought early on to prepare for homelife. Sadly, all she ended up being was a worker bee. There is no sense in going that far for example. But the idea was to teach the ladies of the household how to make a home. Mom would talk to her daughters about life and relationships. Even if it was a mere "When you get married, you better make it work because you aren't coming back here to stay" that atleast makes someone think about who they are marrying for life if they can't come back home. Now im not sure i would tell my daughter that, but atleast that was something your mom might have said to you.

Nothing wrong with having dreams of a nice wedding. But often times women want all the traditional everything except having to do anything traditional to get it. Women aren't generally living at home until marriage anymore. Spending that kind of money on a wedding for your daughter isnt even worth it if the divorce rate is so high. There is a huge emphasis on dream weddings, but never a dream marriage.

A woman wants a white dress, the big cake, the flowers for her birthday and nice dinners for her anniversary...etc....but doing anything traditional to get that sort of traditional behavior from a man is off limits?

What kind of guy buys flowers for his wife because she is a good Assistant District Attorney or hired a good housekeeper? He buys her sweet little things because she's been sweet to him. Don't expect a man to put you on a pedastal when you give every part of who you are to your job or only to the kids. It's ridiculous.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I didn't find anything relevant. Did I understand dolfette's post correctly or not?

You didnt? I saw a bunch of relavent things on the first page alone. But then again i was there when she posted them. Just meander through the titles of the threads. Focus on a few keywords such as men, boyfriend, neglect, pregnancy, etc.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Many feminist women end up single mothers. Children of single mothers tend not to fare as well as children of two parent households.

OK, I can see the logic here. Each of these statements are quite true.

That said, I wouldn't be surprised that feminist two parent households (remember, men can be feminists too) raise sluttier daughters than traditional two parent households.

Again though, I'm not sure where the slut part comes in. How does feminism lead to sluttiness? And what is your definition of the word slut?

 

[TroMag]

Nothing wrong with having dreams of a nice wedding. But often times women want all the traditional everything except having to do anything traditional to get it. Women aren't generally living at home until marriage anymore. Spending that kind of money on a wedding for your daughter isnt even worth it if the divorce rate is so high. There is a huge emphasis on dream weddings, but never a dream marriage.

A woman wants a white dress, the big cake, the flowers for her birthday and nice dinners for her anniversary...etc....but doing anything traditional to get that sort of traditional behavior from a man is off limits?

What kind of guy buys flowers for his wife because she is a good Assistant District Attorney or hired a good housekeeper? He buys her sweet little things because she's been sweet to him. Don't expect a man to put you on a pedastal when you give every part of who you are to your job or only to the kids. It's ridiculous.

Wow. Please stop reading my mind! :tongue:

Seriously, every young woman needs to read this as many times as necessary for it to sink in. Unless you plan on marrying a 'progressive' feminist man. Then you can get away with murder and he'll still love you.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Look at how girls are raised in this society. They dream about their wedding day from the time they are very young. Young women read bridal magazines. All the focus is on the wedding day - 'her day'. No thought goes into all the days that follow, i.e., married life.

Because you are cognizant of what makes a marriage work between a man and a woman, your daughter will stand out to real men, assuming there are any left by the time she comes of age, like a diamond in the rough.

I agree with you here. Many girls/women put way too much importance on the wedding day rather than the marriage. Marriage is supposed to be for the rest of your life, not for one day. So it really is important for people to figure out what works for them. If that means having people doing traditional roles - so be it. If that means fulfilling very non-traditional roles, well that's fine too.

 

[TroMag]

OK, I can see the logic here. Each of these statements are quite true.




Again though, I'm not sure where the slut part comes in. How does feminism lead to sluttiness? And what is your definition of the word slut?

Are you serious? Feminism promotes slutitude. It's pretty much a core principle. Oh wait, they sneak it in under the umbrella of 'empowerment'.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Many feminist women end up single mothers. Children of single mothers tend not to fare as well as children of two parent households.

That said, I wouldn't be surprised that feminist two parent households (remember, men can be feminists too) raise sluttier daughters than traditional two parent households.

Are you serious? Feminism promotes slutitude. It's pretty much a core principle. Oh wait, they sneak it in under the umbrella of 'empowerment'.

If I might direct sir's attention to the misogyny thread - I'm sure you can get some good old fashioned trolling in there, too.

Seriously - your points are not worth responding to, so I shan't.

Subgirl, please stop feeding this guy's desire to get a rise out of us. After all, if he were saying that black kids being brought up by civil rights activists were more likely to be 'uppity n*****s' he'd have been warned, if not outright banned, by now.